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write your funniest joke here.
OR
vote for your funniest joke on this thread so far.
my funniest joke is:
School!
One day Sam came home from school. He came into his mother and she said how was your day at school. He said “great, I got an A on my maths test and I sex with the teacher”. She slapped him round the head and said, “Go and tell your father what you said. So off he goes into the living-room where he stands beside his father and says “Mum hit me told me to come in here and tell you about my day at school” and he said “this must’ve been a bad one, what have you done” so the boy says “I got an A on my maths test and I had sex with my teacher”. And the father says “ that’s great news, no you’ve past a major milestone in life, i'm gonna take you out for and ice-cream and buy you a bike. And the boy replies, “I don’t mind the ice-cream, but can we skip the bike” and the “father says why is that son?” “ Cause my hole is killing me!”
OR
vote for your funniest joke on this thread so far.
my funniest joke is:
School!
One day Sam came home from school. He came into his mother and she said how was your day at school. He said “great, I got an A on my maths test and I sex with the teacher”. She slapped him round the head and said, “Go and tell your father what you said. So off he goes into the living-room where he stands beside his father and says “Mum hit me told me to come in here and tell you about my day at school” and he said “this must’ve been a bad one, what have you done” so the boy says “I got an A on my maths test and I had sex with my teacher”. And the father says “ that’s great news, no you’ve past a major milestone in life, i'm gonna take you out for and ice-cream and buy you a bike. And the boy replies, “I don’t mind the ice-cream, but can we skip the bike” and the “father says why is that son?” “ Cause my hole is killing me!”
Page:
A nose walks into a bar. The barman says
'sorry, we can't serve you, you're off your face!'
'sorry, we can't serve you, you're off your face!'
Twain wrote:
> Russ (RM18) wrote:
> lol I didn't get them from
> Countdown, but hey, if
> I'm telling the same jokes as Richard Madeley, that's
> very
> worrying
Who's Richard Madeley?
Sorry, I meant Richard Whiteley. I always get those confused
> Russ (RM18) wrote:
> lol I didn't get them from
> Countdown, but hey, if
> I'm telling the same jokes as Richard Madeley, that's
> very
> worrying
Who's Richard Madeley?
Sorry, I meant Richard Whiteley. I always get those confused
Russ (RM18) wrote:
> lol I didn't get them from
> Countdown, but hey, if I'm telling the same jokes as Richard Madeley, that's
> very worrying
Who's Richard Madeley?
> lol I didn't get them from
> Countdown, but hey, if I'm telling the same jokes as Richard Madeley, that's
> very worrying
Who's Richard Madeley?
I got another one:
What position should Phil Neville play for England?
Left back in the changing room!
Damn, done it again...
What position should Phil Neville play for England?
Left back in the changing room!
Damn, done it again...
Twain wrote:
> Russ (RM18) wrote:
> I got some more
A font walks in to a bar. The barman
> says
'sorry, we don't
> serve your type here'
A horse walks into a
> bar. The barman says
'why the
> long face'
A man walks into a bar with
> a roll of tarmac under his arm.
He
> says 'can I have a drink please. One
> for me, one for the road'
You heard them from Countdown a while back,
> didn't you. You got the words EXACTLY right if you were trying to copy them, so
> you must of got them like that. Anyway, here goes:
Two nuts (Not that sort!)
> walk into a bar. One was assulted.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To
> get to the other side.
Why did the chicken want to get to the other side?
To
> go to the toilet.
Why did the chicken want to go to the toilet?
Because it's
> where all the. . .
The rest is too rude for these forums, but I think you can
> guess the rest.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry,
> we don't serve food here, only drinks."
What do you call a Russian with
> three gonads?
Hoojanicka*******of!
*In an Elvis-type voice*
Thank you,
> thank you very much, you're beautiful!
lol I didn't get them from Countdown, but hey, if I'm telling the same jokes as Richard Madeley, that's very worrying
> Russ (RM18) wrote:
> I got some more
A font walks in to a bar. The barman
> says
'sorry, we don't
> serve your type here'
A horse walks into a
> bar. The barman says
'why the
> long face'
A man walks into a bar with
> a roll of tarmac under his arm.
He
> says 'can I have a drink please. One
> for me, one for the road'
You heard them from Countdown a while back,
> didn't you. You got the words EXACTLY right if you were trying to copy them, so
> you must of got them like that. Anyway, here goes:
Two nuts (Not that sort!)
> walk into a bar. One was assulted.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To
> get to the other side.
Why did the chicken want to get to the other side?
To
> go to the toilet.
Why did the chicken want to go to the toilet?
Because it's
> where all the. . .
The rest is too rude for these forums, but I think you can
> guess the rest.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry,
> we don't serve food here, only drinks."
What do you call a Russian with
> three gonads?
Hoojanicka*******of!
*In an Elvis-type voice*
Thank you,
> thank you very much, you're beautiful!
lol I didn't get them from Countdown, but hey, if I'm telling the same jokes as Richard Madeley, that's very worrying
Russ (RM18) wrote:
> I got some more
A font walks in to a bar. The barman says
'sorry, we don't
> serve your type here'
A horse walks into a bar. The barman says
'why the
> long face'
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.
He
> says 'can I have a drink please. One for me, one for the road'
You heard them from Countdown a while back, didn't you. You got the words EXACTLY right if you were trying to copy them, so you must of got them like that. Anyway, here goes:
Two nuts (Not that sort!) walk into a bar. One was assulted.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the chicken want to get to the other side?
To go to the toilet.
Why did the chicken want to go to the toilet?
Because it's where all the. . .
The rest is too rude for these forums, but I think you can guess the rest.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here, only drinks."
What do you call a Russian with three gonads?
Hoojanicka*******of!
*In an Elvis-type voice*
Thank you, thank you very much, you're beautiful!
> I got some more
A font walks in to a bar. The barman says
'sorry, we don't
> serve your type here'
A horse walks into a bar. The barman says
'why the
> long face'
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.
He
> says 'can I have a drink please. One for me, one for the road'
You heard them from Countdown a while back, didn't you. You got the words EXACTLY right if you were trying to copy them, so you must of got them like that. Anyway, here goes:
Two nuts (Not that sort!) walk into a bar. One was assulted.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the chicken want to get to the other side?
To go to the toilet.
Why did the chicken want to go to the toilet?
Because it's where all the. . .
The rest is too rude for these forums, but I think you can guess the rest.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here, only drinks."
What do you call a Russian with three gonads?
Hoojanicka*******of!
*In an Elvis-type voice*
Thank you, thank you very much, you're beautiful!
just spent ages writing a joke out, computer went dodge so cant be bothered to write it again
I got some more
A font walks in to a bar. The barman says
'sorry, we don't serve your type here'
A horse walks into a bar. The barman says
'why the long face'
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.
He says 'can I have a drink please. One for me, one for the road'
A font walks in to a bar. The barman says
'sorry, we don't serve your type here'
A horse walks into a bar. The barman says
'why the long face'
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.
He says 'can I have a drink please. One for me, one for the road'
I priest is leaving for a trip to Rome and puts the new priest in charge.
he gives him a list of E.G hit someone and that is 4 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Marys.
The first person comes up and says I had Sex with my boyfriend and I was not marry.The priest looks at the sheet and says 4 Our Fathers and a Hail Mary for pendants.
The next person comes in and says:I looked up my mothers dress and the priset again looks at the sheet and says"Say 4 Our Father's and a Hail Mary for pendants.
The next person came up a said I gave my boyfriend a BJ and the priest looks at the sheet and says it's not on the list and goes to the altar boy what does father give for a BJ and the reply and can of coke and a pack of crisps.
Do you think this is?
Vote.
Coley.
he gives him a list of E.G hit someone and that is 4 Our Fathers and 3 Hail Marys.
The first person comes up and says I had Sex with my boyfriend and I was not marry.The priest looks at the sheet and says 4 Our Fathers and a Hail Mary for pendants.
The next person comes in and says:I looked up my mothers dress and the priset again looks at the sheet and says"Say 4 Our Father's and a Hail Mary for pendants.
The next person came up a said I gave my boyfriend a BJ and the priest looks at the sheet and says it's not on the list and goes to the altar boy what does father give for a BJ and the reply and can of coke and a pack of crisps.
Do you think this is?
Vote.
Coley.
A man walks into a bar.
Ouch
Ouch
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