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"The Mummy Returns"

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Mon 04/06/01 at 08:58
Regular
Posts: 787
Ok, the good things about this film:

Brendan Fraser
Mummified Pygmies

Everything else sucks.
And I mean EVERYTHING.
This is the worst example of Hollywood grabbing your money and yanking your pants down.

Imagine, if you can, someone telling the original movie to Cheatguru and letting him write the sequel.
It's THAT bad.

Why?

John Hannah. The most annoying man in the world, he has overtaken Hugh Grant on my sh*tlist.

Annoying movie kid - The kind you pray, beg and cry that something will rip him limb from limb. Please, anything..something kill this child.

Racheal Weiz - Dreadful, dreadful actress. Even is bad wearing very little and fighting.

Plot? Something about Scorpion King coming back to rule the world and Imhotep being the only person that can stop him.
Oh, except Fraser does with a big gold stick.

The effects were good, but that does not a good movie make.

Predictable in every fashion, every way.
Braveheart (sorry, it was another long-haired, face painted warrior leading his men into battle)..anyway, Braveheart stands there with thousands of goat-soldiers bearing down on them and you just know this is one of those "Boy, I hope they all turn to dust just as they reach us" moments.

And they do. Which was lucky.

Laughable villains, The Rock is in it for 5 mins at the start and then some refugee from a Ray Harryhausen movie at the end, you could do better with plasticine and sticky-back plastic.

Please, save your money and go rent Charlie's Angels if you want to watch pap.
The Mummy Returns is like watching Titanic, but with EVERY character played by Jar Jar Binks.

I would rather watch dogs copulating for 2hrs than sit through this again.

Save yourself.
Tue 05/06/01 at 13:02
Posts: 0
Exactly this film wasn't intended to be historically accurate or the like. It was a spoof in a way, and is meant to be fun. And it was funny.

I do want one of those pigmy guys for a butler though.
Tue 05/06/01 at 10:16
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
a man with a gun wrote:
> Goatboy wrote:
> Which is the major point of making a film, to
> tell a story
> is it not?

no, it isn't. the main reason for
> making a film is to make money. the main reason to watch a film is
> for entertainment, and more people are entertained by large battles
> and pretty lights than they are by an interesting plot and good
> acting. until this changes we're in for a lot of special effects
> heavy but not much else kind of films.

I know, that's my point.
My favourite quote is "A person is clever, people are stupid"
Effects Heavy movies dont offer anything except brainless entertainment.
Which is fine, but even these can be done with some wit and style.
The X-Men was fun, Charlie's Angels was fun, these are expensive B-movies and they know it.

What they aren't, and what Pearl Harbour/Titanic most definately are, is a mindless exercise in money-grabbing pretending to be serious comment on life.
I love a nice fun movie, Smokey and the Bandit for example, but these movies dont think they are saying anything other than "Hey, look at colours and stunts..cool!".
The Matrix - top, top movie and just had fun with everything.
Pearl Harbour - disgusting, factually innaccurate floater using a real-life event as a backdrop for explosions and CGI.

That's what I find wrong about those films.
Have fun movies, just dont pretend they're anything else
Tue 05/06/01 at 10:05
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
Goatboy wrote:
> Yeah, but it was purile at best.

And how many Arab characters are
> villains? And blacks?
Oh, except for the comical balloon
> pilot.

Yeah, but it was set in Egypt!
Tue 05/06/01 at 09:43
Posts: 0
Goatboy wrote:
> Which is the major point of making a film, to tell a story
> is it not?

no, it isn't. the main reason for making a film is to make money. the main reason to watch a film is for entertainment, and more people are entertained by large battles and pretty lights than they are by an interesting plot and good acting. until this changes we're in for a lot of special effects heavy but not much else kind of films.

this'll cheer you up goatboy. the guy on radio1 reckons pearl harbour is a great film and hes runnin a competition on it! it seems we won't be getting any good films until people like him realize a film can have a plot.
Tue 05/06/01 at 00:00
"The pen is mightier"
Posts: 258
Meka_Dragon wrote:
> BORGDRONE wrote:
> the dwarf-mummies in the
> jungle
> attacked just like the raptors in the Lost
> World!!!

I don't
> remember the raptors running around with blow pipes.... ; )



No, i didn`t mean with blowdarts!!, its just it was similar to the Lost World scene in which the raptors dragged away their victims into the long grass, that was all...!!!
Mon 04/06/01 at 22:37
Posts: 0
The Mummy Returns wasnt as good as the original, but it wasnt that bad. Its just not exceptionally good or bad, an average film...and alot better than that pile of tripe Charlies Angels.
Mon 04/06/01 at 19:15
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
timothykelly1989 wrote:
> oh come on goatboy it wasn't that bad the special effects were quite
> good and the plot although kind of boring didn't need to be
> understood 100% which means you can bother to not watch properly

It WAS that bad.
The plot sucked. Which is the major point of making a film, to tell a story is it not?
The acting was worse than local theatre level, with the exception of Brendan Fraser.

Racheal Weiz was dreadful, and her big "death" scene involved him poking her face with a finger saying, quite calmly "No, don't die".
Wow, touching.

And that kid.
That annoying little kid, "My dad will kick your @rse."
Christ, I hope he bounces you all over this movie.

Special effects do not a movie make.
And I only went to see this because my girlfriend wanted to, I avoided the 1st one precisely because I dont see the point of these flashy, empty moron movies that serve no purpose except to let you stare at a screen whilst shovelling popcorn into slack-jaws.

This is why movies like Fight Club, Requiem for a Dream, Breaking The Waves, Dancer in The Dark and so many more will never make their money back.
Intelligent, well made, thoughtful movies are ignored by people choosing, instead, to sit and let a strand of saliva hang from their lip whilst being entertained by movies with wrestlers in them.

Go watch "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" to see what a movie can be, and then compare it to The Mummy Returns.
Not even a comparison.

These movies are made with one intention in mind.
Money.
If you like the movie, you can buy the toy/bedspread/burger/soundtrack/videogame/curtains/rucksack (and on and on and on and on and on) whilst good, well made movies that try to do more than have loud noises disappear.

This is not right at all.
Mon 04/06/01 at 18:50
Regular
"Whatever!"
Posts: 9,320
I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in watching The Mummy Returns!! The effects look awesome as they did in the previous film but that was one of the worst Ive seen in a long time!! Shame - they really could have made it into a fine movie but it sounds abysmal!!
Mon 04/06/01 at 17:07
Posts: 0
oh come on goatboy it wasn't that bad the special effects were quite good and the plot although kind of boring didn't need to be understood 100% which means you can bother to not watch properly
Mon 04/06/01 at 16:51
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Yeah, but it was purile at best.

And how many Arab characters are villains? And blacks?
Oh, except for the comical balloon pilot.

Moron film.

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