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"I was bullied"

Ever since primary school I have been bullied. Not physically, I've never been hit, kicked, or threatened by any high degree of violence. Just mental and verbal bullying. Some say it's the worst kind.

So what actually happened?

Well, I've always been considered as the sensible one. The person who seems mature for my age group. Also the one who used to be enthusiastic about learning in primary school. I was always first to put up my hand when the teacher asked a question, always one of the first to complete my work, always the one who'd be first to line up to go back to the classroom at the end of break times.

So ofcourse you can probably understand what came out of it. Lots of verbal diahorrea about being weak, teachers pet, and stuff like that. I don't really want to go into too much detail about what they said because: 1. I don't like mentioning them and 2. I've put a mental block on that kinda thing.

To be honest I don't see what's wrong with any of the above. The whole point in going to school is to learn. And what's the point in causing complications? Of course I didn't want the breaks to end, but I'd rather things ran smoothly than be kept behind for any reason.

Anyway, it's not just verbal bullying I've had to put up since I was 5, I've had to put up with exclusion. You know how when certain people get left out or picked for teams in sports last, no matter what their abilities are like? That can be quite hurtful, and believe me, I know after putting up with twelve years of it.

And again, it's not just exclusion from sports. No matter how much I've tried to fit in, I've only ever had a few friends I can actually call "good friends". I've always been in small groups of friends, those few that would put up with me. Most probably wouldn't stick up for me if I needed it, they'd just walk away if anything happened to me.

So why else is it that I'm left alone like this? Is it my polite manner? Is it because I'd rather be friends with people than enemies? Because I don't spit everywhere, smoke, drink, take drugs, and take part in illegal activities? Is it because I'm not interested in pop-bands or how Geri Halliwell looks now she's got her own yoga video? Is it because I'm a huge fan of videogaming? Gamers are still associated with computer nerds who stay up all night and day in a small dark room with their computer monitor being their only source of light, speaking to jackass592 on AOL whilst downloading pictures of obscene behaviour with a carrot and bubblebath.

Since I've moved to Cardiff, I've still had to put up with it. For the first few years of high school, I tried to fit in, and from day 1, people commented on my accent! Not in a friendly, having a laugh kinda way, but an annoying aggressive kind of way which again is hurtful!

During the last couple of years, I've managed to make friends with someone who has also had similar problems because of the way he looks. There's nothing wrong with him at all, and I can't see why people are so hurtful towards him. All that's different is he hasn't got any pigment in his hair or skin. So he's paler and has very light blonde hair. He can't help it, if he could've chosen differently he would have, but people just exclude him and call him stupid names involving Ice-cream because of it.

Infact, someone who I thought was a friend years ago now keeps saying "Why do you hang round with White Boy all the time, you should be hanging round with us." to which I reply "Shut up. I'd rather hang round with elmo from Sesame Street than hang round with someone who makes fun of my friends!"

You could say that it's dying down now. I still get the social exclusion because of my personality, and because of my choice of best friend. I have learnt to stick up for myself, but it isn't easy and no one should have to do it. It's not easy on me, my friend, or anyone else who has been bullied in such a way. It's easy to hit people, or to call them something back, but you don't achieve anything by it. They do it all the more because they know they'll get a reaction.

Most of the time, I've managed to hide my pain, my feelings of hurt and anger towards people. That's the kind of person I am. I control my emotions. And to be honest, this is the first time I've gone into this much detail about it to anyone.

Again, as I said about my illnesses, gaming has pulled me through it all. If I didn't have that much or a destraction, I probably would have lost my sense of individuality and have started lashing out on people in school for no reasons at all. Gaming allows me to take my frustration out on bunches of pixels which look like aliens and people, instead of doing it in real life.

So just remember, before you write, type or say anything to someone which could be interpreted in anyway to be insulting, hurtful, no matter how mild, it could effect someone in a way you don't even realise!

I think this is a very good topic, and has probably helped a lot of guys in here who suffer from bullying.

Although I've left school now there was this one kid who annoyed the hell out of me, not ullying, it wasn't that bad, but he tried his best to make school bad. What I can say, and I cannot stress this enough, is Don't let them see you are affected by it, they prey on stuff like that. Also, stand up for yourself( I know you've been saying it's hard), you would not believe how good standing up for yourself is, y'see, bullies only do what they do because they know you won't retaliate; if you show them that you aren't prepared to take any crap, then they will stop.
Great post Edgy :)

Yeah Edgy. Best topic I seen in ages.

See, he's multi-talented. Lucky devil. :)

To add to my original post, I feel I have got stronger as a person ever since my younger (but now much taller) brother started school.

Even though I've been bullied in the past, I have always looked out for my younger brother, despite all the fights we've had at home.

I've always had a feeling of satisfaction when I've helped him to sort out problems in school, whether it be idiots who think they're 'hard', or just problems by people scheming against him. Infact, there was on scheming little brat (I really feel strongly against him because of what he did) who kept getting my brother into trouble that I sorted him out, without touching him once.

For a few days, my brother who waited for me at the school gates was always troubled by him. He kept on doing things to get my brother into trouble and it ofcourse upset him. But one day, this kid crossed the line. My brother was crying at the school gates when I arrived. So I asked him what happened, he told me (I'm not gonna discuss my brother's problems online) and I felt really really angry inside.

Now this kid always caught a later bus than the school bus because there were always 6th-formers there to 'protect' him. But of course, when I reached the bus stop, they weren't there (til it was too late anyway).

Now, I didn't bully him, I just explained to him what he was. I first called him a "little (four letter word for excrement)", then I told him he was selfish, arrogant, and any other word I could think of at the time. I asked him why he did what he had done, asked him what pleasure he got out of it, etc. I was so angry that I said it in such an evil way (I've never done anything like it before) that he started crying! He was scared! He couldn't face up to the victim's brother!

But I never laid a finger on him, and never have since.

That was the first time I had ever vented my anger like that on a person before. He's never crossed me since and now he's friends with my brother (I still dislike him though).

With my friend (can't believe some of you haven't clicked to who it may be yet!) I feel sorry for him whenever people comment on his looks. Infact, I do feel like inflicting violence on these people. They don't just comment about him though. I was asked if I was his 'bodyguard' once just because I didn't walk away to leave him get bullied by a bunch of little kids. I feel really strongly against bullying and no bully will ever get my forgiveness. That's why I don't walk away when my friend or brother is picked on. I'd rather help them through it, even if it still effects me because I know what it's like to go through it, and don't want anyone else to have to go through it.

If it means I get into any fights, then the bullies will regret starting anything. I supress my feelings, and when I do vent them, as the kid mentioned above will know, I can be really evil! I'm not intentionally. But when I do get the strength to stand up for myself, no one dared cross me.

I'm not hard, I don't weight train, infact I'm suprised I'm not a fat lump with the amount of games I play. As my friend should tell you, I'm usually polite, friendly, and I don't discriminate against anyone. But I really hate people who get kicks out of hurting others.



To end this post, I'd like to thank Dark Mark, Slave2Games, and everyone else who's supported me and my topic. And, despite the argument I had with Grix, I'd like to think him for encouraging me to type about this. Thankyou all guys!

sorry I don't post much.. But I'm biting into my 'Homework Time' to spend a few minutes doing something fun.. laughing

"Why do you hang round with White Boy all the time, you should be hanging round with us." to which I reply "Shut up. I'd rather hang round with elmo from Sesame Street than hang round with someone who makes fun of my friends!"


LMFAO!

You are absolutely right Edgy, bullying gets me so freakin' mad, that I just wanna inflict some serious damage on the guys face. What I really hate about them though, is that they always do it in front of a crowd. If you walked down the street and he/she was on heir own, they wouldn't say anything. That provesthat they are nothing but spinelsss cowards

Edgy said.......


"To end this post, I'd like to thank Dark Mark, Slave2Games, and everyone else who's supported me and my topic. And, despite the argument I had with Grix, I'd like to think him for encouraging me to type about this. Thankyou all guys!"

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Not only is he multi-talented, he's a little sweetie as well.

Contact me, people!

[email protected]

I won't bite....hard.

(sorry for stealing your limelight Edgy, but I wanted to squeeze in some free advertising!)

Don't have any younger brothers or anything (I'm the youngest) but I keep an eye out for my best mate's little brother (even though he's the third hardest in his year)

Anyway, read my guide to knocking off in the Life... forum, and you can just knock off school and not face the bullies

By the way, that was a joke. There was a kid who got bullied loads in my class (though he brought it on himself, he was THE biggest foo ever, always starting fights) and he used to knock off every DAY to avoid the dissing, then he left

Don't be like him, stand up to the bullies

But still read my guide to knocking off, heh

Hey Mark, I told you you've got to pay to advertise on my topics :)

That quote Hassy took from my original message, I've been asked that many times from the same person. And I will name him because he never comes here, and if he does, he should realise what he's doing. He's called Andrew Moore (and that is a common name round here). He says that to me everytime I go to meet Mark, and I always tell him to shut it. He wouldn't like it if I started putting down his friends, so why does he do it to mine?

If anybody bullies you or anybody else here just let me know and I'll come running waving my stick like a loony.

Doughnut Monster wrote:
> If anybody bullies you or anybody else here just let me know and I'll come
> running waving my stick like a loony.

Yes, but let's face it - what will that achieve? Surely hitting them with the stick would be far more effective?