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"The new woman whom I hate"

We have a new member to the team: a very fat and repugnant old woman who has napalmed the area with pot plants, shown of her hideous midriff far too many times because she wears some crappy tshirt (and purple shell suit bottoms) as a result of the aforementioned-looking to my right is now forfeit, told me 100 times about holidays she has won and often starts a conversation with "annoyingly I can't take next weekend off because I could be in Paris blah blah" or "it's a shame I can't use my Boots loyalty points...", wants to put her bl**dy certificates everywhere, has made a point of doing no work even though she has just joined (man she is stealing my thunder and it won't look good if she draws too much attention our way-looking busy is an artform), has numerous office funnies that she wants to share with me like "it's better to be the dog than the lamppost" and so on, has pictures of hilarious things like a train crashing onto the road below it and she is sucking the life out of me, like a geriatric vampire who has a colostomy bag and Stannah easy grow teeth.

Being on a desk full of "oldies who shout loudly down the phone for no fecking reason", was just about bearable but know....

I have no authority either being a temp.

Cry for me.

There's always some fun to be gained from it though.

1) Spread a rumour about her and someone else in the office who you hate. If done correctly, ie to gossips, it will spread like wildfire. Never admit where you heard it, just say "did you hear about...." and always finish "..nah, couldn't be true...could it?" Always works.

2) Make little labels and put them on personal belonging of hers, Mobile phones etc, things like 'bite me' and 'Hi, I'm betty swollux'

3) Make sure that you eat spicy food in the evening and watch the results the next day, saving it all for when you walk past, then giving her funny looks afterwards.

Lil Ginge wrote:
> not in france...in spain by french A**holes

No i cant say i have. And knowing the French its probably for the best that i havent.

Has she got kids? People like her always have kids. And love to talk about them all *&%$!*%^" day.

"You'll never guess what my Jeremy did this morning..."

Well no, I guess I never would, not giving a flying %!&*^ about you or your social life you be-spectacled ladder-fearing femi-oaf. Damn I hated Pauline, and she STILL works at Toys R Us.

not in france...in spain by french A**holes

Alter Ego wrote:
> Lil Ginge wrote:
> hang on...I have to work with a short sleezy 23 year old with a
> beard,
> rat features and a name like pierre (sorry to any possible pierre's
> on
> this site) he is the most grotesque little being, he has a
> girlfriend
> who i am not quite sure sticks with him - he latches on to any
> random
> women ranging from 13 to about maybe 50....i don't mind being 'girl
> works with the lads' but this little fellow nooooo
>
> There are some truelly strange and vile people in this world...
I know a few...have you read what happened in France eeeesh

Lil Ginge wrote:
> hang on...I have to work with a short sleezy 23 year old with a beard,
> rat features and a name like pierre (sorry to any possible pierre's on
> this site) he is the most grotesque little being, he has a girlfriend
> who i am not quite sure sticks with him - he latches on to any random
> women ranging from 13 to about maybe 50....i don't mind being 'girl
> works with the lads' but this little fellow nooooo

There are some truelly strange and vile people in this world...

hang on...I have to work with a short sleezy 23 year old with a beard, rat features and a name like pierre (sorry to any possible pierre's on this site) he is the most grotesque little being, he has a girlfriend who i am not quite sure sticks with him - he latches on to any random women ranging from 13 to about maybe 50....i don't mind being 'girl works with the lads' but this little fellow nooooo

The sagacious one wrote:
> We have a new member to the team

Cheer up. Tomorrow she's going to jog into work in her shell suit and tell you all about these neat games that she's won from Gameaday.co.uk.

Then you can spend the whole weekend wondering if she's going to see this thread.

Eh!

Umm!

Kiriyama wrote:
> Heh! :D

Oi!


Heh!