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A Sunday afternoon spent waiting in a computer store for the simian to work the till out.
And me and my mate spent the drive home ranting about how most people shouldn’t be allowed out and we came to the following conclusions:
As a scientist, he will forgo his endless quest for superpowers by mixing chemicals and falling into vats of bubbling stuff and now intends to create a formula that will eliminate stupid people.
You have nothing to fear unless you fall into the following categories:
You migrate to DIY stores for “things for the house” on a Sunday, and spend 20 minutes looking at curtain rods going “ooh nice”
You name your house, despite living on an estate somewhere you still put a plaque up that says “Little Cottage” and insist your mail is addressed just so.
You put neo-classical roman columns outside your semi-detached house with a name
You have stained glass windows, those little round ones with a bird in the middle.
You drive a Fiesta/Uno/Nova and think by removing the name badge, blacking the windows out and having neon on it, you are cool and sexy.
You listen to those in-car CDs that only seem to have buzzing bass and 180bpm drum machines on, and you leave the door open whilst you stand with your chimp mates in a car-park of a fast food restaurant.
You have a squat dangerous dog called “Savage” or “Vinnie Jones” that you let wobble out your estate after dark, then spend 20 mins standing on your doorstep at 11pm shouting it’s name and kicking it when it runs past you with a limb in it’s mouth.
Your idea of eating out is going to a place where they have pictures of the food on the menu and it’s coated in easy-wipe plastic.
---
There are more categories, but I forgot them already.
And me and my mate spent the drive home ranting about how most people shouldn’t be allowed out and we came to the following conclusions:
As a scientist, he will forgo his endless quest for superpowers by mixing chemicals and falling into vats of bubbling stuff and now intends to create a formula that will eliminate stupid people.
You have nothing to fear unless you fall into the following categories:
You migrate to DIY stores for “things for the house” on a Sunday, and spend 20 minutes looking at curtain rods going “ooh nice”
You name your house, despite living on an estate somewhere you still put a plaque up that says “Little Cottage” and insist your mail is addressed just so.
You put neo-classical roman columns outside your semi-detached house with a name
You have stained glass windows, those little round ones with a bird in the middle.
You drive a Fiesta/Uno/Nova and think by removing the name badge, blacking the windows out and having neon on it, you are cool and sexy.
You listen to those in-car CDs that only seem to have buzzing bass and 180bpm drum machines on, and you leave the door open whilst you stand with your chimp mates in a car-park of a fast food restaurant.
You have a squat dangerous dog called “Savage” or “Vinnie Jones” that you let wobble out your estate after dark, then spend 20 mins standing on your doorstep at 11pm shouting it’s name and kicking it when it runs past you with a limb in it’s mouth.
Your idea of eating out is going to a place where they have pictures of the food on the menu and it’s coated in easy-wipe plastic.
---
There are more categories, but I forgot them already.
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Oi!
This was a harmonious den of man before you entered and started pitting us against each other.
This was a harmonious den of man before you entered and started pitting us against each other.
Yeah, Goatboy called us that, but he's one of the lads, and he'll smash us wiv stick too...............
He is also a big johnnie filled with walnuts, I still find that amusing...... :D
He is also a big johnnie filled with walnuts, I still find that amusing...... :D
Tallulah wrote:
Btw, you lot, did you notice that he called you all neophyte muppets?
> Thats not a very nice thing to say.
It's a sign of affection.
You really DON'T understand men, do you?
Btw, you lot, did you notice that he called you all neophyte muppets?
> Thats not a very nice thing to say.
It's a sign of affection.
You really DON'T understand men, do you?
Goatboy wrote:
> Stop being rude to Tallulah you nasty brutes.
Don't make me get territorial
> on your monkey-asses
Oi, Mister Man, I can fight my own battles thanx. But feel free to kick their a*ses if it'll make you feel better.
Btw, you lot, did you notice that he called you all neophyte muppets? Thats not a very nice thing to say.
"FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!"
> Stop being rude to Tallulah you nasty brutes.
Don't make me get territorial
> on your monkey-asses
Oi, Mister Man, I can fight my own battles thanx. But feel free to kick their a*ses if it'll make you feel better.
Btw, you lot, did you notice that he called you all neophyte muppets? Thats not a very nice thing to say.
"FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT!"
Tallulah wrote:
Eff off, Im priceless. A rare & beautiful treasure,
> whose modesty is her best attribute.
Women are all modest, I know this..............
They all play down their ability to spend more time in shops than two football matches back to back..........
Eff off, Im priceless. A rare & beautiful treasure,
> whose modesty is her best attribute.
Women are all modest, I know this..............
They all play down their ability to spend more time in shops than two football matches back to back..........
Tallulah wrote:
Christ, Im cacking
> myself. I'd rather be left on the shelf than have a fella stay with me cos of
> my sewing/darning/knitting capabilities.
Yeah, but wouldn't you get fed up just keeping the shelf clean all the time?? Think of the dust, how will you cope?? Oh, wait a minute, all you would do is clean at home anyway, sorry, it must suck being a woman......
:D
Christ, Im cacking
> myself. I'd rather be left on the shelf than have a fella stay with me cos of
> my sewing/darning/knitting capabilities.
Yeah, but wouldn't you get fed up just keeping the shelf clean all the time?? Think of the dust, how will you cope?? Oh, wait a minute, all you would do is clean at home anyway, sorry, it must suck being a woman......
:D
Bonus wrote:
> Anyone for a spare rib?? We have one left, can't cook, clean or sew, doesn't
> want kids and has little respect for men............
We'll start the bidding
> a ten dollar.........
You talking about me?
Eff off, Im priceless. A rare & beautiful treasure, whose modesty is her best attribute.
> Anyone for a spare rib?? We have one left, can't cook, clean or sew, doesn't
> want kids and has little respect for men............
We'll start the bidding
> a ten dollar.........
You talking about me?
Eff off, Im priceless. A rare & beautiful treasure, whose modesty is her best attribute.
Stop being rude to Tallulah you nasty brutes.
Don't make me get territorial on your monkey-asses
Don't make me get territorial on your monkey-asses
Meka Dragon wrote:
> Tallulah wrote:
.
Right - I have never knitted in my entire life. Or sewed.
> Or
> embroidered. Or darned.
You're in danger of being left on the
> shelf then luv. ;-)
Christ, Im cacking myself. I'd rather be left on the shelf than have a fella stay with me cos of my sewing/darning/knitting capabilities.
> Tallulah wrote:
.
Right - I have never knitted in my entire life. Or sewed.
> Or
> embroidered. Or darned.
You're in danger of being left on the
> shelf then luv. ;-)
Christ, Im cacking myself. I'd rather be left on the shelf than have a fella stay with me cos of my sewing/darning/knitting capabilities.
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