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"For Azul: How Juve will lose"

Azul added me on MSN to mock me about Juventus. It was nice of him to take the time out his busy Turin schedule to do this, but I have dredged my former Plan Of How To Win out from some random topic, probably started by me, and am going to elaborate on it. Especially for him. I even ran it through an Italian translation site so he could understand it if he wanted to do the same.

I didn't really.

Here is the plan.

Dr Baros (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Del Piero):

Can't really see Nedved getting intimidated. By anyone. At all. Our only hope is that he gets injured like he has a tendency to do before big matches. I say we slip a dirty dirty Roma player like Cassano a sly £1000 or so to stamp on his head or the like.

The only plus I can think of is that Del Piero isn't performing that well and Trezeguet is over-rated. Sadly, Ibrahimovic isn't.

They may play Kapo, who seems to be a waster in the Nunez vein. You can but hope. And Cisse knows him, according to Football Manager.

Also, this could be our plan. Brainwash Baros into thinking he's playing for the Czech Republic instead of Liverpool. This is so he will play well and not try to stamp on Thurams face or something like that and get sent off. This is backed up by shaving Morientes' head and pretending that he's Jan Koller and we signed him in the window on the sly. We need Cisse, obviously, because DangerMellor has caught rabies or something like that. So we lop off that really fast guy from Inter's leg (Obafemi Martins, or something like that) and splice it onto Cisse. He may be a little bit slower than Cisse (according to PES4), so Cisse will run around in circles. To use him as an effective weapon, we give Finnan a really long stick and he uses it to prod Cisse at people like Cammerersonsdiiansi. He's got silly hair anyway. Odds on God wants him to die.

At the match, Baros believes Nedved's performance is for the Republic and Koller is standing there, so he's inspired to Euro 2004 it up, Holland-style.. Then we send on Igor to rampage at will, perhaps breaking a rib here and there. Cannavaro for example. We also grow Dudek's hair, shave his face, grease him up a bit, and swop him for Buffon. Also without telling anyone.

Finally, we shoot Nunez, just to be sure he won't play.

Then we will win.

mattributé wrote:
> I can never see any side going to Italy and coming back with a win.
> Or, in this case, a draw.

your mate keano pulled it off :)

[URL]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/mandeep.bains/picsrv.manutd.jpg[/URL]

Not with Xabi picking out Meeelan with super-passes.

Actually, scratch what I said earlier. We can still win, just to pish Evertonians off. And Azul.

You might not be walking alone, but you'll be strolling out of the Champions League.

mattributé wrote:
> I can never see any side going to Italy and coming back with a win.
> Or, in this case, a draw.
>
> I'll hold out hope, though.

--

Walk on
WALK ON
with hope
in your heart
AND YOU'LL NEVERRRRR WALK ALONE MEEELLLAAANNNNNN

Ant wrote:
> Fantastic first half, absolutely loved it. Stripped off when Garcia
> scored

--

Please tell me you weren't in a public place. The ladies would never restrain themselves.

--

Nunez provided some much
> needed energy to our performance. He's really improved over the
> season.
--

I doubt that, but even if he has improved, he's only gone from really crap to quite crap.

I can never see any side going to Italy and coming back with a win. Or, in this case, a draw.

I'll hold out hope, though.

Fantastic first half, absolutely loved it. Stripped off when Garcia scored, what an amazing goal. As soon as Le Tallec played the pass, I knew it was in.

Everyone played their hearts out, though Le Tallec, Carragher and Finnan were the best out there. Hyypia should be our new striker.

And sorry Stryke, but Milan came off at the right time. He'd played great, but he looked tired 2nd half and Nunez provided some much needed energy to our performance. He's really improved over the season.

Well done lads...I really believe if we can get an away goal in the first half down in Turin, that we can make it to the Semis.

I hope Benitez gives him a run, actually. I know I feel a lot more confident when he's in net. Sell Miner Dudek in the summer to contribute to the transfer kitty, and let Kirkland and Carson duke it out for the No 1 shirt.

I mean literally fight for it. With knives.

Yeah, I was impressed with him.

If he hadn't faltered that one time, it would've been a superb performance.

He made an awesome save from Del Piero, and didn't dive for most saves.

He did well, just screwed up once. He was being controlled by a giant robot Dudek hive mind, probably.