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Do you live in one of Britain's 'worst' towns? Click onto the link at the bottom to nominate your own "crap town".
Welwyn Garden City - "I defy you to find one person smiling, or even anyone who isn't thinking 'Why am I here? Why am I here? Why am I here? Please someone kill me,' over and over again, then holding their breath until they pass out."
So goes one example of the thousands of nominations The Idler has received for inclusion on Britain's 'Crap Map' - a litany of dullness, bad architecture and general shame.
But do you live somewhere that has been nominated? Here's a selection of entries posted by members of the public:
Avonmouth - "This is the place that the cruel cashiers in the Severn Bridge toll booths send you to if you try and pay with a Switch card."
Batley - "A gothic, grimy, grindingly poor ghetto. Enough"
Bracknell - "This 'bustling' new town seems to have been designed to inflict the maximum cruelty on visitors and residents. A combination of violent drunken locals, the horrendous new town road system and a disgusting shopping centre combine to make this an essential place to visit and then leave again as the first available opportunity."
Crewe - "There is nothing in this bleak world to prepare the solitary soul as it enters Crewe for the first time."
Felixstowe - "Two types of people live in Felixstowe, the near dead and the brain dead."
Hayling Island - "Mostly populated by the over 70s, Hayling is the final destination of choice for wealthy people waiting to die."
Shepton Mallet - "Small, violent although rather quaint in parts. Features shootings, stabbings, an abnormally high percentage of Vauxhall Astras"
Walsall - "The filthy streets, the unwashed masses, the charming local accent that makes us sound as though we were born retarded and have been drinking turpentine every day since then... These are the best aspects of Walsall."
Don't think this compendium of misery is limited to England, people from all over the United Kingdom have made contributions:
Port Talbot, Wales - "A big steel works/refinery in the middle of a eerie sulphur infused lake surrounded by a few crumbling housing estates."
Ardossan, Scotland - "The single most depressingly dank place in the entire country"
Antrim, Northern Ireland - "Dilapidated council estates, more sportswear than Niketown Oxford Circus and 12 year old girls scary enough to make you want your mummy."
http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/ craptown/30_5/england.htm
Welwyn Garden City - "I defy you to find one person smiling, or even anyone who isn't thinking 'Why am I here? Why am I here? Why am I here? Please someone kill me,' over and over again, then holding their breath until they pass out."
So goes one example of the thousands of nominations The Idler has received for inclusion on Britain's 'Crap Map' - a litany of dullness, bad architecture and general shame.
But do you live somewhere that has been nominated? Here's a selection of entries posted by members of the public:
Avonmouth - "This is the place that the cruel cashiers in the Severn Bridge toll booths send you to if you try and pay with a Switch card."
Batley - "A gothic, grimy, grindingly poor ghetto. Enough"
Bracknell - "This 'bustling' new town seems to have been designed to inflict the maximum cruelty on visitors and residents. A combination of violent drunken locals, the horrendous new town road system and a disgusting shopping centre combine to make this an essential place to visit and then leave again as the first available opportunity."
Crewe - "There is nothing in this bleak world to prepare the solitary soul as it enters Crewe for the first time."
Felixstowe - "Two types of people live in Felixstowe, the near dead and the brain dead."
Hayling Island - "Mostly populated by the over 70s, Hayling is the final destination of choice for wealthy people waiting to die."
Shepton Mallet - "Small, violent although rather quaint in parts. Features shootings, stabbings, an abnormally high percentage of Vauxhall Astras"
Walsall - "The filthy streets, the unwashed masses, the charming local accent that makes us sound as though we were born retarded and have been drinking turpentine every day since then... These are the best aspects of Walsall."
Don't think this compendium of misery is limited to England, people from all over the United Kingdom have made contributions:
Port Talbot, Wales - "A big steel works/refinery in the middle of a eerie sulphur infused lake surrounded by a few crumbling housing estates."
Ardossan, Scotland - "The single most depressingly dank place in the entire country"
Antrim, Northern Ireland - "Dilapidated council estates, more sportswear than Niketown Oxford Circus and 12 year old girls scary enough to make you want your mummy."
http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/ craptown/30_5/england.htm
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Heh heh. This is so fun.
Everyone in Harlow is already a 'crip'.
Maybe we could start a campaign to have Harlow made into a ghetto. We could all stand outside Lidl and Maccie D’s with signs.
Random Hero wrote:
> This is off topic, but Goatboy and Mr.Snuggly have you ever seen ‘Best
> In Show’?
Yep, I already have it. But I still hate Harlow and pray for the day the infected come and eat all the inhabitants.
> This is off topic, but Goatboy and Mr.Snuggly have you ever seen ‘Best
> In Show’?
Yep, I already have it. But I still hate Harlow and pray for the day the infected come and eat all the inhabitants.
SHEEPY wrote:
> We always lock the car doors when we pass through Govan
We also reinforce the windows with titanium alloy.
> We always lock the car doors when we pass through Govan
We also reinforce the windows with titanium alloy.
Antrim isn't •that• bad.
Or a baseball cap to blend in
YAAAAAASSSS gonnae malky ye ya bas
We always lock the car doors when we pass through Govan
YAAAAAASSSS gonnae malky ye ya bas
We always lock the car doors when we pass through Govan
AfroJoe wrote:
> And yeah, Govan (which I think you mean) is a right state, and some of
> the people there really need to sort themselves out. Heh.
yeah, you dont want to go into Govan without a baseball bat.
> And yeah, Govan (which I think you mean) is a right state, and some of
> the people there really need to sort themselves out. Heh.
yeah, you dont want to go into Govan without a baseball bat.
I can't believe East Kilbride isn't there... I'll need to send an e-mail.
Ardrossan... ha. The person is correct, the only purpose is to get a ferry to Arran.
Glasgow is a nice city... sure it has it's dreadful areas such as Govan but the City Centre is great and full of culture.
Ardrossan... ha. The person is correct, the only purpose is to get a ferry to Arran.
Glasgow is a nice city... sure it has it's dreadful areas such as Govan but the City Centre is great and full of culture.
This is off topic, but Goatboy and Mr.Snuggly have you ever seen ‘Best In Show’? It’s by the creators of Spinal Tap and again it’s an improvised comedy. It follows a group of people trying to win awards for their dogs at ‘The Mayflower dog show’. It’s a great film, you may like it.
http://www.playserver4.com/play247.asp? (SPACE) page=title&r=R2&title=94941
There’s a link.
http://www.playserver4.com/play247.asp? (SPACE) page=title&r=R2&title=94941
There’s a link.
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