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1. You don’t need to do any work!
Don’t bother making any of your own games (well, maybe just a few), rely totally on 3rd party developers to push your console for you! And don’t forget to pay developers for exclusive rights!
2. Conform!
Conform to the expected social standards of society! Don’t try anything new or different, that will only confuse the half-wits who buy your console! Keep it a simple shape, in plain black. That’s cool don’t you know, and after all; it’s being cool that will sell your console, not your sub standard games! Make sure all the games revolve around shooting things with big guns, that’s what’s ‘cool’!
3. Have killer hype!
You don’t need truly great games, just pile on the hype! Your customers are too stupid to think for themselves, they’ll buy what you tell them to buy; it doesn’t matter if it’s a complete load of overrated crap! You can be sure your brain dead fans will spread the ‘X gam iz da best eva!’ message throughout the world.
4. Keep it familiar!
Remember, words like ‘innovative’ and ‘original’ are words you want to avoid! Make the design something familiar, household objects like a toaster or digital alarm clock are good designs to base yours on! Though it would be wise to add labels informing owners not to insert any bread into the disc drive.
5. Smother them!
Advertise on *everything*! It doesn’t matter that your adverts are terrible and make no sense! Just watch out with the slogans, ‘The Third Place’ may confuse the majority of your potential customers into thinking it has something to do with space or time, or maybe even big numbers!
6. It’s quantity that counts!
So you only have a handful of decent games, not a problem! Simply release 500 rubbish games alongside them, people will be so spoilt for sub rate choice, they’re sure to come flocking to buy your console!
7. Steal all your ideas!
Don’t worry about having to engage the old grey matter, your competitors will do it for you! So you’re entering the 3D realm, control is a bit iffy, but don’t fret! Sooner or later Nintendo will come along and add an analogue stick (as already seen many years before) to make 3D games’ controls precise and responsive! Then you can simply slap two on your own pad, and it will be miles better!
There’s plenty to look forward too as well, it won’t be long before you can swipe the rumble pak idea too! Oh and don’t forget four player games! Although you probably don’t want to bother with that, just make them pay for a multi-tap instead.
8. Quality? Pffftttt
Don’t worry about making your console out of decent materials, some second rate bodging should do the job nicely. After all, when it breaks your blind zealot fans will simply rush out to buy another of your over priced contraptions! And forget about how the disc drive breaks if you use it standing on it’s side, it’s irrelevant!
9. Don’t forget the rehash!
Don’t forget to rework your original design, and release exactly the same console with a different face right at the end of your consoles life! Most people will be far too stupid to realise, and will buy it thinking it’s the next gen version! Another financial success!
I expect to be called an idiot and for this to be called crap. Mainly because it is, but no more than the other one.
Don’t bother making any of your own games (well, maybe just a few), rely totally on 3rd party developers to push your console for you! And don’t forget to pay developers for exclusive rights!
2. Conform!
Conform to the expected social standards of society! Don’t try anything new or different, that will only confuse the half-wits who buy your console! Keep it a simple shape, in plain black. That’s cool don’t you know, and after all; it’s being cool that will sell your console, not your sub standard games! Make sure all the games revolve around shooting things with big guns, that’s what’s ‘cool’!
3. Have killer hype!
You don’t need truly great games, just pile on the hype! Your customers are too stupid to think for themselves, they’ll buy what you tell them to buy; it doesn’t matter if it’s a complete load of overrated crap! You can be sure your brain dead fans will spread the ‘X gam iz da best eva!’ message throughout the world.
4. Keep it familiar!
Remember, words like ‘innovative’ and ‘original’ are words you want to avoid! Make the design something familiar, household objects like a toaster or digital alarm clock are good designs to base yours on! Though it would be wise to add labels informing owners not to insert any bread into the disc drive.
5. Smother them!
Advertise on *everything*! It doesn’t matter that your adverts are terrible and make no sense! Just watch out with the slogans, ‘The Third Place’ may confuse the majority of your potential customers into thinking it has something to do with space or time, or maybe even big numbers!
6. It’s quantity that counts!
So you only have a handful of decent games, not a problem! Simply release 500 rubbish games alongside them, people will be so spoilt for sub rate choice, they’re sure to come flocking to buy your console!
7. Steal all your ideas!
Don’t worry about having to engage the old grey matter, your competitors will do it for you! So you’re entering the 3D realm, control is a bit iffy, but don’t fret! Sooner or later Nintendo will come along and add an analogue stick (as already seen many years before) to make 3D games’ controls precise and responsive! Then you can simply slap two on your own pad, and it will be miles better!
There’s plenty to look forward too as well, it won’t be long before you can swipe the rumble pak idea too! Oh and don’t forget four player games! Although you probably don’t want to bother with that, just make them pay for a multi-tap instead.
8. Quality? Pffftttt
Don’t worry about making your console out of decent materials, some second rate bodging should do the job nicely. After all, when it breaks your blind zealot fans will simply rush out to buy another of your over priced contraptions! And forget about how the disc drive breaks if you use it standing on it’s side, it’s irrelevant!
9. Don’t forget the rehash!
Don’t forget to rework your original design, and release exactly the same console with a different face right at the end of your consoles life! Most people will be far too stupid to realise, and will buy it thinking it’s the next gen version! Another financial success!
I expect to be called an idiot and for this to be called crap. Mainly because it is, but no more than the other one.
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i hate both slide in and tray loading drives, for console gaming at least top loading Disc drives are allways better as theres less to go wrong and they will outlast any tray loading drive as the only thing there is to really go wrong with them is the "open" button allthough that in its'elf is highly unlikely, the only other thing i can think of that might go wrong in a top-loading drive is if you were stupid enough to touch the laser or spill something inside it, meh, top loading rules anyday.
slik ~_~
slik ~_~
Game wrote:
> Rumour has it, the PS3 will look like a toaster!
>
> It'd be funny if it did...
>
> All I want is a slide-in DVD reader... none of this dated dvd-tray
> crap.
>
> Still... Tekken 5 anyone?
I don't like the cheap slide in dvd drives. Tray loading is much better.
> Rumour has it, the PS3 will look like a toaster!
>
> It'd be funny if it did...
>
> All I want is a slide-in DVD reader... none of this dated dvd-tray
> crap.
>
> Still... Tekken 5 anyone?
I don't like the cheap slide in dvd drives. Tray loading is much better.
Rumour has it, the PS3 will look like a toaster!
It'd be funny if it did...
All I want is a slide-in DVD reader... none of this dated dvd-tray crap.
Still... Tekken 5 anyone?
It'd be funny if it did...
All I want is a slide-in DVD reader... none of this dated dvd-tray crap.
Still... Tekken 5 anyone?
ReDdY²°°3 wrote:
> How about shape it as a 'P'?
>
> And 4 controller ports would be good.
Then it would be even more likely to break, as it will just tip over.
> How about shape it as a 'P'?
>
> And 4 controller ports would be good.
Then it would be even more likely to break, as it will just tip over.
phi11ip wrote:
> Fanboys, fanboys...
>
> Wasn't the Getaway an overrated pile of crap though?
>
> That's what I heard, and GTA is getting boring now...
I dont reckon I'll ever become bored of the GTA games, I still play the originals for the PS1. They are the only games that make me think my PS2 is worth keeping.
I agree that The Getaway was overrated, and also GTA: Vice City was way overhyped, which is why I reckon it hasn't been as successful as people thought it should have been.
They wanted too much and Rockstar understandably weren't able to deliver. But it is a fantastic game that has actually been damaged by the hype in my opinion.
> Fanboys, fanboys...
>
> Wasn't the Getaway an overrated pile of crap though?
>
> That's what I heard, and GTA is getting boring now...
I dont reckon I'll ever become bored of the GTA games, I still play the originals for the PS1. They are the only games that make me think my PS2 is worth keeping.
I agree that The Getaway was overrated, and also GTA: Vice City was way overhyped, which is why I reckon it hasn't been as successful as people thought it should have been.
They wanted too much and Rockstar understandably weren't able to deliver. But it is a fantastic game that has actually been damaged by the hype in my opinion.
How about shape it as a 'P'?
And 4 controller ports would be good.
And 4 controller ports would be good.
4 controller ports are needed, it's just a money making ploy at the moment, only have 2 ports so that people have to buy a multitap to play properly...
Make it bright orange!
Yay!
Make it bright orange!
Yay!
What don't you like about the PS2 "design"?
What would you like changed (idea's)?
What would you like changed (idea's)?
I thought Polyphonic was a 1st party Sony dev team?
Updated wrote:
> Sony do make games. For a start, there's GT3, The Getaway, Ratchet
> & Clank, and Jack & Daxter.
>
R&C = Insomniac Games
GT3 = Polyphony Digital
Jack & Daxter = Naughty Dog
Getaway = Sony Europe
So out of those four, Sony dev'd one. Bottom line is that, right or wrongly depending on your opinion, Sony generally don't dev there own games.
Another one dev'd by Sony (Sony Cambridge to be exact) = Primal
So a trend we see here is that when Sony do dev a game themselves, they tend take years and the finished product is not really as good as it should have or was expect to be. As is the case with both The Getaway and Primal.
Sony = Hardware and marketing
Good games = other people
> Sony do make games. For a start, there's GT3, The Getaway, Ratchet
> & Clank, and Jack & Daxter.
>
R&C = Insomniac Games
GT3 = Polyphony Digital
Jack & Daxter = Naughty Dog
Getaway = Sony Europe
So out of those four, Sony dev'd one. Bottom line is that, right or wrongly depending on your opinion, Sony generally don't dev there own games.
Another one dev'd by Sony (Sony Cambridge to be exact) = Primal
So a trend we see here is that when Sony do dev a game themselves, they tend take years and the finished product is not really as good as it should have or was expect to be. As is the case with both The Getaway and Primal.
Sony = Hardware and marketing
Good games = other people
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