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"I was bullied"

Ever since primary school I have been bullied. Not physically, I've never been hit, kicked, or threatened by any high degree of violence. Just mental and verbal bullying. Some say it's the worst kind.

So what actually happened?

Well, I've always been considered as the sensible one. The person who seems mature for my age group. Also the one who used to be enthusiastic about learning in primary school. I was always first to put up my hand when the teacher asked a question, always one of the first to complete my work, always the one who'd be first to line up to go back to the classroom at the end of break times.

So ofcourse you can probably understand what came out of it. Lots of verbal diahorrea about being weak, teachers pet, and stuff like that. I don't really want to go into too much detail about what they said because: 1. I don't like mentioning them and 2. I've put a mental block on that kinda thing.

To be honest I don't see what's wrong with any of the above. The whole point in going to school is to learn. And what's the point in causing complications? Of course I didn't want the breaks to end, but I'd rather things ran smoothly than be kept behind for any reason.

Anyway, it's not just verbal bullying I've had to put up since I was 5, I've had to put up with exclusion. You know how when certain people get left out or picked for teams in sports last, no matter what their abilities are like? That can be quite hurtful, and believe me, I know after putting up with twelve years of it.

And again, it's not just exclusion from sports. No matter how much I've tried to fit in, I've only ever had a few friends I can actually call "good friends". I've always been in small groups of friends, those few that would put up with me. Most probably wouldn't stick up for me if I needed it, they'd just walk away if anything happened to me.

So why else is it that I'm left alone like this? Is it my polite manner? Is it because I'd rather be friends with people than enemies? Because I don't spit everywhere, smoke, drink, take drugs, and take part in illegal activities? Is it because I'm not interested in pop-bands or how Geri Halliwell looks now she's got her own yoga video? Is it because I'm a huge fan of videogaming? Gamers are still associated with computer nerds who stay up all night and day in a small dark room with their computer monitor being their only source of light, speaking to jackass592 on AOL whilst downloading pictures of obscene behaviour with a carrot and bubblebath.

Since I've moved to Cardiff, I've still had to put up with it. For the first few years of high school, I tried to fit in, and from day 1, people commented on my accent! Not in a friendly, having a laugh kinda way, but an annoying aggressive kind of way which again is hurtful!

During the last couple of years, I've managed to make friends with someone who has also had similar problems because of the way he looks. There's nothing wrong with him at all, and I can't see why people are so hurtful towards him. All that's different is he hasn't got any pigment in his hair or skin. So he's paler and has very light blonde hair. He can't help it, if he could've chosen differently he would have, but people just exclude him and call him stupid names involving Ice-cream because of it.

Infact, someone who I thought was a friend years ago now keeps saying "Why do you hang round with White Boy all the time, you should be hanging round with us." to which I reply "Shut up. I'd rather hang round with elmo from Sesame Street than hang round with someone who makes fun of my friends!"

You could say that it's dying down now. I still get the social exclusion because of my personality, and because of my choice of best friend. I have learnt to stick up for myself, but it isn't easy and no one should have to do it. It's not easy on me, my friend, or anyone else who has been bullied in such a way. It's easy to hit people, or to call them something back, but you don't achieve anything by it. They do it all the more because they know they'll get a reaction.

Most of the time, I've managed to hide my pain, my feelings of hurt and anger towards people. That's the kind of person I am. I control my emotions. And to be honest, this is the first time I've gone into this much detail about it to anyone.

Again, as I said about my illnesses, gaming has pulled me through it all. If I didn't have that much or a destraction, I probably would have lost my sense of individuality and have started lashing out on people in school for no reasons at all. Gaming allows me to take my frustration out on bunches of pixels which look like aliens and people, instead of doing it in real life.

So just remember, before you write, type or say anything to someone which could be interpreted in anyway to be insulting, hurtful, no matter how mild, it could effect someone in a way you don't even realise!

Hmmmmm.....

Maybe you should have asked your friend before you revealed his problems to the entire Gameaday community?

Only joking, Edgy. A very deep and meaningful message.

I have to say that videogaming does offer some excellent diversion from the stresses and worries of life (Quake III Arena does it best for me!), which is why I worship and pray to my Mega Drive, Dreamcast and Game Boy Advance every Sunday lunchtime.

So are you gonna reveal to us who your friend is?

By the way Edgy.......

You're great. :)

bullys are really stupid, because I got bullied once and he was three times bigger he punch me in the belly I fell to the ground then he did a wrestering move "oh my god not a power" he was so strong I tried to get up and everyone shouting come on u can beat him then I thought why not I got nothing to lose but only one problem I do I get up when my back has lost it feeling.

Now here come the part I knock him out {I was still on the ground and he pick me up and tried to do the power bomb again this time I punched him in the right eyes, it fazed and I grab his head and push it to the ground as he did the power bomb. after that I was sent to the hostpital because he damged my ribs.

btw: the friend I mentioned in theis topic's original message has actually replied. See if you can guess which member it is (he gave me permission to do this).

Hey Fish-e.....

How do you know who I am? Edgy (and you, for that matter) says that you were in the same school as us.....but I don't remember you...sorry.

(By the way, it's me who Edgy is talking about, in case any of you hadn't already guessed).

Edgy wrote:
> btw: the friend I mentioned in theis topic's original message has actually
> replied. See if you can guess which member it is (he gave me permission to do
> this).

Was it ~Resurection~?

ok maybe not then

I know you Dark Mark, your from N64/NGC magazine.

So there you go. The truth about Dark Mark is revealed. Turns out I'm not so "dark" after all. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Unlucky Edgy.

Luckily enough, I've never actually been bullied much in any way.

Sorry to hear about you and you're friend though.

At least you have us here. :D

I seriously hope, Dringo, that you don't actually believe that I am the actual Dark Mark (the evil alter-ego of Mark Green) from N64 / NGC Magazine?!?!?!

Cos I'm not, ok?

I'm much, much worse.