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"A couple of Tomb Raider reviews...oh dear"

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Fri 15/06/01 at 12:28
Regular
Posts: 787
These are from aint-it-cool.com, a pretty reliable site on what's good and what isn't.
See what you think and, I'm sad to say I'm not suprised:


"It tosses plot at us in ungraceful chunks and just lays there, inert, like we're watching someone play a game for us with a cheat guide open and steering them through. There's no tension. Everything is just handed to Lara, and we're never once engaged, because we never once actually know what the hell is happening.
Why is Noah Taylor in this film? Why is Chris Barrie in this film? Why does Iain Glenn give such an incredibly painful performance as the bad guy in this film?Where is the sense of fun?
TOMB RAIDER is neither the end of modern cinema nor the guilt-free pleasure machine that lifelong mammary fan Roger Ebert paints it as. It is a lifeless movie from a truly horrible commercial filmmaker. It is a misstep in the starring career of a promising lead actress. And it's a major setback for two producers who have a great slate of material. I hope this ends up being an expensive lesson that spurs everyone involved to do better things in the future."


"This film is ugly, boring and uninspired.
In a single shot, they manage to defecate not only upon the beauty of Angkor Watt, but in a blink…. They voided upon Venice…. In a single transition they made both places look like total logs.
The plotline was overly convoluted and badly told onscreen. There are random left turns that are not surprising, just boring. There is no sexuality in this movie… Plenty of alleged chest, but no titillation.

The lights are never on in TOMB RAIDER… except to over light all the sets and make them look cheap and fake…. People should be imprisoned for making Angkor Watt look pedestrian and ugly. One of mankind’s greatest achievements and it looks like crap here…. How do you do that? Is there a class in film school somewhere that teaches one how to make beauty plain? Does it come before or after the class on making sure to WINK at the camera every 3 minutes?
Do not waste a dime on this! "

. . .

There you go kids, another Mummy Returns special effect laden t**d.
Sat 16/06/01 at 19:41
Regular
"Rong Xion Tong"
Posts: 5,237
Goatboy wrote:

The Big Lebowski, another
> perfect film.

Yeah, John Turturro as Jesus. I've never seen anything so funny in my life. Ha.
Sat 16/06/01 at 19:31
Regular
"Rong Xion Tong"
Posts: 5,237
I saw Pearl Harbor too.....twice!

First time: poor, boring, corny

Second time: better, not as boring, actually quite enjoyable.
Sat 16/06/01 at 16:44
Regular
"You've upset me"
Posts: 21,152
Ya won with this Goaty! Good post!
Sat 16/06/01 at 15:25
Regular
"You've upset me"
Posts: 21,152
I saw Pearl Harbour... and I loved it!
Sat 16/06/01 at 15:11
Regular
"Looking for freedom"
Posts: 622
Dan2K1 wrote:
> SmokedKipper wrote:
> So the critics hate Tomb Raider, eh? That
> means it's REALLY good!

> Did YOU watch Pearl Harbour?

Not yet, but I will. Can't say my hopes are too high though, even if it did get a positive panning from the critics. I think I'll enjoy the bombing bit but the rest strikes me as just a feeble love story. Mind you, I though that about Titanic before I saw (with 'bombing' replaced with 'sinking') but I ended up thinking it was great.
Sat 16/06/01 at 12:46
Posts: 0
SmokedKipper wrote:
> So the critics hate Tomb Raider, eh? That means it's REALLY good!

Did YOU watch Pearl Harbour?
Sat 16/06/01 at 09:15
Regular
"Looking for freedom"
Posts: 622
So the critics hate Tomb Raider, eh? That means it's REALLY good!
Sat 16/06/01 at 02:19
Posts: 0
My finger tastes like Exceedingly good cakes.
Sat 16/06/01 at 00:02
Posts: 0
Damn. After reading your initial post, I can't say I'm surprised either, and I was going to post my own little 'Tomb Raider' post, (shall I? Shan't I? (Is shan't a word?)) but hey, what can you expect when Chris Barrie is in a film! :)
Fri 15/06/01 at 16:00
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
It's ok, it's Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd in a standard slasher-flick elevated by the presence of Mr Freeman.

A tad cliche, but enjoybale none the less


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