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Do you live in one of Britain's 'worst' towns? Click onto the link at the bottom to nominate your own "crap town".
Welwyn Garden City - "I defy you to find one person smiling, or even anyone who isn't thinking 'Why am I here? Why am I here? Why am I here? Please someone kill me,' over and over again, then holding their breath until they pass out."
So goes one example of the thousands of nominations The Idler has received for inclusion on Britain's 'Crap Map' - a litany of dullness, bad architecture and general shame.
But do you live somewhere that has been nominated? Here's a selection of entries posted by members of the public:
Avonmouth - "This is the place that the cruel cashiers in the Severn Bridge toll booths send you to if you try and pay with a Switch card."
Batley - "A gothic, grimy, grindingly poor ghetto. Enough"
Bracknell - "This 'bustling' new town seems to have been designed to inflict the maximum cruelty on visitors and residents. A combination of violent drunken locals, the horrendous new town road system and a disgusting shopping centre combine to make this an essential place to visit and then leave again as the first available opportunity."
Crewe - "There is nothing in this bleak world to prepare the solitary soul as it enters Crewe for the first time."
Felixstowe - "Two types of people live in Felixstowe, the near dead and the brain dead."
Hayling Island - "Mostly populated by the over 70s, Hayling is the final destination of choice for wealthy people waiting to die."
Shepton Mallet - "Small, violent although rather quaint in parts. Features shootings, stabbings, an abnormally high percentage of Vauxhall Astras"
Walsall - "The filthy streets, the unwashed masses, the charming local accent that makes us sound as though we were born retarded and have been drinking turpentine every day since then... These are the best aspects of Walsall."
Don't think this compendium of misery is limited to England, people from all over the United Kingdom have made contributions:
Port Talbot, Wales - "A big steel works/refinery in the middle of a eerie sulphur infused lake surrounded by a few crumbling housing estates."
Ardossan, Scotland - "The single most depressingly dank place in the entire country"
Antrim, Northern Ireland - "Dilapidated council estates, more sportswear than Niketown Oxford Circus and 12 year old girls scary enough to make you want your mummy."
http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/ craptown/30_5/england.htm
Welwyn Garden City - "I defy you to find one person smiling, or even anyone who isn't thinking 'Why am I here? Why am I here? Why am I here? Please someone kill me,' over and over again, then holding their breath until they pass out."
So goes one example of the thousands of nominations The Idler has received for inclusion on Britain's 'Crap Map' - a litany of dullness, bad architecture and general shame.
But do you live somewhere that has been nominated? Here's a selection of entries posted by members of the public:
Avonmouth - "This is the place that the cruel cashiers in the Severn Bridge toll booths send you to if you try and pay with a Switch card."
Batley - "A gothic, grimy, grindingly poor ghetto. Enough"
Bracknell - "This 'bustling' new town seems to have been designed to inflict the maximum cruelty on visitors and residents. A combination of violent drunken locals, the horrendous new town road system and a disgusting shopping centre combine to make this an essential place to visit and then leave again as the first available opportunity."
Crewe - "There is nothing in this bleak world to prepare the solitary soul as it enters Crewe for the first time."
Felixstowe - "Two types of people live in Felixstowe, the near dead and the brain dead."
Hayling Island - "Mostly populated by the over 70s, Hayling is the final destination of choice for wealthy people waiting to die."
Shepton Mallet - "Small, violent although rather quaint in parts. Features shootings, stabbings, an abnormally high percentage of Vauxhall Astras"
Walsall - "The filthy streets, the unwashed masses, the charming local accent that makes us sound as though we were born retarded and have been drinking turpentine every day since then... These are the best aspects of Walsall."
Don't think this compendium of misery is limited to England, people from all over the United Kingdom have made contributions:
Port Talbot, Wales - "A big steel works/refinery in the middle of a eerie sulphur infused lake surrounded by a few crumbling housing estates."
Ardossan, Scotland - "The single most depressingly dank place in the entire country"
Antrim, Northern Ireland - "Dilapidated council estates, more sportswear than Niketown Oxford Circus and 12 year old girls scary enough to make you want your mummy."
http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/ craptown/30_5/england.htm
Page:
Atleast some of the towns have a history to look back on. Harlow was built post-WWII to house families after the baby-boom. It sucks. The only good thing about the town centre as the Watergardens (even if it was full of algae and dead fish), but they ripped that up to make way for another shopping centre!
Unbeliever wrote:
> Heh heh! In all fairness, I've been to Glasgow a few times and it's
> not that bad...but Govern is quite frightening.
---
Yeah, it's not that bad, but it's not exactly one of the nicest places to live either. I can live with the area I'm in though, as it's not even half as bad as some of the places I've seen nearby.
And yeah, Govan (which I think you mean) is a right state, and some of the people there really need to sort themselves out. Heh.
> Heh heh! In all fairness, I've been to Glasgow a few times and it's
> not that bad...but Govern is quite frightening.
---
Yeah, it's not that bad, but it's not exactly one of the nicest places to live either. I can live with the area I'm in though, as it's not even half as bad as some of the places I've seen nearby.
And yeah, Govan (which I think you mean) is a right state, and some of the people there really need to sort themselves out. Heh.
"Harlow bus station on a Sunday morning in November. Vacant acres of grey concrete. Drizzle. Piles of refuse swirling idly in the wind. A native listlessly dismantling a bus shelter. I only visited for about 30 minutes, 17 years ago, but the memory has stayed with me ever since. Without doubt, one of the most depressing moments of my life."
Yep.
Harlow is a vacuum of intelligence, culture, consonants and entertainment.
Aggressive, plastic cockneys and fat teenage mothers in tracksuit bottoms with the "Croydon Facelift", where the fringe is scraped back so tightly it lifts their pallid, dough face.
I want to get my mates and family out and napalm it.
For a week.
Yep.
Harlow is a vacuum of intelligence, culture, consonants and entertainment.
Aggressive, plastic cockneys and fat teenage mothers in tracksuit bottoms with the "Croydon Facelift", where the fringe is scraped back so tightly it lifts their pallid, dough face.
I want to get my mates and family out and napalm it.
For a week.
When driving through Harlow, make sure your windows are wound up tightly, otherwise you'll get someone pregnant.
I like the description of Glasgow:
If there is a more miserable, brutal, godforsaken shithole on the face of this planet, then the human race might as well let the ants take over now.
I can still recall the utter astonishment of the taxi driver I tipped last time I was there - he was clearly expecting to be robbed as usual.
The streets are paved with vomit, the inhabitants are as vicious as they are stupid, the weather is as vile as the architecture and the transport to civilisation, (i.e.Edinburgh) goes via Inverness.
Heh heh! In all fairness, I've been to Glasgow a few times and it's not that bad...but Govern is quite frightening.
If there is a more miserable, brutal, godforsaken shithole on the face of this planet, then the human race might as well let the ants take over now.
I can still recall the utter astonishment of the taxi driver I tipped last time I was there - he was clearly expecting to be robbed as usual.
The streets are paved with vomit, the inhabitants are as vicious as they are stupid, the weather is as vile as the architecture and the transport to civilisation, (i.e.Edinburgh) goes via Inverness.
Heh heh! In all fairness, I've been to Glasgow a few times and it's not that bad...but Govern is quite frightening.
I live in the official most boring town in England - Brentwood.
"Quote from a workmate: "If I lived here, I'd drive my car into a wall." A desert of buggies, Silk Cut and double denim, with solvent abuse the only escape."
Harlow down to a tee. Although bizarrely, someone seems to be defending it!
Harlow down to a tee. Although bizarrely, someone seems to be defending it!
Heh, Harlow is there, which is no big surprise really. It really is one of the crappiest towns in the country and it's going downhill everyday.
But the exclusion of Romford baffles me! Is it because it's got a Debenhams? Does that somehow make the thuggery there of a higher class than our Lidl-based thugger-lites? Harlow is getting a Debenhams too. They're putting one in that sodding great concrete mess they call a shopping centre. Just what this town needs - more places for the idle youth of today to defile!
But the exclusion of Romford baffles me! Is it because it's got a Debenhams? Does that somehow make the thuggery there of a higher class than our Lidl-based thugger-lites? Harlow is getting a Debenhams too. They're putting one in that sodding great concrete mess they call a shopping centre. Just what this town needs - more places for the idle youth of today to defile!
I used to live about 10 minutes away from Crewe...
Do you live in one of Britain's 'worst' towns? Click onto the link at the bottom to nominate your own "crap town".
Welwyn Garden City - "I defy you to find one person smiling, or even anyone who isn't thinking 'Why am I here? Why am I here? Why am I here? Please someone kill me,' over and over again, then holding their breath until they pass out."
So goes one example of the thousands of nominations The Idler has received for inclusion on Britain's 'Crap Map' - a litany of dullness, bad architecture and general shame.
But do you live somewhere that has been nominated? Here's a selection of entries posted by members of the public:
Avonmouth - "This is the place that the cruel cashiers in the Severn Bridge toll booths send you to if you try and pay with a Switch card."
Batley - "A gothic, grimy, grindingly poor ghetto. Enough"
Bracknell - "This 'bustling' new town seems to have been designed to inflict the maximum cruelty on visitors and residents. A combination of violent drunken locals, the horrendous new town road system and a disgusting shopping centre combine to make this an essential place to visit and then leave again as the first available opportunity."
Crewe - "There is nothing in this bleak world to prepare the solitary soul as it enters Crewe for the first time."
Felixstowe - "Two types of people live in Felixstowe, the near dead and the brain dead."
Hayling Island - "Mostly populated by the over 70s, Hayling is the final destination of choice for wealthy people waiting to die."
Shepton Mallet - "Small, violent although rather quaint in parts. Features shootings, stabbings, an abnormally high percentage of Vauxhall Astras"
Walsall - "The filthy streets, the unwashed masses, the charming local accent that makes us sound as though we were born retarded and have been drinking turpentine every day since then... These are the best aspects of Walsall."
Don't think this compendium of misery is limited to England, people from all over the United Kingdom have made contributions:
Port Talbot, Wales - "A big steel works/refinery in the middle of a eerie sulphur infused lake surrounded by a few crumbling housing estates."
Ardossan, Scotland - "The single most depressingly dank place in the entire country"
Antrim, Northern Ireland - "Dilapidated council estates, more sportswear than Niketown Oxford Circus and 12 year old girls scary enough to make you want your mummy."
http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/ craptown/30_5/england.htm
Welwyn Garden City - "I defy you to find one person smiling, or even anyone who isn't thinking 'Why am I here? Why am I here? Why am I here? Please someone kill me,' over and over again, then holding their breath until they pass out."
So goes one example of the thousands of nominations The Idler has received for inclusion on Britain's 'Crap Map' - a litany of dullness, bad architecture and general shame.
But do you live somewhere that has been nominated? Here's a selection of entries posted by members of the public:
Avonmouth - "This is the place that the cruel cashiers in the Severn Bridge toll booths send you to if you try and pay with a Switch card."
Batley - "A gothic, grimy, grindingly poor ghetto. Enough"
Bracknell - "This 'bustling' new town seems to have been designed to inflict the maximum cruelty on visitors and residents. A combination of violent drunken locals, the horrendous new town road system and a disgusting shopping centre combine to make this an essential place to visit and then leave again as the first available opportunity."
Crewe - "There is nothing in this bleak world to prepare the solitary soul as it enters Crewe for the first time."
Felixstowe - "Two types of people live in Felixstowe, the near dead and the brain dead."
Hayling Island - "Mostly populated by the over 70s, Hayling is the final destination of choice for wealthy people waiting to die."
Shepton Mallet - "Small, violent although rather quaint in parts. Features shootings, stabbings, an abnormally high percentage of Vauxhall Astras"
Walsall - "The filthy streets, the unwashed masses, the charming local accent that makes us sound as though we were born retarded and have been drinking turpentine every day since then... These are the best aspects of Walsall."
Don't think this compendium of misery is limited to England, people from all over the United Kingdom have made contributions:
Port Talbot, Wales - "A big steel works/refinery in the middle of a eerie sulphur infused lake surrounded by a few crumbling housing estates."
Ardossan, Scotland - "The single most depressingly dank place in the entire country"
Antrim, Northern Ireland - "Dilapidated council estates, more sportswear than Niketown Oxford Circus and 12 year old girls scary enough to make you want your mummy."
http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/ craptown/30_5/england.htm
Page: