Viewing Thread:
"How Sniper got his groove back."

Sniper lay on the medic table, that Grix lay on oh so long ago... just before they all entered his mind, and entered a world of the west, fought like cowboys and swore like Scotsmen.

Sniper, was in what seemed a coma... mind you, he didn't actually have a mind, as it had been removed...

Oh right, you don't know about any of this crap... better update you then.

A week ago, Sniper's and Bill Gate's mind were both put onto a megadrive cartridge after they failed to save him. Soon after that, Grix died, so they put his mind on it too. So he's kinda alive, but not.

Hmmm.

Let's start again.

Sniper's mind is now on the megadrive cartridge along with Bill Gate's mind and Grix's. We don't know why.

But, Sniper's mind for some reason has taken control, and now has created a world for which the minds to live in. A bit like the Matrix, but not.

For you see, it's Sniper's mind that creates the world... much like Grix's mind made the western world, that they all got stuck in.

Hmmm...

Did you ever see that episode of Red Dwarf when Kryten got that bug, and in order to fight it, he made a computer program that he fought in with his mind? Gunmen of the Apocolypse, right?

Well, it's like that.

-------------

"Would anyone be utterly shocked if we entered this thing and it was just a barren wasteland?" Pb asked.

"Now now, they'll be room for plenty of empty minded Sniper jokes later. Let's not ruin them all now." FM replied.

They had chosen the original four to go back inside the Megadrive cartridge, for obvious reasons. Being "more deserving to be wrote about" seemed to be top reason.

So Venombyte, Pb, Meka and FantasyMeister all decided that they would enter, Goatboy then managed to convince them that he should go too. Rock and roll, apparently.

So it was decided. The rest just lay around, and waited. And so they entered Sniper's mind.

----------------

Tuesday. Just a name for another day.

Sniper doodled a naked woman in his diary... completely out of proportion, dreamy.

He had been stuck inside all day, waiting... just like any other damn day. He wore a black and white suit, and waited in his black and white room... he looked out into the white sky, with black clouds and black rain. It was if the whole damn world was black and white.

He dreamed of a rainbow, but he couldn't remember what it looked like.

Hell, he couldn't even remember what his face looked like. He got up from his desk, and walked to the mirror.

A damn handsome man starred back at him... just as he thought, he was beautiful. How could he forget.

He went back to his desk, and began to clear away his things. Pointless staying in the office all day... damn, he needed to get out... and of course, his award ceremony tonight, dedicated to him... was supposed to be a surprise, but how do you hide something from Sniper?

He smiled to himself. He rocked.

A knock came at the black and white door of his colourless room... as it opened, the name of the occupant and his job description flew also, along with a beautiful woman in a red dress.

"Detective Sniper? Is that you?"

Sniper turned fully around, and brushed his hair back with his fingers.

"Hi there sugarcake. What can I do for you?"

The woman seemed flustered, embarressed.

"To be honest, I'm... I didn't expect you to look... so..."

"Handsome? Don't worry darling, the words will come, but let us forget communication for the time being, and let's get down to business..."

"No... I... but..." The woman resisted, still clinging to the handle of the door. "I need your help, I'm worried... I think there is someone trying to kill me."

Sniper took the words like the smoke from his cigarette, calmly destroying his insides while seeming so good. "I'm intrigued, why would anyone want to kill you?"

"I don't know..." The woman obviously lied. "I just... you have to protect me. It's Grix Thraves, I think he's stalking me."

Grix... the name made his tongue sting every time he uttered the word... speaking out to him like a lemon juice without any added sugar.

"Grix..." He said, wiping his tongue with his teeth. "Him."

"Yeah... he's after me Sniper, I feel him everywhere I go..."

Sniper's thoughts disgusted him. "Damn him. Don't worry darling, I'll get him, don't you worry about it."

"Thank you, please, I have something to tell you..." The woman left the door, and approuched Sniper... she leaned in towards him...

Sniper smiled and looked deep into her eyes...

"You can find him usually in the arms of a lady in the Queen's Arms at 9:00PM every night."

"The Queen's Arms? But that's a gay bar." Sniper said, thoughtful.

"How do you know that?"

Sniper looked around. "I'm a private detective sugarcup, I have to know these things." Sniper smoothed back his hair again.

"Please, Sniper, make love to me, now, please!" The woman fell to her knees.

"Not now darling, my clan awaits me... tonight we're playing Unreal Tournament." He paused. "It's been a while. A long while." Sniper left the room, and the woman cried in her arms.

Sniper sat at his desk again, his feet tapping on the surface of his desk, bouncing the two red shoes which lay apon it.

The Sniper festival continued on outside... a giant inflatable Sniper flew over the whole city, covering a multitude of rides and stalls.

Perhaps he should go out... spend some time in the open air.

Outside, he tried to look up at the giant Sniper. Completely blocking the sun... bizzare as it was...

Sniper looked around. What was going on?

People were jumping around merrily, trying their luck in stalls, and enjoying themselves on the big wheel and merry go round... clowns entertained the crowds... What crowds? Where was everyone?

Sniper looked back up, what on earth was he looking for?

And there it was.

The stall fronts freed and flopped down shut. Spy holes appeared in the sides of them, and bullets began to fly across the whole place...

Sniper dived under the cover of an ice-cream cart, before realising that the ice-cream man had a tommy gun too, and got up and ran behind a building.

Sniper looked up at the Sniper blimp, which had suddenly opened underneath to show a small metal compartment... it was an airship now... ropes fell from the sides, and goons jumped down from it...

Sniper lay, getting out his gun... and a goon jumped around the corner. Sniper shot him in the leg, and rolled out...

Sniper raised his gun, and looked at the feet that stood before him. He followed the body to the face... he was wearing a black cape... and what seemed like a black mask...

The blimp moved out of the sunlight, and the beams came down and blinded Sniper... unable to see who was behind the mask...

When Sniper looked back, the masked man had gone. He scanned the area looking for him...

Goons lay on the floor everywhere, the stalls overturned, and the caped man was now climbing the ropes to the airship... quite a height above the ground...

He watched as the airship began to gather speed, and a man was trying to cut the rope at the top... it snapped away, and the masked man fell downwards...

But he fired something from his belt, which stuck into the side of the airship... the masked man swung underneath, winding his way back to the top.

And then the airship went out of view.

Sniper looked around.

The goons were all sitting around, clutching their heads... unsure of what had happened.

Sniper went back inside the offices, and tried to find enough handcuffs.

--------------

"Commotion was caused today as a gang of thugs had taken over the festivities of the Sniper Show, and brought everything crashing down... quite literally."

Sniper kicked off his shoes as he watched the news program, drinking his whiskey.

"Sightings of a black masked man, wearing a black cape were told... but no such man has been found, or come forward as of yet. Typically, we never thought there would be any superheros, especially in our city..."

The second newsreader took over. "Well, we thought wrong Bonus! The arrests of the goons were handled by Detective Sniper himself, who then refused comment on what had happened."

"Well, The Game..." Bonus spat out his companions name. "I think it's all a bit fishy myself, I think Sniper had something to do with all of this."

Sniper glared at the tv.

"Shut up Bonus, we're not allowed to have opinions."

"Ah sod off. I can speak my mind if I want. I'm fed up with all this crappy rules they set apon us."

"Well... yeah, but... it's not right..."

"Sod you. Sod all of you."

Bonus got up from his seat... and the camera man was shown running out of the studio.

---------------

Sniper woke up, and the tv was still on.

"Welcome to The Game and Bonus Show!" Game was heard shouting down a microphone, out of sight.

"Yes! We've taken over the tv studios, and from now on, all you'll get on tv is US. Us doing what the hell we want to!"

"How about some porn for you early birds out there?" Bonus asked the camera, running up to it and holding the lens in his hands, pointing it at his mouth.

Sniper decided to watch tv for the moment.

------------

Sitting back in his office... Sniper tried to think about the man who had obviously saved his life... if not the city...

What the hell was going on?

"Usually Superheros have a name. Usually ending in "man"... but who the hell is he anyway?" Grix said, blowing on his tea because it was too hot. "The only thing I could possibly link this with would be the averted robbery a few weeks back, remember?"

"Yeah..." Sniper replied. "I thought that too. But that doesn't really help us, because we don't know who helped there either."

Grix stroked his chin. "I think you should go visit the train station. I reckon that somebody that had something to do with this may have gone out of town. Lie low, as it were. Why don't you go check the records there, and see if anyone has left? You could check up on Sheepy and that red lady too while you're at it."

Grix thought for a second. "Also... it would be the only way to actually package a blimp up and get it in here. I know for a fact that it didn't fly in, and it wasn't made here. Train seems the most obvious answer."

Sniper stroked his chin in return. "Ok. You, finish your tea and sod off. I don't want to have to worry about you as well."

"All those years and still no trust." Grix said, downing his tea. "Ah well, sod you, see you later, Sniper."

Grix left the office.

Ant watched Delta trying to put the busted PC back together.

Strafex was in hospital making a slow recovery but in the mean time they had to get the system fixed and rescue the operatives involved.

Meka, PB, Venombyte, Goatboy and Fantasy Meister lay lifeless on the floor, their minds linked up to the main computer, system that hadn't been sabotaged.

Sniper's mind, the Mega Drive cartrige and the rest of the equiptment remained intact. All that had been wrecked was the mission control mainframe.

Ant cursed at everything going wrong.
He wasn't surprised, it always goes wrong in a FoG story, but this time he was powerless to do anything.

If only he and Sheepy had been guarding when the attack took place...

Talking of Sheepy...

Sheepy had disappeared lately. Apparently he had a new game to play. This annoyed Ant, leaving the mission to play a game...

It never occured to Ant that the game that Sheepy was playing was the one that Ant so desperately wanted to be in - the mission inside Sniper's brain.

-------------

Sheepy held his hand to his mouth.

"I've managed to get clear from Sniper. It seems that he see's me as the missing link with this Lady in the red dress business.

Yes, I can handle him, just make sure Ant stays well clear and warn me if he gets suspicious!"

Sheepy breathed a sigh of relief.
Why did Sniper go after him?

This was inside his brain after all. Was Sniper's real subconsious leading him around the game it had made?

Sheepy was not afraid. He was Darth Sheepy. He WOULD bring the Overlord back to his glory!

"Your presense is not unexpected..." Goatboy said, slowly walking to the chair which accompanied the sofa. He sat down, and finally looked at Your Honour in the face.

He made a mental note to never do that again, and after the few minutes of trying to claw his eyes out, normal service was resumed.

"It's come to my attention that our little deal may have just been broken." Your Honour said, trying to ignore Goatboy's reaction to his face.

"Oh? Is that right?" Goatboy replied, crossing his legs, and lighting a cigarette. Black and white smoke filled the black and white room.

"Don't mess around with me, you just went to see Meka." Goatboy got up as Your Honour continued to speak.

"Yes. I did. You also told me that I would never talk about what you told me to anyone. Not a single word about what I had heard was to be uttered from these very lips." Goatboy poured himself a drink, offering one by raising his glass in Your Honour's direction.

Your Honour remained speechless, and obviously quite angry. "Don't expect me to go lightly on Meka."

Your Honour got up from the sofa, and slammed the door after leaving.

Goatboy raised his eyebrows, and downed his drink.

"Lemon roasted duck?" Meka asked himself as he wandered downstairs. His mind was concentrating on something else though. He couldn't put his finger on - Yes, yes he could.

"Darling, who was that man that you let in to see me?"

"What man?"

"The man that you must have let in a few minutes ago. He was in my office. You must have seen him, you let him in."

"I didn't let anyone in. Are you ok?"

"Er.... yeah, I'm fine." Meka was puzzled, but tried to cover it up. "I must have fallen asleep, or imagined it or something."

Meka sat down and ate dinner.

When he had finished, he went upstairs, sat down, and stared at the envelope until he went to sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Goatboy opened the door, put his keys on the side, and wandered through to the lounge. The door was slightly ajar, a light coming through in a small patch in the hall floor.

He didn't remember leaving the light on, why was it on? He was on his guard as he slowly pushed the door open. Someone was sitting a on his sofa, back to him.

Goatboy picked up a little ornament thingy that was sitting on the side, and walked slowly across the lounge floor.

"Evening Goatboy, I hope you're not going to hit me with that." It was YH. Goatboy dropped the ornament thingy on his foot in surprise.

The bank now far behind him, only the sushi bar stood between Sniper and the plot being advanced. He still really wasn't sure why he had gone, but perhaps the author will think of something as he writes this sort of babble, mainly used to drag out sequences longer than they perhaps should be.

Sniper stood, and waited... it was raining, quite heavily. He tried to light his cigarette... but realising it was already lit, called victory, and continued to smoke.

The author made a mental note to read through whatever he wrote before posting it, or next time the fits of laughter could kill him.

Sniper continued to stand outside the Sushi Bar. It had little red roofing... some kind of oriental styling... very odd.

Sniper finally walked in... and was asked to remove his shoes. Sniper picked up his foot, checked it, and told them that he hadn't stepped in no dog pap, but removed his shoes anyway.

Sheepy was in the corner... a coincidence, none the less.

Sniper whipped out his gun, "Everyone to the floor!"

The kneeling customers were unsure of what to do, so they all calmly tipped themselves over, and fell to their sides.

Sheepy had other ideas, with the instinct that Sniper was after him, and had jumped out the rather convienently placed back window.

Sniper ran out the front door again, hopping madly putting his shoes back on...

But it was too late, and the sheep like one had gone.

Leaving, however, one small piece of evidence.

"Excuse me... sir... please... what are you doing?" The manager asked, as Sniper started to order everyone out of the restaurant.

Sniper ignored him, and watched as the pile of shoes slowly disappeared, leaving two pairs of shoes.

One pair of grey leather shoes... and a pair of red womens heels.

Sniper stepped inside, and looked around...

The bar was empty.

-------------

Meka twisted the letter around in his hands... it was like something he would write in a book... somebody suddenly coming into his life, changing it...

He wanted to learn more... but he couldn't help but be afraid.

"Meka! Your dinner is ready?"

Oh great.

"What is it, honey?"

"Lemon Roasted Duck! I made it specially!"

"Oh... ok." Meka said, absently. His mind focused on the letter. "I'll be right there."

Goatboy lent back in his chair and sighed, waiting for the phone to be answered.
After several rings, finally a voice came over the line, ìHello?î
Goaty exhaled a bluish stream of smoke from his mouth and ground his cigarette out on the desk-top, ìLong time no speakî
A beat
ìGoatboy?î
ìYep. Howís things?î
ìNot too bad, you?î
He smiled to himself and chuckled quietly, ìSame old. I need a favourî
Silence
ìIíll take that as a yes then.î
Again no reply from the other end of the phone. Goatboy left the silence hanging, enjoying the discomfort down the crackling telephone line.
ìIíll say this once, so youíd best pay attentionî he said, ìVenombyte, know the name? Heís taken time off to marry his fianceî
ìFiance?î
ìExactly. He screwed up royally and if he thinks this will be forgotten then heís very much mistakenî

A knock at the door, ìIíll continue this call later onî snarled Goatboy and slammed the phone down.
The knock once more, persistent and getting louder.
ìWhat?î
A voice from the other side of the door, ìSir? I need to ask you about something you said last weekî
He sighed, he said so much so often, how the hell was he supposed to keep it straight in his head?
Sometimes, he wondered, would it be best to just not speak and just pretend he went along with it all?
ìCome inî
The door opened and in walked Er-No.
ìYes Er-No, what can I do for you?î
ìWell, you mentioned last week about my preference for kiddie consoles, and I wasnít too pleased about it.î
Goatboy swung his legs off the desk and leaned forward, speaking in a quiet voice, ìSorry?î
ìWell, ahÖI took offence at that suggestion and would ask that you ñì
ìYou took offence at something I said?î he whispered.
ìÖwell, yes. You donít really know me and to suggest that I w ñì
ìI donít really know you, Mr No, because if I took the time to know everyone that worked for me, then I would be Cilla bloody Black wouldnít I? Everybodyís friend.î
Er-No shrugged, ìThat might not be a bad thing, I mean I get on with everyone without any problem.î
Goatboy sighed, ìThatís the difference between me and you, I donít care. Thatís why Iím the boss of this railway and youíre not. So, before this conversation continues any further, did you actually have anything of interest to add, or merely chatting at me to relieve yourself of the tedium that is your life?î
Er-No looked upset and backed out of the office, closing the door quietly and disappearing from view.
Goatboy looked out the window onto his railway.
Funny, he thought, you would never have imagined me as the railway enthusiast type. Ah well, itís a small and geeky empire, but nonetheless itís mine.
His ears pricked at a distant echo, inaudible to the human ear, but then Mr Goat had talents that extended far beyond what most were allowed to know about him.


Meka was still staring at the mounting papers on his desk and asking himself if this would ever end.
Surely life was about more than forms and reports? This cant be what being a grown-up was about.
Why did he bother to learn all that stuff at school? Had he used Biology since? Nope.
It dawned on him that most of what was taught in school was crap, designed to fill you up with unnecessary information and to squash any spark of desire or ambition from you.
That way youíd fit in better.

A knock on Mekaís door, ìEnterî
In walked Goatboy in a long black coat and sunglasses.
ìCan I help you?î
Goatboy sat opposite Meka and smiled icily, ìYou called for me.î
Meka look puzzled, ìNo I didnítî
ìYes, you did. I heard you contemplating how crap life can be, and I came to answer your prayers.î
Meka sipped his coffee and looked amused, ìWhatever you say, and what do you do?î
Goatboy removed his sunglasses and stared at Meka, ìI free people from the mundane. Whatever troubles you think you know? I can make them go away.î
ìUh-huh, and how do you do that then? A holiday?î
Goatboyís smile fell from his face, ìOh much better than that, I fix things for people. Mr Venombyte will learn that. Think of me as your Angel. Some call me Gabriel, others call me the Morningstar. Just a name, the point is I can change your world.î
Meka felt a coldness in the room, he shivered and rubbed his arms briskly, ìI appreciate the visit to take my mind off this job, but I really donít see how ñì
Goatboy reached under his coat and came out with an envelope that he placed on Mekaís desk between them both.
ìA choice. A simple choice. Take the envelope and begin your journey towards realisation that most of your life has been a myth. Or, leave the envelope and continue plodding on, wasting your life in thisî, he waved his hand around the office with a look of disgust, ìthis box you spend your days in.î

Meka studied the envelope, a simple plain white one.
Goatboy put his shades back on, ìMake your choice Meka. And make it well, because once you set events in motion, you cannot change them. Now is the time to be bold my friend, gods are created at moments like these. Your call.î

Goatboy stood, brushed off his coat sleeves and bowed slightly, before leaving and closing the door behind him.

The envelope lay in front of Meka.

Sniper sat and thought.

The Queens Arms, a gay bar.

The Bull, a gay bar.

It seemed that all the bars were gay these days, but he supposed that was about right, given that everyone was a stupid gay idiot anyway.

Turbonutter seemed to be hiding something when talking about Grix though, but Turbonutter would do, because he was against everything that Sniper stood for, just like the rest of them, all up against Sniper.

Sniper decided that he needed to head out to the Sushi bar, strangely not gay, but full of Japanese morons none the less.

Maybe he'd find something fishy going on there.

----------------

Meka's head still hurt. He was back at work now, after giving his wife an explanation of his whereabouts she had seemed unconcerned, almost as if she already knew.

The kitchen had been awfully messy too, as if she'd tried to cook something different, but she never cooked anything different?

Meka looked at the pile of papers on his desk. No matter how much work he did, it never seemed to subside, which never even gave him a chance to think about what was going on around him.

The author recieved a sharp elbow to the ribs

"ouch! What was that for?"

"Taking nearly a week to actually add to the story. And then adding having only read the last three posts."

"No really, I'm sure it'll work out"

-----------------

Sniper left Turbonutter's bar, and headed to the local, erm, bank. [We are in some sort of sixties London type area, right? Just checking]

He had a cunning reason for going to the bank, which isn't going to be revealed (or thought of) by this author.

---------

VenomByte was mildly worried he'd told Goatboy he wanted to harry his fiance, and not his fiancÈe. He hoped he wasn't giving the wrong impression. You could be killed for that sort of thing in these parts.

-------

Goatboy picked up the telephone, and dialed an old friend...

"Well, for a start, that damn duck kept turning the lamp on!" Sheepy said, outraged.

"That must've been very annoying. What did you say earlier? It was eating your dog or something?" Ant asked, intrigued at the story Sheepy had told him.

"No, the duck was eating what was left of the dog after the stupid Robot had got into bed with-"

Sheepy was broken off as Delta cried from inside the wrecked systems room, "Can I have some help in here!?"

Sheepy sighed, "Yeah, c'mon. I'll tell you the rest of the story later over the remains of my kettle which was-"

"Yes I know, battered with an iron rod by the rabbit." Ant said, as the two went to help Delta try to resurrect the system.

"She wore a red dress... jese Turbo, how could someone not spot something like that?"

Sniper looked around... the whole world was in black and white...

"Many people come in my bar, Sniper. I pay equal attention to everyone." Turbonutter finally replied... cleaning glasses as he spoke...

"She may have been talking to Grix in here, he regulars this place, right?" Sniper asked, wryfully...

"Grix? No, first time I've seen him in here was the night you turned up and dragged him away."

Sniper's suspicions were confirmed... Grix never came to this bar. It was an agreement with the lady in the red dress, that seems to have vanished off the face of the earth.

But why then? Did they want him out of the way? Did Grix need an alibi?

There was at least another person now that he could talk to...

"Turbo... Does Sheepy often come to this bar?"

"Yeah... he plays pool a lot, or so I hear. If he's kicked off the table in one bar, he goes to the next."

"Thank you for your time." Sniper tipped his hat, and left the bar.