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"I was bullied"

Ever since primary school I have been bullied. Not physically, I've never been hit, kicked, or threatened by any high degree of violence. Just mental and verbal bullying. Some say it's the worst kind.

So what actually happened?

Well, I've always been considered as the sensible one. The person who seems mature for my age group. Also the one who used to be enthusiastic about learning in primary school. I was always first to put up my hand when the teacher asked a question, always one of the first to complete my work, always the one who'd be first to line up to go back to the classroom at the end of break times.

So ofcourse you can probably understand what came out of it. Lots of verbal diahorrea about being weak, teachers pet, and stuff like that. I don't really want to go into too much detail about what they said because: 1. I don't like mentioning them and 2. I've put a mental block on that kinda thing.

To be honest I don't see what's wrong with any of the above. The whole point in going to school is to learn. And what's the point in causing complications? Of course I didn't want the breaks to end, but I'd rather things ran smoothly than be kept behind for any reason.

Anyway, it's not just verbal bullying I've had to put up since I was 5, I've had to put up with exclusion. You know how when certain people get left out or picked for teams in sports last, no matter what their abilities are like? That can be quite hurtful, and believe me, I know after putting up with twelve years of it.

And again, it's not just exclusion from sports. No matter how much I've tried to fit in, I've only ever had a few friends I can actually call "good friends". I've always been in small groups of friends, those few that would put up with me. Most probably wouldn't stick up for me if I needed it, they'd just walk away if anything happened to me.

So why else is it that I'm left alone like this? Is it my polite manner? Is it because I'd rather be friends with people than enemies? Because I don't spit everywhere, smoke, drink, take drugs, and take part in illegal activities? Is it because I'm not interested in pop-bands or how Geri Halliwell looks now she's got her own yoga video? Is it because I'm a huge fan of videogaming? Gamers are still associated with computer nerds who stay up all night and day in a small dark room with their computer monitor being their only source of light, speaking to jackass592 on AOL whilst downloading pictures of obscene behaviour with a carrot and bubblebath.

Since I've moved to Cardiff, I've still had to put up with it. For the first few years of high school, I tried to fit in, and from day 1, people commented on my accent! Not in a friendly, having a laugh kinda way, but an annoying aggressive kind of way which again is hurtful!

During the last couple of years, I've managed to make friends with someone who has also had similar problems because of the way he looks. There's nothing wrong with him at all, and I can't see why people are so hurtful towards him. All that's different is he hasn't got any pigment in his hair or skin. So he's paler and has very light blonde hair. He can't help it, if he could've chosen differently he would have, but people just exclude him and call him stupid names involving Ice-cream because of it.

Infact, someone who I thought was a friend years ago now keeps saying "Why do you hang round with White Boy all the time, you should be hanging round with us." to which I reply "Shut up. I'd rather hang round with elmo from Sesame Street than hang round with someone who makes fun of my friends!"

You could say that it's dying down now. I still get the social exclusion because of my personality, and because of my choice of best friend. I have learnt to stick up for myself, but it isn't easy and no one should have to do it. It's not easy on me, my friend, or anyone else who has been bullied in such a way. It's easy to hit people, or to call them something back, but you don't achieve anything by it. They do it all the more because they know they'll get a reaction.

Most of the time, I've managed to hide my pain, my feelings of hurt and anger towards people. That's the kind of person I am. I control my emotions. And to be honest, this is the first time I've gone into this much detail about it to anyone.

Again, as I said about my illnesses, gaming has pulled me through it all. If I didn't have that much or a destraction, I probably would have lost my sense of individuality and have started lashing out on people in school for no reasons at all. Gaming allows me to take my frustration out on bunches of pixels which look like aliens and people, instead of doing it in real life.

So just remember, before you write, type or say anything to someone which could be interpreted in anyway to be insulting, hurtful, no matter how mild, it could effect someone in a way you don't even realise!

I used to REALLY let it get to me, and I would get really upset

However, it happened so often I actually started getting used to it!

I realised that the majority of the kids were just messing on, and truly didn't mean anything by it. Of course there were the real evil kids who meant every word

Hey Edgy, I too have had to put up with being bullied since I started school, and was always left till last to get picked for things. And I was also consdered as enthusiastic to learn and stuff, and I think all this verbal abuse made me the quiet person I am today. I had it for a year or two also when I came to Secondry School, but I was pretty used to it, had heard it all before and didn't let it get to me.
It used to really get to me at a younger age, and I think it's a real reason as to why I really hated school!
But I haven't had it for a few years now, and I now stand up to ANYONE who does!

Good post, and I also think gaming helped me through it, and also got more people to like and accept me!

Well i was bullied but also did a bit of bullying myself which i aint proud of but now i'm friends with both the bullies and the victims of my bullying.

it's funny how people sunderly change when you leave school.

the bullying i got was mainly name calling like calling me Martin Cloones Grrrrrrrrrrrrr and Mr pink from resvoir dogs (as aparently i look like the actor he was also in con air i forget his name)

But anyway as nothing really offends me it didn't bother me so they soon found another tactic, also cause some of my mates were quite hard helped to :)

Now my little sis is at school i always make sure that she doesn't get bullied and she deals with it her own way when they do try to (WWF style i might add LOL)

Edgy i know how you feel. When i was in yrs 7-9 there were some times that were so bad i actually thought about killing myself, but now in year 10 for some reason it has changed. I dunno if its because i'm used to it or something but the 5-6 people in the class who still 'diss' me don't seem to affect me any more. I also find that if i'm with my friends and none of the offenders is around then everything is fine but if one of the ******** turns up everyone starts giving me grief. Does anyone else have this problem?

For anyone else out there who is being bullied i have some advise for you:
1. Try to see the funny side. I know it sounds stupid but if you can laugh along with them it doesn't seem as bad.
2. Just remember that whoever is bullying you is a dumb@ss and will die alone and friendless, on the streets, probably clutching a bottle. You will always have the last laugh.
3. Finally, if you are 'hard' then beat the fudge out of them. This will not only gain you their respect but also the respect of everyone else in the class. If you are not 'hard' then get 'hard' by doing boxing or something - I know it seems hard to believe but there is actually a world outside of your (insert name of room where computer is kept), so why don't you go out and sample it?

Oh yeah one more thing, if none of the above work then buy Serious Sam 2 (or some other game involving lots of mindless violence) and vent your anger on a few hundred aliens.

~Resurection~ wrote:
calling me Martin Cloones
> Grrrrrrrrrrrrr and Mr pink from resvoir dogs (as aparently i look like the actor
> he was also in con air i forget his name)

------------

Steve Buscemi, he rules

And I feel sorry for you if you look like those two! No offence!

Man, hope you get GAD for this topic, it's deeeep man. Yup, I amit it, I'm a gamer, never open my curtains,(so what) but I was never bullied. Okay, all you have to do is learn martial arts and kick those guys ......But maybe, violence isn't the solution after all they only bully you cause they try and impress others. Give abuse back and they'll be shocked. Who cares what others think, I don't but have plenty of mates. Maybe it's just a bad area or summit.

yeah, he's right, learn martial arts and kick some @ss. it gives a good feeling, but you have to convince yourself that you're solid, mind you, who cares if they're bullies, you'll be the one with the mates and birds and cars later on while they're neds on the streets.

Yes I was Bullied the way I got over it was I sat beside my bully in class and when the teacher was not looking he would slap me on the back off the head.I would think to myself that it didn't hurt me and pay no attenion to him and talk to my friend on the other side off me and he would stop but the funny thing is everyone grow during the summer but he didn't and now everyone laughs because if he talks out of turn SMACK! someone would hit him.

Edgy next time anyone bullies you, bring your axe.

Stupid bully people. It's ok saying you should stand up to them, but back when I was at school, someone tried that and spent two weeks in hospital after being hit repeatedly by a chair. The person who did it was suspended for about 4 weeks, then went back as if nothing ever happened.

Damn bullies, I've seen what they can do to some people, and it's not good. Makes you wonder about human nature sometimes.