Viewing Thread:
"Death Thread 2005 #2"

Hedfix

Breaks foot and has already annoyed Family Guy so is left to rot


Stryke

Is found with two puncture wounds to the throat. Suicide note reads: 'I don't shake hands lol'.


Flock

Dies from playing Cookie Monster's version of Bridge (see below)


FinalFantasyFanatic

Is bricked up in a cellar piece by piece and left to die. The cellar smells of Poe.


Memorandum!

Killed by volts from mars.


mattributé

Crushed by a boucay of stone roses


Lawrence

Becomes the filling in a sumo wrestler sandwich, things fall a bit flat.


Lard Funkelstein

Capped by an irate Isaac Hayes


Kawada

Drowns in a reflective sea (2) at night.


J-42

Killed by a F.A.C.T. sniper.


Oriental Rib

Mortally wounded in a hoover accident


JFH

Also killed by the dyslexic F.A.C.T. sniper


Grix Thraves

Killed by a guy in a rabbit suit from another dimension.


Emitime

Killed by a large bird sent to him by a dyslexic music lover.


Celestine

Is deleted by Grix and never seen or heard from again.


C®ø§$ Bób

Finds a gun.


Chr1s

Renames himself and dies in obscurity.


Paradox:

Is killed by his gay alterego and it's girlfriend.


Chippxero

Murdered by staffies for breaking the secret code.


Stridman

Buried by Tiltawhirl under a pile of crap PS2 games.


Displayed

Hung out to dry (in the desert)


Sweet Tooth

Develops lethal gum rot


gerrid

Killed by a dog swinging a giant bell.


munn

Martyred by Daily Mail readers.


Highly Excitable

Dehydrates due to excessive premature ejaculation.


monkey_man

Throws crap at the wrong zoo keeper.


RoJ

Dies on the scales.


Hoju

Is ritually hung in red dungarees until he is dead.


English_Bloke

Killed by a great weight.


The Hibernator

Wakes up too early.


Cycloon

Dances to appease the thugs. Plan doesn't work.


SHEEPY

'Shafted'


Cong_Man

Chokes on lunch whilst reading the forums. Lunch's manager said to be dismayed.


Communist Jim

Wins StalinGad, is sent to siberai courtesy of SR


J Nash

Dies of a broken heart after Memo passes.


cweek2000

Killed by a delayed millennium bug.


Vampyr

Poisoned by Strykes virgin blood.


©H®I§

Murdered by Chr1s in highlander-style Chris-fight.


Pandaemonium

Preached to death.


Tiltawhirl

Shot in the shadows by a guy who knew there were ninja's out there.


-_V

Killed by a red bull.


Bullett

Jumps off dam after cookie etc. Onlookers WoWed.


Tphi

Doesn't string Hoju up very well, is killed by his falling corpse.


The Wardy

Loses his Mod status, is promptly killed by Rockers.


Clazon

Fails in the revolution.


Goatboy

Led out into the woods by Creepy, never seen again.


Light

God decides he made a mistake and goes with 'let there be skittles' instead.


Ashman

Self-combusts with irony


Lipe

Finds a ladder in his tights, is trampled by a confused Dudley team.


Ms NY

Dies of indecision.


lcarus

Runs out of sarcasm.


Silent Thunder

Drinks too much White Lightning


christoff

Is ritually hung, drawn and quartered by the staffies then thrown to the masses who stomp him into dust.


AbsoluT Neó

Done in by a hard-reset of the matrix.


Very_Metal

Rusts solid.


Blank

Assassinated by Microsoft over copyright issues with his autobiography 'About Blank'.


ßora† §agdiyeV

Killed by an adder (R.I ePos)


Coin

Spots he's being tailed and flips. Is shot in the head by the FBI men tailing him to bust him for counterfeiting.


tigamilla

Drowns at the equator.


Ineedsleep

Poisoned at a BBQ.


Reefer

Murdered by a caped man in a tiny village.


The Winster

Loses the will to live.


Grandprix

Accidentally injects formula 2.


SnoopDogg

Finished off by Dre.


Lou Bega

Caught cheating on his many girlfriends named in THAT song. Dismembered.


Chad Niga

Eliminated by the Democrats in Florida


Timmargh

Wheeled out to fight David Blunkett in ITV's new show.


Time_Warp

Beaten to a pulp by Rocky. Onlookers describe it as a 'horror show'.


cookie monster

Loses grip on reality, jumps off real dam for a laugh.


Red Hat

Hacked to death.


Marcini

Reaped at a psychiatrists


tiptopofhell

Impaled upon satan's mighty man gristle for all eternity.


Bob_The_Moose

Commits suicide after new show Antler and Dec fails to engage the public.


Suicide Soldier

Dies of dehydration playing Half-life 3


Notorious Biggles

Runs into Two Pac Shakira in a dark alley.


Creepy

Leads himself off into the woods.


Shadow

Killed by Light


Mr Snuggly

Finished by Dr Snuggles in a cage match.


sPiKeCaSt

Finally catches that whale with that spike. It doesn't go well.


soniabiker

Falls head over heels in love with the driver of the no 22 bus from Harlow. Was still on the bike at the time.

Hedfix wrote:
> Have you worked up the courage to tell your 'friends' you have a
> website yet?

Nope, not planning on doing it either. Plus of course you're gonna think it's 'sad' because you're the one who has spent the last couple of years at the top of an online posters list posting at people on the Internet.

I prefer to have real contact with people and in the real world people don't usually ask if you have websites all the time. In fact, I've never been asked if I have one, so there's no need for me to tell everyone. What will I gain? Nothing, I'll just bore everyone.

Hedfix wrote:
> Hmmmm, whilst I'm in the thread.
>
> Lawrence and Phillip, what exactly do you do?

I live in Jersey with my girlfriend, neither of us work and I get sex and games every day. I also get everything paid for me. It's an odd relationship between us though, because I'm sometimes on here until the early hours of the morning despite claiming to have already had sex just an hour or so earlier.

In fact saying that, your girlfriend must feel really valued.

"That was great love, now you go to sleep while I go and write random pointless messages at people on the Internet. Just to show you how much I care."

I would be but I'm off to work in a minute.

I don't. ;)

No seriously though, they obviously have some problem but they're fun to play with so I don't think about it too much.

You up for some Halo 2?

I'm still having trouble working out why everyone's so interested in Hedfix's life. Haven't you people got better things to be doing with your time?

Hmmmm, whilst I'm in the thread.

Lawrence and Phillip, what exactly do you do?

I'm guessing Phil does some embarrassing job he's afraid to tell people about and ends up being a glassy geek at the back of the bar who doesn't say much or start conversations.

Lawrence strikes me as someone who might have just scraped into A-levels but, judging by her posts, is having trouble keeping her grades high enough to stay in the second year.

and that's being generous.

Actually I was ready to post it as it was but I decided to add that because, once again, I knew you couldn't resist replying.

Have you worked up the courage to tell your 'friends' you have a website yet?

Now reading your original thoughts on that was very funny.

Green eyes? You're trying to imply I'm jealous of you!?

Hahahahahahah.

Well done, you got your first laugh which wasn't from yourself.

Made me laugh.

Stuff you lot.

That's always been my position.


Knew you couldn't resist replying by the way. It's the green eyes - dead give away.

Hedfix wrote:
> No I was just continuing the 'discussion' with some people obviously
> irritated by some things I'd said for a laugh.

Said for, but didn't get.

No I was just continuing the 'discussion' with some people obviously irritated by some things I'd said for a laugh.

You completely mis-read it.

I do like to stir-up the jealousy and some people just can't help themselves but reply. Yes I play games, yes I'm having sex every day and yes I'm currently looking for a job but having fun with my free time all the same.

Can't handle it? Life not treating you well enough? Then go cry to someone who cares.

Life isn't fair: deal with it or top yourself. I don't care which you choose.