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Thanks er-no
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
THE COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.
er-no will decide the winner on the basis of amusement only.
THE DEATH OF SNIPER.
The competition. Well its simple.
You guys have until the 26 August to write ways in which Sniper dies.
This can be in many different styles eg. One liner, quick story or a few paragraphs.
The entry that is the most funny and well written wins a gameaday. You can enter as many times as you want Sniper to die.
Staff members cannot enter (I think).
And remember MY decision is final.
Hint: Keep it funny and not too long.
CLOSING: 26 August
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CJC wrote:
> Sniper ate some bacon for dinner and choked on that minging fat
> around the outside.
Thats the worst way to die!
I have nearly done that, died.
That way aswell
I was enjoying my Sunday Roast that my mum had cooked and suddenly I started coughing, and coughing untill I couldn't breath.
My super mum stuck her fingers down my throat and pull this fat rubbish out. At the time I was only about 9ish. That was a close one.
Ok back to main post.
Sniper was Testing out his new sniper rifle in the firing range. He was having problems with the gun all morning, until it jammed again and in a rage of fury Sniper threw it onto the ground, this thing rebounded around the walls firing bullets all over the place. Sniper was running towards the door when someone opened it swiftly smashing Sniper on the head and sending him flying out the top floor of the firing range, He fell about 15 floors when a pole appeared, sniper reached out and held on for dear life.
The Fire Brigade turned up and safely moved sniper onto “solid” ground and before sniper could say “thanks” the ground opened up before his very eyes. Sniper jumped out the way crack in the road and before he could say “phew” bullets whizzed pass him, sniper span around to see where the came from,and there he was, his old arch enemy brother, Snipered.
Someone threw Sniper a rifle and the 2 brothers ran for cover. Shots were fired back and forth until they both ran out of ammo and came out of hiding. They reached an agreement to be friends and before they could shake hands the new sniper rifle that he threw on the floor was falling from the sky and before he knew it, the sniper rifle had smashed him on the head causing a fractured skull. Alive as he was sniper stumbled across the road and tripped on that new sniper rifle, He fell to his Fiery deep black lava filled hole that had opened up before.
> Sniper ate some bacon for dinner and choked on that minging fat
> around the outside.
Thats the worst way to die!
I have nearly done that, died.
That way aswell
I was enjoying my Sunday Roast that my mum had cooked and suddenly I started coughing, and coughing untill I couldn't breath.
My super mum stuck her fingers down my throat and pull this fat rubbish out. At the time I was only about 9ish. That was a close one.
Ok back to main post.
Sniper was Testing out his new sniper rifle in the firing range. He was having problems with the gun all morning, until it jammed again and in a rage of fury Sniper threw it onto the ground, this thing rebounded around the walls firing bullets all over the place. Sniper was running towards the door when someone opened it swiftly smashing Sniper on the head and sending him flying out the top floor of the firing range, He fell about 15 floors when a pole appeared, sniper reached out and held on for dear life.
The Fire Brigade turned up and safely moved sniper onto “solid” ground and before sniper could say “thanks” the ground opened up before his very eyes. Sniper jumped out the way crack in the road and before he could say “phew” bullets whizzed pass him, sniper span around to see where the came from,and there he was, his old arch enemy brother, Snipered.
Someone threw Sniper a rifle and the 2 brothers ran for cover. Shots were fired back and forth until they both ran out of ammo and came out of hiding. They reached an agreement to be friends and before they could shake hands the new sniper rifle that he threw on the floor was falling from the sky and before he knew it, the sniper rifle had smashed him on the head causing a fractured skull. Alive as he was sniper stumbled across the road and tripped on that new sniper rifle, He fell to his Fiery deep black lava filled hole that had opened up before.
cooldogs wrote:
> PB that isnt long it it?
Long, but one of the best entries so far...
> PB that isnt long it it?
Long, but one of the best entries so far...
The figure rocked back and forward in his chair. It was nearly time for work again. Oh why did he get born into this job? All the others had easy lives, all they had to do was collect the souls of a few common people every day.
'No' the figure thought to himself as he ran his bony finger down the shiny edge of his scythe in contemplation, 'I have to end up being the Death of Sniper'
Just as he turned around the clock on the wall began to chime, it was more of a dull thud than a chime,but it summed his life up pretty well. He got up, grabbing his long black cloak, and walked through the door.
--
Sniper was under his car, adjusting the brakes, when Grix walked past.
"Sniper?" he shouted as he looked around, not seeing the pair of legs that hung from out of the front of the car. "Helloooooo? Anyone home?" he continued as he absent mindedly leant on the bonnet.
The car creaked on its old metal ramps that Sniper had bought second hand just the other year, then with a metallic moan it gave way, sending Sniper's legs off into the sunset and painting the front of the car a deep red.
"Oh well." said the Death of Sniper as he looked on, "Time for work again..." He rushed down towards the car and swooped over it, pulling the grumbling Sniper's spirit from the air as he did so. "You'd think that you would get used to this dying lark." he said.
"You try it, day after day..." said Sniper with a snarl, before his personal death put him back down where one of his legs had embedded itself in the hedgerow.
The leg had strangly grown a body on the end, and it was this body that dragged itself out of the bushes and dusted itself down.
"Ah, there you are!" said Grix as he turned to see Sniper walking towards him. "Doing a bit of gardening were you? I came around to ask if I could have a lift into town..."
"Yeah." mumbled Sniper, "no problem." he said as he motioned for Grix to get in.
As they drove off a pool of liquid steadily congealled where the car had been and a slow trickle followed the destination of the car.
"Could you slow down a little?" asked a nervous Grix as they went down the steep hill to town.
"I would....if the brakes worked..." said Sniper in a sarcastic tone. He pressed again, but no sign of activity came from the brakes.
As they sailed into the tree at the side of the road, Grix was comforted by the appearence of the air bag, while Sniper just thought 'not again...'
Another character was thinking the exact same thing as he watched the graceful arc of the vehicle, culminating in the decent into the old oak tree and comfortably wrapping itself around in a humble embrace. Death of Sniper was soon in the air with the soul of Sniper again, waiting for his body to reappear.
"It's ok..." said Grix hobbling off into the distance. "I'll walk the other 5 miles..."
after the AA had picked what was left of Sniper's car out of the branches of the tree, he went indoors to make a cup of coffee. A ring at the door brought him running to open it. It was Cooldogs.
"Hello!" he said with a cheery smile, I'm trying to sell these kitchen knives, want to buy some?" He motioned to the sharply pointed knife in front of him.
"ok.." said Sniper as he went to fetch some money. After finding a £5 note, he walked back towards the door, but tripped on an ornemental dog which he'd bought in the same place as the ramps. His body flew through the sky and embedded itself deeply on the knife, sending fountains of blood up in the air and all over a frightened Cooldogs.
Death of Sniper had only just got his breath back from having to glide the best part of 10 miles to Sniper's house (it wasn't as easy as it looked, and they never wanted to give him a horse back at the academy of Death) He panted as he picked up the form of Sniper and lay him back down on the floor.
"Towel?" Sniper said re-emerging in front of the perplexed Cooldogs. He saw his expression and smiled. "Don't worry, happens all the time."
"What does?" asked Cooldogs.
"Death." said Sniper off-handedly
--
'Right, that's it.' said Death of Sniper to the cheif Death. 'I've been owed holiday for ages now, and I'm taking it...'
Death looked him in the face. 'You can't! There's no one to cover!" he said.
Death of Sniper just gave him a terrible glance and walked out.
"Oh well," said Cheif Death. "Sniper's going to have a nice day I suppose."
--
Sniper couldn't understand it, he'd been through 2 days without any accidental deaths, without ANY deaths. What was going on? 'Oh well.' he thought, 'perhaps things are turning out for the better...'
He got into bed and switched on the electric blanket. Sipping some water, he settled down against his pillow. A mosquito buzzed around him, so he swatted it with his hand. A pity then, that it was the hand that held the water. The sheets buzzed and sniper lit up the room for 2 minutes before the air smelt of charcoal and something similar to roast chicken.
'Missed me?' said a familiar voice. 'I had a lovely vacation, but I decided that there was nothing like work...' chuckled the Death of Sniper. 'Besides, I missed you.'
'No' the figure thought to himself as he ran his bony finger down the shiny edge of his scythe in contemplation, 'I have to end up being the Death of Sniper'
Just as he turned around the clock on the wall began to chime, it was more of a dull thud than a chime,but it summed his life up pretty well. He got up, grabbing his long black cloak, and walked through the door.
--
Sniper was under his car, adjusting the brakes, when Grix walked past.
"Sniper?" he shouted as he looked around, not seeing the pair of legs that hung from out of the front of the car. "Helloooooo? Anyone home?" he continued as he absent mindedly leant on the bonnet.
The car creaked on its old metal ramps that Sniper had bought second hand just the other year, then with a metallic moan it gave way, sending Sniper's legs off into the sunset and painting the front of the car a deep red.
"Oh well." said the Death of Sniper as he looked on, "Time for work again..." He rushed down towards the car and swooped over it, pulling the grumbling Sniper's spirit from the air as he did so. "You'd think that you would get used to this dying lark." he said.
"You try it, day after day..." said Sniper with a snarl, before his personal death put him back down where one of his legs had embedded itself in the hedgerow.
The leg had strangly grown a body on the end, and it was this body that dragged itself out of the bushes and dusted itself down.
"Ah, there you are!" said Grix as he turned to see Sniper walking towards him. "Doing a bit of gardening were you? I came around to ask if I could have a lift into town..."
"Yeah." mumbled Sniper, "no problem." he said as he motioned for Grix to get in.
As they drove off a pool of liquid steadily congealled where the car had been and a slow trickle followed the destination of the car.
"Could you slow down a little?" asked a nervous Grix as they went down the steep hill to town.
"I would....if the brakes worked..." said Sniper in a sarcastic tone. He pressed again, but no sign of activity came from the brakes.
As they sailed into the tree at the side of the road, Grix was comforted by the appearence of the air bag, while Sniper just thought 'not again...'
Another character was thinking the exact same thing as he watched the graceful arc of the vehicle, culminating in the decent into the old oak tree and comfortably wrapping itself around in a humble embrace. Death of Sniper was soon in the air with the soul of Sniper again, waiting for his body to reappear.
"It's ok..." said Grix hobbling off into the distance. "I'll walk the other 5 miles..."
after the AA had picked what was left of Sniper's car out of the branches of the tree, he went indoors to make a cup of coffee. A ring at the door brought him running to open it. It was Cooldogs.
"Hello!" he said with a cheery smile, I'm trying to sell these kitchen knives, want to buy some?" He motioned to the sharply pointed knife in front of him.
"ok.." said Sniper as he went to fetch some money. After finding a £5 note, he walked back towards the door, but tripped on an ornemental dog which he'd bought in the same place as the ramps. His body flew through the sky and embedded itself deeply on the knife, sending fountains of blood up in the air and all over a frightened Cooldogs.
Death of Sniper had only just got his breath back from having to glide the best part of 10 miles to Sniper's house (it wasn't as easy as it looked, and they never wanted to give him a horse back at the academy of Death) He panted as he picked up the form of Sniper and lay him back down on the floor.
"Towel?" Sniper said re-emerging in front of the perplexed Cooldogs. He saw his expression and smiled. "Don't worry, happens all the time."
"What does?" asked Cooldogs.
"Death." said Sniper off-handedly
--
'Right, that's it.' said Death of Sniper to the cheif Death. 'I've been owed holiday for ages now, and I'm taking it...'
Death looked him in the face. 'You can't! There's no one to cover!" he said.
Death of Sniper just gave him a terrible glance and walked out.
"Oh well," said Cheif Death. "Sniper's going to have a nice day I suppose."
--
Sniper couldn't understand it, he'd been through 2 days without any accidental deaths, without ANY deaths. What was going on? 'Oh well.' he thought, 'perhaps things are turning out for the better...'
He got into bed and switched on the electric blanket. Sipping some water, he settled down against his pillow. A mosquito buzzed around him, so he swatted it with his hand. A pity then, that it was the hand that held the water. The sheets buzzed and sniper lit up the room for 2 minutes before the air smelt of charcoal and something similar to roast chicken.
'Missed me?' said a familiar voice. 'I had a lovely vacation, but I decided that there was nothing like work...' chuckled the Death of Sniper. 'Besides, I missed you.'
Sniper was getting a shower when he got soap in his eye's, Sniper was in agony, he then slipped on the bar of soap went flying throught the glass shower door and banged his head on the toilet seat killing him instantly.
Sniper looked in the mirror and died laughing.
Sniper ate some bacon for dinner and choked on that minging fat around the outside.
Thats the worst way to die!
Thats the worst way to die!
er-no invites sniper to another one of his dad's photography tours to the Amazon rain forest. Sniper is held capyure by those Amazon people and is fed to there pet piranas.
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