Viewing Thread:
"How Far Is Too Far?"

I live in a reasonably unpleasant area. By which I mean the people are lowlives.

There are a lot of students, most of whom are fine.
There are decent families, same.
And decent other people.

And there are lowlives. I'm going to try to keep clear of labels like chavs, because not all the ash-holes are chavs (see the 'most of whom are fine', above), and not all the 'chavs' (by my definition at least) are ash-holes.
I've met a few who've seemed nice enough. And certainly plenty who don't go out of their way to be obnoxious to strangers.

But then there are the lowlives.
People who pick fights with random people on a night out, people who are offensive to strangers. People who ask for money in the street (not even homeless people, though I'm sure you all know the kind I mean) then hassle you when you refuse. Random kids who throw stones at passers-by.

I have no idea how far you can morally legitimately go in response to lowlife provocation,
or for that matter how far you should go.

But I'm pretty sick of soaking up bull***t from strangers.




So, general comments on how you personally would deal with these kinds of people please.



And a questionaire - What do you do when:


- You're walking alone at night, a stranger is highly offensive to you

- Same, but you're with your girlfriend


- Walking alone at night, someone acts in a threatening / intimidating manner towards you
i) If you think you could take him
ii) And if you couldn't

- Same, but you're with your girlfriend
i) Could take him
ii) Couldn't


- A couple of random kids throw stones at you as you're walking somewhere
i)You're alone
ii)You're with mates
iii)You're with girlfriend


- Someone stops you in the street and asks for a small amount of money, and is offensive to you if/when you refuse

- Same, but they ask to use your mobile



Some of the above scenarios have happened to me in the last couple of months, at keast one of each 'type', and I really don't know how you should deal with it, or how far you can reasonably go to protect your dignity

Hmm, can't be bothered to answer all the questions, but it's a sorespot for me too.

Unhtil recently, I just used to be the kind of person who would shrink away at stuff like that - it happens very often in Harlow, and barely a night would pass where you don't get some jumped up little twerp, whether drunk or just obnoxious, try to get inj your face and rile you. I'd just keep to myself and walk away.

Recently, however, I've changed my tune slightly. I still think violence is stupid is the last resort of the intelligent and the first resort of the ignorant. But that doesn't mean I'm going to take people's bull. Verbal abuse I can take, I'm enough of a man to let it bounce off me and am happy in the knowledge that I'll be the one tossing spare change into his hat in five years time.

Physical intimidation is another matter though. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a skinny little runt really, but I got to a point a while ago where I decided I wouldn't take any more abuse. Therefore, if anyone steps out of line, pushes me or any of my friends for no reason, then I will retaliate, simply because I can't stand the thought of these brainless morons getting away with it.

I always avoid confrontation with lowlives now. The reason being I have already had a nasty experience at the hands of some because I was trying to stand up for myself and my friends.

As long as they keep the abuse verbal, I can usually stop myself from doing something stupid. If one of them decided to hit me or something, I'm not sure how far I'd go, which is actually quite worrying.

Oh and if anyone threatens me to hand over anything I'd jst give them it.

No use dying for a tenner and my mobile.
The situation in my area really is... if somebody is going to attack you you'll get stabbed.

I could handle being beaten up to an extent but EVERYONE has knives here.

Do my best to avoid a fight at all costs, say no and walk on if they ask for money and try and protect my girlfriend without getting myself stabbed.

All they want is for you to react so don't give them the pleasure.

True, just go for the logical/most obvious choice. She ain't going to down on you for ducking out of an unwinnable fight.

Unless she also fancies the guy picking on you, in which case she might dump you for the better specimen.

As long as you:

-Aren't afraid of them.
-Deal with the issue in a way that you wouldn't expect from them.

You've kept your dignity.

Mumbai Duck wrote:

> If you're with your girlfriend, is she going to think less of you for
> just 'soaking up' crap from some to**er?
> And running like a pansy, with g/f in tow, just doesn't seem
> dignified. Would she look at you the same way afterwards?

In my experience they don't care at all. It's alot worse if you beat them up, because she'll see it as unprovoked no matter what happens. Like I said, get the sympathy.


> Would the police really care? Maybe they would - you can asbo the
> b*****ds now. Although their prospects of catching them may be slim,
> so the report could be pretty ineffectual...

The more reports, the more police and effort threy dedicate tio the issue.

Flock wrote:
> Maybe, depends on what for. I dont think anyone would expect them to
> be able do anything about it but it might just give them a little
> shock. Unfortunatly they'd probably see being in trouble with the
> police as a badge of honour.

Chances are if they are throwing stones at passers-by they will probably be known to the police, it's worth reporting. Hopefully social services will tear their families apart thus depressing the little SOBs enough that they don't want to go outside.

Mumbai Duck wrote:
> But would it be worth reporting it to the police?

Maybe, depends on what for. I dont think anyone would expect them to be able do anything about it but it might just give them a little shock. Unfortunatly they'd probably see being in trouble with the police as a badge of honour.

That's a good answer. And you can't really lose face in the girl's eyes if you're going out of your way to put yourself in the firing line.
I think.


But would it be worth reporting it to the police?