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"Steve Irwin - Pointless compo, with NO prize."

What a top bloke he is.

"This is the most dangerous snake in the world, so I'm just gonna pick 'im by 'is tail and wave 'im about a bit.

Crikey!"


So, little compo for you, write the funniest Steve Irwin thing you can, eg:


"This is the most dangerous rotrweiler in the worold. He hasn't been fed in 6 months, so I'm just gonna tie this steak to me cods, wander in 'is cage and see what happens.

Crikey!"

I creep aimlessly around this supermarket stalking my prey......
I'm here now in the toy section trying not to look suspicious......
Look there it is high up on the shelves where no human can posibly reach....
I am now going to scale the shelves and coax it down....
Oh no I think I have stepped on an etch a sketch, but I have it in my hands...
Oh crikey! [Steve plunges off of the shelves and in to a stack of lego bricks]
Heres my new board game Crocodile Hunter buy it now before it gets snapped up.

Stop the truck, jim, look at this! It's a Funnel web spider. Just a drup of their venom can kill a human. I wondor what they taste like....

Crikey!

I wouldn't fancy me chances with that liddle fella

*Steve Irwin studying Great White Sharks in Bermuda*

" Theres a Great White, lets see if i can get... Ooooff..."

*Bizzare Aliens abducts him and stick him in a giant test tube*

Alien 1 - "Look what we have here... The dumbest Aussie in the world!"

Alien 2 - "lets stick this huge rectal probe up his @rse and see what happens? And then flick his nuts!!"

This croc is huge! You can tell by it's war woundds that he is the king of the nile.

Lets see what happens if I stick my thumb up his butt-hole...


Crikey!

This here is the most dangerous email in the world! It can destroy ya work network in a matter o' minutes.

So I'm jus' gonna forward it on to everyone I know, just to see what 'appens!

"These 'ere, are hungry flesh-eating Pirhanas. Now y'cant see 'em very well from there, so I'm gonna try and fish one out for ya"

T'days show is brought to you from Jurassic Park. This here, is a velociraptor....

The best one I've seen was where he was in a boat with all these crocodiles in the river around him.

One croc stated climbing into the boat, so he dived into the river where there was another 10+ crocs, I was in stitches!

Man, that bloke is a nutter, all credit to him though...

Shocktrooper wrote:
> "And 'ere I am, deep in the outback bush, face ta face with THE most
> deadliest snake in the WORLD! And he's right here now, watching me with those
> deadly accurate eyes of 'is, and he just happens to have the most deadly venom
> in the WORLD. He spits it with the MOST PRECISE accuracy - straight at yer eyes!
> So what I'm going to do, is grab him by the tail and try and see what colour
> eyes he's got..."

>Crikey - ME EYES!"

>:-D

Things is, he's actually done that. It wasn't the most deadly venom in the world, but he did get spat in they eyes by a venomous snake.

Actual quote:
"It's spittin' in my eyes. Will you look at that? It's spittin' in my eyes right now, it is."