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"I walk like a cowboy"

Life is funny. Not haha funny, I don't feel very haha funny at the moment, but funny.

5 years ago, when I was 19, I didn't excpect to be where I am today. I hadn't even thought about having children, and now I have 2. 2 wonderful little girls, and I don't want any more.

In 5 years time I don't want to changing nappies again. In 20 years time I don't want to have to find a babysitter before I can go out with my wife.

So what could we do about this situation?

Drastic action was decided upon. Sterilisation.

The only question remaining was who.

Now my wife has had 2 Caesarian sections, and the operation for female sterilisation would invole cutting her open again, giving those poor stomach muscles another bashing.

Male sterilisation is an easier operation, and much more successful.

So it would be me.

So yesterday I went into Newmarket Hospital, and had a vasectomy.

The operation involves making a two cuts into the scrotum under local anesthetic, and cutting away sections of the tubes that carry the old baby making juice.

So I lay there and let this bloke do this to me. And he covered me in iodine. You know how long that stuff takes to wash off?

The operation itself is relatively painless, you only feel the needle going in for a second before it goes all numb. I didn't even try to watch what was going on, but Lisa was there beside me, taking it all in, watching this guy cut me open, yank on my tubes, cut them open, sow them up, and stich me back up again.

So I've got stiches, and I'm walking funny.

And it feels much like I've taken a heavy blow in the gonads, but apparently this will soon wear away.

The things we do for love, hey!

oh my god this topic is hilarious!

*wipes aways the tears*

definetly one of the best topics in a long time
*stands and applauds*

Thanks Meka, now I have a funny, odd feeling down below.

I was groaning all the way through the descriptive part of the operation, and yes, I did cross my legs. :-S

Shocky.

So, kinda big desision? Yup in my books.

But but but. What it your wife wants more kids? For some strage unknown reason?

Like if you have a child you win 5 million pounds or something. Or you need 3 kids to win the.... World :-D

That thought of needing to "tuck" at the stiches has scarred me.

:-)

The "Bunch of Flowers" is hilarious.

Mind you, 4 blokes in a room laughing at someone's sack might be construed as odd, but then we all ate raw meat and had a fight and talked about football and guns and stuff so that's ok then.

*coughs manfully*

Who wants a fight?

WÚÛkiee M¯nßÜÄR wrote:
> I've just read this whole thread from the beginning, and - although the subject
> is serious - it's one of the funniest things I've ever read on here!

You've got to laugh about it. Can't take it too seriously!


Well done, Meka, on all counts. You're a braver man than I.

Cheers!

Goatboy wrote:
> Fair enough.

Have you ever done "Bunch of Flowers" with
> it?
Amusing as hell.

My wife and I thumbed through a book called "Puppetry of the Penis" in Heffers when Christmas shopping last year.

It was just pictures of a guy pulling his 'meat and two veg' into various positions to look like other things, including a wristwatch and a windsurfer. If you see it, have a look and try not to wince!

I've just read this whole thread from the beginning, and - although the subject is serious - it's one of the funniest things I've ever read on here!

Well done, Meka, on all counts. You're a braver man than I.

Fair enough.

Have you ever done "Bunch of Flowers" with it?
Amusing as hell.
It's funny what blokes get up to in rehearsal rooms when you cant be bothered to play a song for the 400th time.

Goatboy wrote:
> The women salute you Meka, the blokes wince and cross their legs.

I just like the opportunity to talk about my scrotum.