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"Am I going down?"

Some may remember a tale I told about a barn.

This barn, after a bit of idiocy from my close friend neal. Got burnt to the ground. In brief, my friend was working in a barn. Stacking a selection of broken chip and pin machines. It was a cold day in January and so he decided to start a fire to keep warm. Using my lighter my friend recklessly started a fire on a stack of boxes and then later, upon request, in a bin, away from danger. As the situation wore on my friend moved the bin nearer to him, which I questioned, the fire flicked from the metal bin and hit a stack of boxes. To cut a long story short, the barn burnt to the ground.

1 month later he is arrested, he tells his arresting officer that it was I that started the fire. So I was arrested. I told the truth, as stated above. 4 months down the line we are both charged with Arson.

I appear in court next week.

I am, as some will known, a Cambridge university student, with a small desire to be a teacher. This offense could see my dreams dashed and my prospects ruined. I have no idea what the minimum sentence is (be it imprisonment or community service), nor do I know EXACTLY what I did wrong.

At the moment my "close friend" still insists it was I that was responsible for the fire.

Help???

The behaviour of the Notables on this thread has been deplorable. I doubt any of you would appreciate prison jokes if you were facing a courtroom appearance and were too distressed to sleep.

To the OP - I don't know the particulars of the case other than the contents of this thread but I'd be flabbergasted if you get sent down, even for a short while (<1 month).

blemmerfisch! wrote:
> Dringo wrote:
> I haven't slept for days. Maybe Suicide isn't such a bad idea.
>
> ...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
> AHAHHAHAHA
> AAHGAHGHGAHGAHGHAGA
>
> oh jesus christ
>
> "omg i might have to do some community service - maybe suicide
> is the only way out :' {"
>
> bajhajhahhgahga you selfish little pr*ck


You are a particularly unfunny gimmick. Stop posting.

Dringo wrote:
> We tried everything to put the fire out. There SHOULD have been
> water, sand or an extinguisher BY LAW and there wasn't one.

In a farm barn?

It's not an "official mad workspace place"
They don't HAVE to keep fire extinguishers in them.

Your going down.

I have inside knowledge.

You'll have to be very careful and assess the different kind of questions they'll ask you.

"Why did you start the fire?"
"To keep warm"
"I thought you said that you didn't start the fire"

"Why didn't you stop Neal moving the fire."
"Why didn't you move it back after he moved it, etc"

He didn't force you to keep the fire there, and as a Cambridge student you should have had the sense to put it out or move it quickly once it had been moved, etc

RoJ wrote:
> "Looks like I could get up to life imprisonment. According to
> Section 4 of the criminal damage act. If such a terrible eventuality
> occured I'll almost certainly kill myself."
>
> Muh. No-one gets life imprisonment for accidental arson. Maybe if
> you burnt down a nursery, but barn? Fat chance.


Nobody gets life imprisonment in the Magistrates' Court. They have very limited sentencing powers, I think £5k max fine and possibly the power to send people to prison for like 3 years. I'm not certain about the specifics, but either way they can't impose that kind of penalty, not by a loong way.

However, if the Magistrate refers it to a Crown Court, things could potentially get more serious. But I think Dringo would know by now if that were likely, as I think there's a special hearing to determine if it gets referred.



However, I have been working hard, studying my legal journals, to prepare a defence case for you.

When you get to speak, say this:

"We didn't start the fire,
it was always burning since the world's been turning,
We didn't start the fire,
though we didn't light it we were trying to fight it,

We only had the fire to keep warm
No wait I'm blaming my I-pod
But in the end it burned them all
I swear to god it's Neal's fault!

We didn't start the fire.."

Your Honour wrote:
> How will he type? His hands will be clenched onto someones buttocks,
> surely?

He could learn the fine art of toe-typing. Although he wouldn't be able to see what he was typing.

"Looks like I could get up to life imprisonment. According to Section 4 of the criminal damage act. If such a terrible eventuality occured I'll almost certainly kill myself."

Muh. No-one gets life imprisonment for accidental arson. Maybe if you burnt down a nursery, but barn? Fat chance.

How will he type? His hands will be clenched onto someones buttocks, surely?

I imagine he'll have to use a computer to talk, seeing as his mouth will always be in use.