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"How Sniper got his groove back."

Sniper lay on the medic table, that Grix lay on oh so long ago... just before they all entered his mind, and entered a world of the west, fought like cowboys and swore like Scotsmen.

Sniper, was in what seemed a coma... mind you, he didn't actually have a mind, as it had been removed...

Oh right, you don't know about any of this crap... better update you then.

A week ago, Sniper's and Bill Gate's mind were both put onto a megadrive cartridge after they failed to save him. Soon after that, Grix died, so they put his mind on it too. So he's kinda alive, but not.

Hmmm.

Let's start again.

Sniper's mind is now on the megadrive cartridge along with Bill Gate's mind and Grix's. We don't know why.

But, Sniper's mind for some reason has taken control, and now has created a world for which the minds to live in. A bit like the Matrix, but not.

For you see, it's Sniper's mind that creates the world... much like Grix's mind made the western world, that they all got stuck in.

Hmmm...

Did you ever see that episode of Red Dwarf when Kryten got that bug, and in order to fight it, he made a computer program that he fought in with his mind? Gunmen of the Apocolypse, right?

Well, it's like that.

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"Would anyone be utterly shocked if we entered this thing and it was just a barren wasteland?" Pb asked.

"Now now, they'll be room for plenty of empty minded Sniper jokes later. Let's not ruin them all now." FM replied.

They had chosen the original four to go back inside the Megadrive cartridge, for obvious reasons. Being "more deserving to be wrote about" seemed to be top reason.

So Venombyte, Pb, Meka and FantasyMeister all decided that they would enter, Goatboy then managed to convince them that he should go too. Rock and roll, apparently.

So it was decided. The rest just lay around, and waited. And so they entered Sniper's mind.

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Tuesday. Just a name for another day.

Sniper doodled a naked woman in his diary... completely out of proportion, dreamy.

He had been stuck inside all day, waiting... just like any other damn day. He wore a black and white suit, and waited in his black and white room... he looked out into the white sky, with black clouds and black rain. It was if the whole damn world was black and white.

He dreamed of a rainbow, but he couldn't remember what it looked like.

Hell, he couldn't even remember what his face looked like. He got up from his desk, and walked to the mirror.

A damn handsome man starred back at him... just as he thought, he was beautiful. How could he forget.

He went back to his desk, and began to clear away his things. Pointless staying in the office all day... damn, he needed to get out... and of course, his award ceremony tonight, dedicated to him... was supposed to be a surprise, but how do you hide something from Sniper?

He smiled to himself. He rocked.

A knock came at the black and white door of his colourless room... as it opened, the name of the occupant and his job description flew also, along with a beautiful woman in a red dress.

"Detective Sniper? Is that you?"

Sniper turned fully around, and brushed his hair back with his fingers.

"Hi there sugarcake. What can I do for you?"

The woman seemed flustered, embarressed.

"To be honest, I'm... I didn't expect you to look... so..."

"Handsome? Don't worry darling, the words will come, but let us forget communication for the time being, and let's get down to business..."

"No... I... but..." The woman resisted, still clinging to the handle of the door. "I need your help, I'm worried... I think there is someone trying to kill me."

Sniper took the words like the smoke from his cigarette, calmly destroying his insides while seeming so good. "I'm intrigued, why would anyone want to kill you?"

"I don't know..." The woman obviously lied. "I just... you have to protect me. It's Grix Thraves, I think he's stalking me."

Grix... the name made his tongue sting every time he uttered the word... speaking out to him like a lemon juice without any added sugar.

"Grix..." He said, wiping his tongue with his teeth. "Him."

"Yeah... he's after me Sniper, I feel him everywhere I go..."

Sniper's thoughts disgusted him. "Damn him. Don't worry darling, I'll get him, don't you worry about it."

"Thank you, please, I have something to tell you..." The woman left the door, and approuched Sniper... she leaned in towards him...

Sniper smiled and looked deep into her eyes...

"You can find him usually in the arms of a lady in the Queen's Arms at 9:00PM every night."

"The Queen's Arms? But that's a gay bar." Sniper said, thoughtful.

"How do you know that?"

Sniper looked around. "I'm a private detective sugarcup, I have to know these things." Sniper smoothed back his hair again.

"Please, Sniper, make love to me, now, please!" The woman fell to her knees.

"Not now darling, my clan awaits me... tonight we're playing Unreal Tournament." He paused. "It's been a while. A long while." Sniper left the room, and the woman cried in her arms.

YH was walking along. It wasn't raining, for once. It was also daytime. He didn't normally venture out in the day, for fear of people seeing his scars, seeing his face.

He was thinking.

It appeared that Goatboy had figure it out. Goatboy had also told Meka, well, kind of anyway. But the seed was there. The seed of doubt, and that was the problem.

Meka would soon start to doubt everything around him. Everything he saw, everthing he heard, smelt and touched. All of it would come with a little shred of doubt in his mind.

It would take a while for him to figure it out though.

For his whole life Meka would have believed everything around him was real. No longer. It would take a while, or some amazing powers of persuasion from Goatboy, before Meka realised, and believed it.

YH realised he should have done a better job when he was in Goatboys flat, that week or so before. Why hadn't he killed him? The chance had been there for the taking. The answer hit him.

History. He almost spat the word out. His only remaining human weakness. One that he couldn't rid himself of. He remembered things. Things that made it hard to kill Goatboy.

He knew that the dispatch of Goaty would be his last test, before he would be gully joined into The Collective. He must succeed, he must......

It started to rain and an umbrella appeared in YH's hand, almost by magic....

Meka couldn't sleep that night.

The things Goatboy had told had left his head in a whirl...

It was like a big dream, but where did this Goatboy come in to it. Was he like a guardian angel?

One thrase stuck in his head.

"I think we're the only ones with any real thoughts in this whole city."

Something wasn't quite right about that. Now he thought about it and started looking out for things he'd noticed that most people were scenery and that many just made the world look real.

But there were others, others which didn't follow the program...

He couldn't quite pinpoint it but...

that Venombyte did seem to be a bit out of the ordinary. Surely a fake entity wouldn't mess up a relationship in such a dramatic way...

--------------------------

Mario was running. He jumped onto a turtle and picked up it's shell. Carrying the shell, Mario jumped onto a higher platform before letting it go, sending it towards some hapless foes.
The shell ploughed through them, and then bounced offf a wall, going straight back into Mario who died.

"DAMN!"

Strafex cursed.

There as a knock on the door.

Suddenly alert, he turned off the Gameboy Advance and hid it under his pillow.
He then dropped his posture so he was lying flat in the bed.

"come in" he weakly croaked.

The door opened and Delta came in.

"Good news, I've nearly got the network back up. I managed to get one of them on the monitor."

"good." Croaked Strafex. "keep up the good work and i'll see you when i'm better. it should only take a few more days. i need a bit more rest though."

"Oh, ofcourse" smiled Delta as he left and closed the door.

I'd better not tell Strafex about Sheepy yet, thought Delta, not in his condition. I'll save it for when he's better.

Strafex watched the door close and waited 5 seconds for the coast to clear.
He then took the GBA from under the pillow and started playing again.

They were doing fine without him. Besides, he'd start helping again soon, just as soon as he'd worn out his fresh supply of batteries...

Delta walked back in to the workshop and banged on one of the many monitors in frustration. To his surprise, it sparked up and a grainy, half viewable picture lit up the screen.

He watched the flickering image as it showed Goatboy explaining things to Meka as they walked down the road back towards the Opera, where Mekaís illusionary wife was waiting for them. Thatís one down, at least. He fiddled with a hastily built tuning button before the picture focused in on another of the Fog gang.

The picture showed a green felt, which contracted to include a wooden frame and then the whole of a pub. DJ watched as he made out the forms of Sniper and Grix. They were holding a conversation, but he couldnít tell what it was about because there was no sound yet. He turned the button again and a corridor appeared. No, it wasnít a corridor, it was a dark alleyway, and he could just make out the form of pb, sitting in the corner, drinking out of an old looking bottle. If only he could contact them, tell them what they were really doing there. He hoped Goatboy and Wookie could round the others up beforeÖ..What was that? Another picture flashed up on screen for a couple of seconds.

No, it couldnít be, could it? Delta was sure he caught a glimpse of Sheepy. But what was he doing there? This might mean trouble. He tried to adjust the picture again to get a better look when Ant burst through the door. The force of the door slamming against the frame shook the equipment and the monitor fizzled out again, leaving a small luminous dot in the centre. Delta stared at Ant.

ìWhat?î Ant said as he saw the way Delta was looking at him.

ìI had themÖ.î Delta said, half excited and half angry at Ant, ìThey are ok, but it looks like they donít remember their real lives. Someoneís been playing around with the world and theyíre caught in the middle.î

They both went to see if they could salvage any of the parts to get the equipment working again, but the only picture they got on the screen was a weak signal from the BBC, who were showing some retro programme that Ant recognised after a short while.

ìHow strange.î He said, showing Delta the screen, ìTheyíre showing Dr WhoÖ.î

Meka and Goatboy sat in the cafÈ... [Thanks Venom...], someone who worked there swept the floor... outside there were roadworks, and traffic was building up...

"Tell me what you are thinking." Goatboy said.

Meka blinked at starred at his coffee. "Everything seems so... what the hell was I doing attacking that man? I mean... I just saw him, and attacked him? What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you. You're acting perfectly normal."

Meka put his head in his hands...

"Tell me... look at the man sweeping the floor."

Meka watched the man. He wore a pinny around his neck... it was dirty, and he sweeped from corner to corner.

Meka watched him closer... and watched the pattern that he swept...

The man wasn't actually cleaning the floor. He was just moving dust around... No pattern, no removal of dirt... just sweeping the floor...

"He's not actually cleaning the floor... he's... he's just sweeping..."

Goatboy smiled and watched the man too. "Do you know why he's doing that?"

Meka watched him again. "Because he's a bad cleaner?"

"No. Tell me... how many times have you ever studied someone sweeping a floor? Have you ever watched their style?"

"No... never... well, just then, I suppose..."

"So all you see, really... is just someone brushing the floor? Right?"

Meka began to see...

"The cleaner is behaving exactly the way that we see him... he isn't a cleaner, he's just something that's there to make us feel saner."

Meka looked around further... there were roadworks outside... a man drilled into the road...

He wasn't doing anything. He was just drilling. People walked past... where were they going? Were they going home?

"I think it's time for another experiment." Goatboy said...

"Who ARE you?" Meka asked again... "Why won't you tell me?"

"It's unimportant. It's a card I think might be useful not to use quite yet. Just trust me."

----------

"So... what's the plan?"

Meka and Goatboy sat on a bench in a park.

"We need to do a predictability test." Goatboy stood up. "The first thing is important. Do not under any circumstances look at your watch."

"Right... ok..."

Goatboy got out a small piece of paper, and wrote something on it. He stood up, and Meka followed him. They both said nothing as they walked out of the park, avoiding many people walking dogs.

"Here." Goatboy said.

Meka looked ahead. There was a school.

They both walked on...

As they walked past, they looked into the playground. Kids were playing, on the swings, generally having fun. They walked past again.

"Look at your watch."

Meka did so. It was about half past five.

"What the? Aren't the children supposed to be home?"

Goatboy got out his piece of paper. He showed the words "children playing" to Meka. "Yes. Yes they are. But in our minds, playground means children playing, and that's the first thing we expect to see. If you knew what the time was... obviously, it wouldn't have worked."

"So what happens now? When we walk back?"

"I expect our minds will try and come up with an excuse... such as after school lessons, on a sign that we didn't notice before because it wasn't there." Goatboy said, turning around and walking back.

They walked past the playground... there it was. A banner above the school, announcing that the school play was on tonight. The kids were there to watch the play, or take part.

"Hang on... isn't this some kind of big coincidence? This is as complex as hell."

"No... just think... all the things you don't really pay attention to... the birds in the sky, all the other stuff... I don't think it's real. I think we're the only ones with any real thoughts in this whole city."

"Then what the hell is going on?" Meka asked, watching as the children ran into the school because the play had just started...

Goatboy thought for a second. "I don't know. But we've got to find out."

Tuesday evening.

Venombyte's wedding had been eventful... with a woman coming forward, claiming that she had slept with Venombyte last night. He denied it of course, but that was the end of that, and in a fury of tears, the wedding was cancelled.

Odd too. Venombyte seemed... so... honourable. Why on earth would he go behind his finance's... fiancÈe's back? And on the eve of the wedding?

Something didn't add up here. That was probably why he was in an opera with his wife... he didn't even know if he should have bought her alone or not, but going to the opera on his own might have seemed a bit... suspicious... especially under recent circumstances. Enough to make anyone paranoid.

The opera wasn't really Meka's taste... but he had to admit, it was quite beautiful. His wife seemed to be enjoying it too. He'll buy her an ice cream at the interval... if there was one.

Then he remembered why he was there again... and began to look around. The empty seat which had occupied the seat next to him for the entire performance seemed also suspicious... was that man... his... angel? Who was he anyway, and what the hell was he doing in an opera...?

He was being watched.

Meka casually gazed around... he could feel the eyes now... they were... they were expecting something. Something was going to happen. Soon.

Meka was in a front seat of the second balcony... he could see right down into the crowds below... that's where he should be watching...

And there it was.

A man... he... appears to be going to the toilet.

"I'm just going to the toilet darling... I'll be back soon." He kissed his wife, and then tried to get out from the row. He walked briskly to outside the hall, walked past the floors toliets, and downstairs.

He watched as the man entered the toilets, and Meka walked in after him, trying not to make a sound.

The man walked to the mirrors, and Meka averted his eyes as he walked past...

He took a second glance. The man had something in his hand.

Meka lunged at the man, and hit him hard in the stomach. The man collapsed to the floor, dropping the object in his hand... Meka hit him again... beating a man for seemingly no reason... he lay on the ground, wincing in pain...

Meka looked at the object... he had never seen it before... it was... like... a black rectanglar object, with a small... aerial, out from the top. There were buttons all over it... Meka knew he shouldn't press any of them.

He carefully picked it up, gave the man another kick for good measure, and then ran out of the toilets...

He ran out from the corridor into the lower level of the hall, and climbed onto the stage. Some men tried to grab him, but he pushed them back.

Meka went to shout... but then looked at all the faces staring at him...

Expecting.

Men grabbed him from the side... Meka watched the audience as a single man stood up, and headed out of the hall. Meka was escorted off stage and the audience clapped.

------------

Meka walked outside... and a man approuched the two police officers that were escorting him.

"It's ok... I'll deal with this."

The police men nodded after seeing his badge... and Meka and Goatboy were left alone.

Goatboy immedietly placed his hand in Meka's pocket and removed the buttoned device.

"I would say that was a pretty good experiment..." Goatboy said, as he pocketed the device himself. "But not quite as planned."

Ant paced up and down the room, steam almost coming out of his ears.

"Grrrrr...where's Bleeders!?"

"He's probably just late," DeltaJava said, desperately trying to calm Ant.

Ant turned on DJ and shrieked, "BLEEDERS IS NEVER LATE?!?"

The force of is scream made DJ stumble back, and hit his head on the table.

"Ouch."

"Sorry DJ...look, I'm gonna find out what's happened."

"No Ant, you're better off staying here. I'll go."

Ant sighed, but agreed.

__________________________

DJ walked along the busy street, about 10 minutes away from Bleeders Inc. As he turned a corner, he noticed a commotion, with a group of people huddled around something smoking. He ran up to them, and managed to squeeze to the front.

It was a van, with the words "Bleeders Inc," sprawled across it in bold red.

He nudged a person next to him, "What happened?"

The man turned, and said, "Supposedly some madman in a Mercedes came by and rammed him up the back. The van then smashed into that wall, and went tumbling over on its side. I'm meant to be at work, and this van is blocking my only route..."

DJ turned away, shocked. Someone didn't want that system to be fixed anytime soon...

...and two days passed, without any anything happening in sniper's brain....

Yeah Sniper, join in the story.

We've kept you alive this time (well not exactly alive, you are in a sort of coma, but we've not killed you "kenny style" of anything).

Yeah, yeah we do. Come back Sniper. Not the same without you.

Sorry to butt in but you guys miss me :)