Viewing Thread:
"I was bullied"

Ever since primary school I have been bullied. Not physically, I've never been hit, kicked, or threatened by any high degree of violence. Just mental and verbal bullying. Some say it's the worst kind.

So what actually happened?

Well, I've always been considered as the sensible one. The person who seems mature for my age group. Also the one who used to be enthusiastic about learning in primary school. I was always first to put up my hand when the teacher asked a question, always one of the first to complete my work, always the one who'd be first to line up to go back to the classroom at the end of break times.

So ofcourse you can probably understand what came out of it. Lots of verbal diahorrea about being weak, teachers pet, and stuff like that. I don't really want to go into too much detail about what they said because: 1. I don't like mentioning them and 2. I've put a mental block on that kinda thing.

To be honest I don't see what's wrong with any of the above. The whole point in going to school is to learn. And what's the point in causing complications? Of course I didn't want the breaks to end, but I'd rather things ran smoothly than be kept behind for any reason.

Anyway, it's not just verbal bullying I've had to put up since I was 5, I've had to put up with exclusion. You know how when certain people get left out or picked for teams in sports last, no matter what their abilities are like? That can be quite hurtful, and believe me, I know after putting up with twelve years of it.

And again, it's not just exclusion from sports. No matter how much I've tried to fit in, I've only ever had a few friends I can actually call "good friends". I've always been in small groups of friends, those few that would put up with me. Most probably wouldn't stick up for me if I needed it, they'd just walk away if anything happened to me.

So why else is it that I'm left alone like this? Is it my polite manner? Is it because I'd rather be friends with people than enemies? Because I don't spit everywhere, smoke, drink, take drugs, and take part in illegal activities? Is it because I'm not interested in pop-bands or how Geri Halliwell looks now she's got her own yoga video? Is it because I'm a huge fan of videogaming? Gamers are still associated with computer nerds who stay up all night and day in a small dark room with their computer monitor being their only source of light, speaking to jackass592 on AOL whilst downloading pictures of obscene behaviour with a carrot and bubblebath.

Since I've moved to Cardiff, I've still had to put up with it. For the first few years of high school, I tried to fit in, and from day 1, people commented on my accent! Not in a friendly, having a laugh kinda way, but an annoying aggressive kind of way which again is hurtful!

During the last couple of years, I've managed to make friends with someone who has also had similar problems because of the way he looks. There's nothing wrong with him at all, and I can't see why people are so hurtful towards him. All that's different is he hasn't got any pigment in his hair or skin. So he's paler and has very light blonde hair. He can't help it, if he could've chosen differently he would have, but people just exclude him and call him stupid names involving Ice-cream because of it.

Infact, someone who I thought was a friend years ago now keeps saying "Why do you hang round with White Boy all the time, you should be hanging round with us." to which I reply "Shut up. I'd rather hang round with elmo from Sesame Street than hang round with someone who makes fun of my friends!"

You could say that it's dying down now. I still get the social exclusion because of my personality, and because of my choice of best friend. I have learnt to stick up for myself, but it isn't easy and no one should have to do it. It's not easy on me, my friend, or anyone else who has been bullied in such a way. It's easy to hit people, or to call them something back, but you don't achieve anything by it. They do it all the more because they know they'll get a reaction.

Most of the time, I've managed to hide my pain, my feelings of hurt and anger towards people. That's the kind of person I am. I control my emotions. And to be honest, this is the first time I've gone into this much detail about it to anyone.

Again, as I said about my illnesses, gaming has pulled me through it all. If I didn't have that much or a destraction, I probably would have lost my sense of individuality and have started lashing out on people in school for no reasons at all. Gaming allows me to take my frustration out on bunches of pixels which look like aliens and people, instead of doing it in real life.

So just remember, before you write, type or say anything to someone which could be interpreted in anyway to be insulting, hurtful, no matter how mild, it could effect someone in a way you don't even realise!

pop ----

I feel it's worth keeping this topic alive for a little longer anyway...

Whoops,sorry about the double post....

Say as much as you like. That's what this topic is for. It is good that you feel able to share your experiences on here.

I suppose it does get difficult, being 18 and still facing bullies.

I know this may sound a little drastic, but have you ever thought of getting the law involved. Not the police, but a solicitor? If you can prove that some people are still doing things to you, bullying you, you can actually claim compensation from them.

However, this could cost you money in the first place so you'd need to put a lot of thought into deciding.


I, luckily, haven't had to worry about my weight. For some reason, it doesn't matter how much I eat, I don't put on much weight and don't get noticably bigger. However, I do have a couple friends who are bigger than others, and they do get the odd comment.

Again, it is great you felt able to say all this. It can't be easy being tormented by younger people, I know what it's like to put up with the younger ones. People who know my brother always seem to comment when they walk past me, usually it's "Oh look, it's Edgy's brother", to which I reply, "I am Edgy". They often don't know what to say, but I wish they'd say nothing at all!

Say as much as you like. That's what this topic is for. It is good that you feel able to share your experiences on here.

I suppose it does get difficult, being 18 and still facing bullies.

I know this may sound a little drastic, but have you ever thought of getting the law involved. Not the police, but a solicitor? If you can prove that some people are still doing things to you, bullying you, you can actually claim compensation from them.

However, this could cost you money in the first place so you'd need to put a lot of thought into deciding.


I, luckily, haven't had to worry about my weight. For some reason, it doesn't matter how much I eat, I don't put on much weight and don't get noticably bigger. However, I do have a couple friends who are bigger than others, and they do get the odd comment.

Again, it is great you felt able to say all this. It can't be easy being tormented by younger people, I know what it's like to put up with the younger ones. People who know my brother always seem to comment when they walk past me, usually it's "Oh look, it's Edgy's brother", to which I reply, "I am Edgy". They often don't know what to say, but I wish they'd say nothing at all!

Cheers Edgy for saying that and I hope you dont mind if I share my Experience.

During school I used to be fat so people took the mick out of me for that but after primary school that died down for a bit.

During middle school it got worse people picked on me just because they had no one else to pick on and they knew I used to be fat in primary school, then they started insulting my cousin and when I stuck up for her I was beaten up.

After I left for high school it died down until the bullies came up when I was in year 11, this was the problem. The people who were bullying me were younger so in turn this made me look weak, if I retaliated i was told off and even suspended for hitting the "new" pupils who I should be setting an example to they started taking the mick out of me because of my weight (which I could never understand) and my face.

this carried on into the sixth form despite the fact I was going to the gym on a regular basis and was building up my muscles people took the mick out of me because of my face they said I had a really flat face like my cousin supposedly (not meant to be offensive) which I dont.

Now I have finished school has the bullying stopped? yes to an extent but because I live in a small suffolk town everyone knows everyone else so it spread even more thing is I cant do anything. If I attack anyone I would get done for assault as I am 18 and in full time employment.

I work in a supermarket in a nearby town where most of these people shop so there is not really much escaping it at work either. however because I ignore it it has mainly died down only a few people make fun of me mainly because I won two school presentation A level and GCSE full achievment awards (hence the tagline). These awards were because I was written off as a no hoper not to pass GCSE's which I did (award 1) and my GCSE grades were modest and people thought I would drop out of A levels but I persevered and got a uni place for sept just (award 2). People say I did rubbish and only just passed and that I demanded an award to "look Good" these were the same people who bullied me as before. (they even tried to trip me up when I walked past to get my award).

The reason I suffered a lot with bullies was because I never had many friends. The one best friend I had in primary school had to move away because his dad was a vicar. Another friend and I just grew apart and he eventually moved away, another friend sided with the bullies

In High school I had two friends one had been bullied too and another was new just moved from manchester I think he moved back as his parents got homesick. The other was excluded for beating on a bully and breaking his jaw then trying to slit his throat (he was arrested and I havent seen him since tho he's not in jail)

Now I hang around with the people from sixth form they are all great and usually tell the people who pester me where to shove it nowadays but alas most of them have gone to uni bar two who I hang around with all the time, and who I go to the gym with

sorry for rambling

'coy

Human nature is the one thing in this world that I truly despise. No matter how hard you try to get through to these people that mocking and hurling abuse at people is not funny, not clever and not "hard", they'll just keep on doing it, regardless of how they're making their victims feel emotionally.

And despite Edgy's (much appreciated) efforts to stick up for me when I'm too tired and p***ed off to do it myself, his efforts are futile....because there's always someone out there who will take pleasure and pride in being able to make other people's lives a misery.

I myself have experienced the feeling of wanting to commit suicide, and I can tell you right here and right now that it is the most downright horrible emotion that I have ever been subject to. And I just want to say this:

One day these people, who make mine or anybody else's lives a living hell, will know for themselves what it's like to be tormented whenever they step out the front door. And when it happens to them, I'm going to be there lapping up the looks on their faces. :(

Thanks for that.

I have neer resorted to violence to sort anything out. I have been tempted though. There are some people that you can't just walk past without feeling a degree of hatred towards them for things they have done.

Now that I am in the 6th form, most people's attitudes towards me have changed, if only a little. But, I still feel like I am being insulted when my friend Mark has really horrible comments shouted to him, mostly by lower school kids, but occasionally Andrew Moore who I've already mentioned plus a few others have mentioned things behind Mark's back, thinking it's funny.

I feel stronger about my abilities to be able to stand up for others than I do about standing up for myself. I have been made to feel weak about myself by the bullies. Made to feel I have no power to fight back for myself. But I do admit that has strengthened me in other ways.

When I was younger, I did consider suicide myself, I'd lie there in bed and just cry it all out. But I managed to cope through it all and become the person I am today.

I have become stronger at standing for what I believe in. That I do know. I will argue my case til the bitter end if I have to. But my willpower has also risen. I feel I could fight the bullies now if I needed to, no matter what could happen. However I have also had my morals strengthened. Even though I could physically, I have never mentally been able to just go out and hurt someone whether that be physically or mentally. I just can't do it. When I'm of sound mind I just back out of things if I have to to stop violence.

I'm more of a democrat. A thinker. I'd rather talk things over. Not that you can with bullies. But my general manner is that if I'm in an argument, I'll talk with my mind, not with my fists.

I understand how you must've felt when you picked up that bar. If I had been pushed that far over the limit, I would probably have done similar, without even thinking of the consequences.

I am almost pushed over the limit in school. When I'm with my friend Mark, and abuse is hurled at him from the mouths of pre-pubescant gangs of high-voiced boys, I feel like taking them all on, single handedly, just to show them how 'hard' they really are. But I can never get myself to do it. I think too hard about the situation at hand, which you could say is a good thing, but that never seems to solve anything.

If worse comes to wear, I will fight for my friend. I hate having to hear the insults flying. No one can help the way they genetically look. Hell, I've even got a big nose, but my friend sticks out in a crowd and he can't help it, so people have a go at him. One thing I can not do is leave him to face up to it all on his own. I'd rather be there when it happens, and to help him get through it because I've been through very similar most my life.

It goes the same for all my friends. If any of them got picked on, I'd do my best for them.

Edgy wrote:
"And, despite the argument I had with Grix, I'd like to think him for encouraging me to type about this."

Really, no problem. I don't think more of you just because you were bullied, I think more of you because you can write about it on here. It's a great achievement to do something like that.

For the longest time, I was bullied too, just like you. I'm a skinny runt, and I've never really been able to stick up for myself, mentally or otherwise.

One day, however, with the thought of me dying still plaguing my mind, I got called names while trying to play a game of cards.

I called him names back, I think I threw my cards at him. Not much, just me getting fed up with this guy.

So he grabs me to the floor, and tries to break my arm... and seriously, I'm not kidding here, he nearly does. He flattens me to the floor, brings my arm up and behind me, and pushes it up towards my head. It hurts like hell, and what hurt more was everyone doing little more than sitting around and laughing.

And I think that's the point when I snapped.

He let me go, and I didn't say a word. I simply brushed myself down as the laughter echoed once more though the class, and the boy sat back down again and played cards.

There was a metal bar next to a bookcase... not so much a bar, more like a structure, I still have no idea where it came from, or why it was there.

I picked it up, and through the calls of "go on, smack him one!", I walked towards the table and swung the bar at the boys head as hard as I could.

I am convinced that if it wasn't then suddenly for the quick maturity of everyone else in the room, I would have killed that boy. It wasn't because I hit him hard... but the shock, the utter shock of me actually doing something would have paralysed him for the next ten or so minutes.

The boy wasn't hurt badly... his ego more than anything. Word of it spread around school, and people mostly avoided me from then on. :0)

It's pretty hard to admit, as you could imagine. It's nice to get it off my chest though... I don't feel bad about it in anyway whatsoever. I even joke about it now to the boy, who's calmed down a lot, and he even laughs and jokes with me.

All the same, it was only through loss of morals that it came to be, I wouldn't even dream of hurting anyone now... maturity wise, and though the simple thought of "who cares."

I, however, do not encourage you to take up violence to solve your problems. Believe me, your problems become a lot more than the sum of their parts when you really need them, and you can develop a mind greater than anyone else. Just don't give up.

i know how you feel Edgy i went through the same except i was physiccl bullied at primary a few times.I feel games and music really help,i know those 2 things have really mademe feel better

pop ---------------- To Give Grix a chance of reading this.....