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"The new woman whom I hate"

We have a new member to the team: a very fat and repugnant old woman who has napalmed the area with pot plants, shown of her hideous midriff far too many times because she wears some crappy tshirt (and purple shell suit bottoms) as a result of the aforementioned-looking to my right is now forfeit, told me 100 times about holidays she has won and often starts a conversation with "annoyingly I can't take next weekend off because I could be in Paris blah blah" or "it's a shame I can't use my Boots loyalty points...", wants to put her bl**dy certificates everywhere, has made a point of doing no work even though she has just joined (man she is stealing my thunder and it won't look good if she draws too much attention our way-looking busy is an artform), has numerous office funnies that she wants to share with me like "it's better to be the dog than the lamppost" and so on, has pictures of hilarious things like a train crashing onto the road below it and she is sucking the life out of me, like a geriatric vampire who has a colostomy bag and Stannah easy grow teeth.

Being on a desk full of "oldies who shout loudly down the phone for no fecking reason", was just about bearable but know....

I have no authority either being a temp.

Cry for me.

And these are just a few of her foibles. She has an attitude problem, likes to gab on the phone for ages whilst playing solitaire, leans on her chair at an insiduous angle with her feet on the bin and everything else whaling on the shore around her, reads romance novels, quote "this one is really interesting, the bloke is a South African gangster...", insists on calling herself "xxxxxx" without an E then uses her Maiden name all the time and has a collection of pens that rivals Pauline's in the League.

lol, that sucks. Try freaking her out, make constant conversations about the consuption of human flesh or something.

We have a new member to the team: a very fat and repugnant old woman who has napalmed the area with pot plants, shown of her hideous midriff far too many times because she wears some crappy tshirt (and purple shell suit bottoms) as a result of the aforementioned-looking to my right is now forfeit, told me 100 times about holidays she has won and often starts a conversation with "annoyingly I can't take next weekend off because I could be in Paris blah blah" or "it's a shame I can't use my Boots loyalty points...", wants to put her bl**dy certificates everywhere, has made a point of doing no work even though she has just joined (man she is stealing my thunder and it won't look good if she draws too much attention our way-looking busy is an artform), has numerous office funnies that she wants to share with me like "it's better to be the dog than the lamppost" and so on, has pictures of hilarious things like a train crashing onto the road below it and she is sucking the life out of me, like a geriatric vampire who has a colostomy bag and Stannah easy grow teeth.

Being on a desk full of "oldies who shout loudly down the phone for no fecking reason", was just about bearable but know....

I have no authority either being a temp.

Cry for me.