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"The Mummy Returns"

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Mon 04/06/01 at 08:58
Regular
Posts: 787
Ok, the good things about this film:

Brendan Fraser
Mummified Pygmies

Everything else sucks.
And I mean EVERYTHING.
This is the worst example of Hollywood grabbing your money and yanking your pants down.

Imagine, if you can, someone telling the original movie to Cheatguru and letting him write the sequel.
It's THAT bad.

Why?

John Hannah. The most annoying man in the world, he has overtaken Hugh Grant on my sh*tlist.

Annoying movie kid - The kind you pray, beg and cry that something will rip him limb from limb. Please, anything..something kill this child.

Racheal Weiz - Dreadful, dreadful actress. Even is bad wearing very little and fighting.

Plot? Something about Scorpion King coming back to rule the world and Imhotep being the only person that can stop him.
Oh, except Fraser does with a big gold stick.

The effects were good, but that does not a good movie make.

Predictable in every fashion, every way.
Braveheart (sorry, it was another long-haired, face painted warrior leading his men into battle)..anyway, Braveheart stands there with thousands of goat-soldiers bearing down on them and you just know this is one of those "Boy, I hope they all turn to dust just as they reach us" moments.

And they do. Which was lucky.

Laughable villains, The Rock is in it for 5 mins at the start and then some refugee from a Ray Harryhausen movie at the end, you could do better with plasticine and sticky-back plastic.

Please, save your money and go rent Charlie's Angels if you want to watch pap.
The Mummy Returns is like watching Titanic, but with EVERY character played by Jar Jar Binks.

I would rather watch dogs copulating for 2hrs than sit through this again.

Save yourself.
Thu 07/06/01 at 15:04
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Bonus wrote:
> This film is one of the best I've seen this year, and I've seen
> nearly every film at the cinema this year!!

What about:

Best in Show
Dancer in The Dark
One Night at McCools
The Yards

There are so many.

I know it's down to personal taste, but The Mummy is an exercise in $$$ only.
And "one of the best action movies ever".
Is that over Face Off, The Matrix, Hard Boiled, Violent Cop? (I know Bonus didnt say this, but the post below his does)
Thu 07/06/01 at 14:44
Regular
Posts: 6,492
This film is one of the best I've seen this year, and I've seen nearly every film at the cinema this year!!
Thu 07/06/01 at 14:43
Posts: 0
I haven't seen the mummy returns yet, but I might go and see it, despite the bad reviews, purely for the fact that I quite fancy Imhotep (after his skin's returned BTW!) - does this make me weird?
Tue 05/06/01 at 17:23
Regular
"Looking for freedom"
Posts: 622
Goatboy wrote:
Plot? Something about Scorpion King coming back to rule
> the world and Imhotep being the only person that can stop him.

No it wasn't. Imhotep was chosen by a group of people who liked his style to defeat him and thus gain control of the Scorpion Kings army to use to conquer the world etc.

As far as entertainment factor goes (which is the only way you should rate a film) I think this is easily the second best film of the year (after The Emperors New Groove) and one of the best action film for many years. Not really comparable to Indiana Jones but no less enjoyable just because it's new.
Tue 05/06/01 at 14:54
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
whatever
Tue 05/06/01 at 14:49
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
...whilst it was alive
Tue 05/06/01 at 14:44
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
That must've been nice for you.
Tue 05/06/01 at 14:25
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
I ate a goat.
Tue 05/06/01 at 13:52
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
We'll have to disagree on this one then, which is cool, everyone has their own opinion.
Tue 05/06/01 at 13:02
Posts: 0
Exactly. This film wasn't intended to be historically accurate or the like. It was a spoof in a way, and is meant to be fun. And it was funny.

I do want one of those pigmy guys for a butler though.

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