The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Ok, the good things about this film:
Brendan Fraser
Mummified Pygmies
Everything else sucks.
And I mean EVERYTHING.
This is the worst example of Hollywood grabbing your money and yanking your pants down.
Imagine, if you can, someone telling the original movie to Cheatguru and letting him write the sequel.
It's THAT bad.
Why?
John Hannah. The most annoying man in the world, he has overtaken Hugh Grant on my sh*tlist.
Annoying movie kid - The kind you pray, beg and cry that something will rip him limb from limb. Please, anything..something kill this child.
Racheal Weiz - Dreadful, dreadful actress. Even is bad wearing very little and fighting.
Plot? Something about Scorpion King coming back to rule the world and Imhotep being the only person that can stop him.
Oh, except Fraser does with a big gold stick.
The effects were good, but that does not a good movie make.
Predictable in every fashion, every way.
Braveheart (sorry, it was another long-haired, face painted warrior leading his men into battle)..anyway, Braveheart stands there with thousands of goat-soldiers bearing down on them and you just know this is one of those "Boy, I hope they all turn to dust just as they reach us" moments.
And they do. Which was lucky.
Laughable villains, The Rock is in it for 5 mins at the start and then some refugee from a Ray Harryhausen movie at the end, you could do better with plasticine and sticky-back plastic.
Please, save your money and go rent Charlie's Angels if you want to watch pap.
The Mummy Returns is like watching Titanic, but with EVERY character played by Jar Jar Binks.
I would rather watch dogs copulating for 2hrs than sit through this again.
Save yourself.
Brendan Fraser
Mummified Pygmies
Everything else sucks.
And I mean EVERYTHING.
This is the worst example of Hollywood grabbing your money and yanking your pants down.
Imagine, if you can, someone telling the original movie to Cheatguru and letting him write the sequel.
It's THAT bad.
Why?
John Hannah. The most annoying man in the world, he has overtaken Hugh Grant on my sh*tlist.
Annoying movie kid - The kind you pray, beg and cry that something will rip him limb from limb. Please, anything..something kill this child.
Racheal Weiz - Dreadful, dreadful actress. Even is bad wearing very little and fighting.
Plot? Something about Scorpion King coming back to rule the world and Imhotep being the only person that can stop him.
Oh, except Fraser does with a big gold stick.
The effects were good, but that does not a good movie make.
Predictable in every fashion, every way.
Braveheart (sorry, it was another long-haired, face painted warrior leading his men into battle)..anyway, Braveheart stands there with thousands of goat-soldiers bearing down on them and you just know this is one of those "Boy, I hope they all turn to dust just as they reach us" moments.
And they do. Which was lucky.
Laughable villains, The Rock is in it for 5 mins at the start and then some refugee from a Ray Harryhausen movie at the end, you could do better with plasticine and sticky-back plastic.
Please, save your money and go rent Charlie's Angels if you want to watch pap.
The Mummy Returns is like watching Titanic, but with EVERY character played by Jar Jar Binks.
I would rather watch dogs copulating for 2hrs than sit through this again.
Save yourself.
Page:
Smackdown create-a-wrestler...that's funny man, that's exactly what it looked like.
Except it lacked the breasts and 2D head that mine all have
Except it lacked the breasts and 2D head that mine all have
I actually thought The Mummy Returns was really good, but I didn't go in expecting to sit through Ben Hur. It was pure, brainless entertainment, except for the Scorpion King at the end - the special effects were so poor, apparently the company ran out of money and had to finish it using an inferior machine - a spectrum by the looks of it. Monkey man got it right when he said it looked like a create-a-wrestler from Smackdown. Ho ho.
J&SB will be fantastic.
I've got the script and the preview 4 1/2 min rought cut trailer and ALL of the main characters from Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Dogma are back.
Top trailer highlights (and this will only make sense to fans of Mallrats and Chasing Amy):
Brody: "Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"
Finger Cuffs: "They'll make a dumb movie about those two jersk"
Jay: "I am the master of The Cl*t"
This will rock, and will not come to a cinema near you but please, please try to find it.
And the region 1 Mallrats and Dogma DVD rock, as does Clerks the Animated Movie.
I've got the script and the preview 4 1/2 min rought cut trailer and ALL of the main characters from Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Dogma are back.
Top trailer highlights (and this will only make sense to fans of Mallrats and Chasing Amy):
Brody: "Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"
Finger Cuffs: "They'll make a dumb movie about those two jersk"
Jay: "I am the master of The Cl*t"
This will rock, and will not come to a cinema near you but please, please try to find it.
And the region 1 Mallrats and Dogma DVD rock, as does Clerks the Animated Movie.
Look out for 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' in the cinemas in America from August, I don't know when it's coming out here. This is the fifth and final New Jersey based story by Kevin Smith before he starts work on resurrecting Fletch. Apparently at it's test screening it scored 89% entertainment rating, which is good because the average is about 50% (J&SBSB is now one of Miramax's highest rated films). It's interesting that from the Mummy Returns discussion we can see that there will always be films that don't suit everyone's tastes, but J&SBSB looks set to overcome this by appealing to almost everyone who saw the preview screening.
I saw the Mummy Returns a week ago now, and I've already pretty much forgotten it.
Which is exactly the point.
You pay your money, you sit and watch it. Have fun for a couple of hours, then go home and forget about it.
Sometimes this is all I want from a movie, especially when I'm getting away from the kids for a couple of hours!
Oh, and one more thing that was good about The Mummy Returns, the Egyptian guy with the tatts on his face. The fight scences, particularly his, where rather well done.
Which is exactly the point.
You pay your money, you sit and watch it. Have fun for a couple of hours, then go home and forget about it.
Sometimes this is all I want from a movie, especially when I'm getting away from the kids for a couple of hours!
Oh, and one more thing that was good about The Mummy Returns, the Egyptian guy with the tatts on his face. The fight scences, particularly his, where rather well done.
Hey RBS,
I'm just saying that, however good Pearl Harbour may be, I find the idea of basing entertainment on something like that morally wrong.
But I'm in the minority, because that's raking the cash in.
If I had my way, I'd force everyone to watch The Cannonball Run over and over.
That is a class movie with no faults.
I'm just saying that, however good Pearl Harbour may be, I find the idea of basing entertainment on something like that morally wrong.
But I'm in the minority, because that's raking the cash in.
If I had my way, I'd force everyone to watch The Cannonball Run over and over.
That is a class movie with no faults.
I usually agree with Goaty on everything. But when he slagged Pearl Harbour...
I personally thought it was a great film, OK it may have been factually incorrect in places but most of it was true.
Back to my usual self with Goaty, you're right, the Mummy Returns sucked.
I personally thought it was a great film, OK it may have been factually incorrect in places but most of it was true.
Back to my usual self with Goaty, you're right, the Mummy Returns sucked.
Goatboy wrote:
And
> "one of the best action movies ever".
Is that over Face
> Off, The Matrix, Hard Boiled, Violent Cop? (I know Bonus didnt say
> this, but the post below his does)
If you go back and read it again I actually said "one of the best action film for many years" - that should also be 'films' not 'film' (plural) to correct my mistake.
I stand by this opinion and would rate The Mummy Returns easily above all those you mention except The Matrix (which is one of the best films in recent years or any genre).
And
> "one of the best action movies ever".
Is that over Face
> Off, The Matrix, Hard Boiled, Violent Cop? (I know Bonus didnt say
> this, but the post below his does)
If you go back and read it again I actually said "one of the best action film for many years" - that should also be 'films' not 'film' (plural) to correct my mistake.
I stand by this opinion and would rate The Mummy Returns easily above all those you mention except The Matrix (which is one of the best films in recent years or any genre).
The other three didn't come to my local cinema, neither did loser or Blow, come to think of it!!
One Night at McCools was genius and Liv Tyler was so hot!!
Page: