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Ever fancied writing a sketch for Little Britain's Lou and Andy? well here your chance.. sort of.
All you have to do is write a short sketch and post it. The best sketch gets 5 bucks in their paypal account :)
Here's an example
*****************
NARRATOR: It's half pist sox and Lou and Andy are Eating out.
Lou: "Now Andy here's the Menu, what do you want?"
Andy: "I want that one..."
Lou: "But that's caviar Andy it's very expensive."
Andy: "Yeah I know..."
Lou: "Well why don't you have lobster then... you like lobster"
Andy: "But I want caviar.."
a while later...
Andy: "I dun like it... do they have any chips?"
*******************
Compo closed next Thursday, have fun
All you have to do is write a short sketch and post it. The best sketch gets 5 bucks in their paypal account :)
Here's an example
*****************
NARRATOR: It's half pist sox and Lou and Andy are Eating out.
Lou: "Now Andy here's the Menu, what do you want?"
Andy: "I want that one..."
Lou: "But that's caviar Andy it's very expensive."
Andy: "Yeah I know..."
Lou: "Well why don't you have lobster then... you like lobster"
Andy: "But I want caviar.."
a while later...
Andy: "I dun like it... do they have any chips?"
*******************
Compo closed next Thursday, have fun
Page:
Yeah, especially when you can get it on freeview and Sky is mainly pretty craptastic.
lol i know now let me do my sketch.
It is nine o'clock and lou and andy have gone to thorpe park.
Lou: Lets go and look at the map Andy to see what ride you want to go on.
Lou looks at map.
Andy: That one.
Lou: But thats Nemesis you don't like upside down rides you said they make you ill a dizzy.
Andy: Yeah I know.
Lou: You sure you want to go on it then.
Andy: Yeah.
On ride Andy throws up.
Andy: I don't like it.
It is nine o'clock and lou and andy have gone to thorpe park.
Lou: Lets go and look at the map Andy to see what ride you want to go on.
Lou looks at map.
Andy: That one.
Lou: But thats Nemesis you don't like upside down rides you said they make you ill a dizzy.
Andy: Yeah I know.
Lou: You sure you want to go on it then.
Andy: Yeah.
On ride Andy throws up.
Andy: I don't like it.
These are truly dire.
hm the one about the video game was ok... here's another one to inspire you.
NARRATOR: It's half past eighteen and Lou and Andy are being held hostage by some terrorisms.
TERRORIST: "Right our demands havent been met so someone must die"
ANDY: "Take me"
LOU: "but Andy you cant come back when you die"
ANDY: "Yeah I know...I want to go"
(Terrorist shoots Andy)
(Andy's ghost floats up to heaven)
ANDY: "I want my life back"
NARRATOR: It's half past eighteen and Lou and Andy are being held hostage by some terrorisms.
TERRORIST: "Right our demands havent been met so someone must die"
ANDY: "Take me"
LOU: "but Andy you cant come back when you die"
ANDY: "Yeah I know...I want to go"
(Terrorist shoots Andy)
(Andy's ghost floats up to heaven)
ANDY: "I want my life back"
NARRATOR: Lou's got a pay rise this week, so he's decided to take Andy to a brothel. I went to a brothel once, I was doing work experience with my sister.
ANDY: I want that one.
LOU: But you hate blondes, you say they're as smart as George Bush minus the rest of Corporate America. You told me they're as unappetising as mouldy Brussel Sprouts.
ANDY: Yeah I know.
LOU: Let's get you a brunette then shall we?
ANDY: I don't want a brunette, I want that one.
LOU: Well, why not?
ANDY: She's a brunette.
LOU: I thought you said on the way here that you really wanted a brunette.
ANDY: Yeah I know.
LOU: So you can have one do whatever you want.
ANDY: SICK BAST
ANDY: I want that one.
LOU: But you hate blondes, you say they're as smart as George Bush minus the rest of Corporate America. You told me they're as unappetising as mouldy Brussel Sprouts.
ANDY: Yeah I know.
LOU: Let's get you a brunette then shall we?
ANDY: I don't want a brunette, I want that one.
LOU: Well, why not?
ANDY: She's a brunette.
LOU: I thought you said on the way here that you really wanted a brunette.
ANDY: Yeah I know.
LOU: So you can have one do whatever you want.
ANDY: SICK BAST
NARRATOR - It's a nice sunny Sunday afternoon and Lou has taken Andy to the park.
LOU - Right Andy, what do you want to go on?
ANDY - *points to the slide* I wanna go on that one.
LOU - But you don't like the slide Andy, you say that it's like the drop down to hell. Why don't we go on the swings, you like the swings.
ANDY - I want to go slide.
LOU - But that will be a bit of a kufuffle.
ANDY - So.
LOU - Okay then, you sure you want to go on the slide?
ANDY - Yeah.
LOU - You don't want to go on the swings?
ANDY - No.
After a lot of trouble Lou finally get's Andy to the top of the slide and he is about to go down.
ANDY - I wanna go swing!
LOU - Right Andy, what do you want to go on?
ANDY - *points to the slide* I wanna go on that one.
LOU - But you don't like the slide Andy, you say that it's like the drop down to hell. Why don't we go on the swings, you like the swings.
ANDY - I want to go slide.
LOU - But that will be a bit of a kufuffle.
ANDY - So.
LOU - Okay then, you sure you want to go on the slide?
ANDY - Yeah.
LOU - You don't want to go on the swings?
ANDY - No.
After a lot of trouble Lou finally get's Andy to the top of the slide and he is about to go down.
ANDY - I wanna go swing!
NARRATOR - Bars were invented by Doctor Ian Smith in 1992 and have been popular ever since.
INT. ANDYS LIVING ROOM. WE SEE ANDY IN HIS WHEELCHAIR WATCHING TV AND LOU ON THE SOFA WITH THE DAILY PAPER
Lou - So Andy, where do you wanna go tonight? *opens paper and shows it to andy*
Andy - *points randomly* that one
Lou - Um, er, but that's a gay bar
Andy - Yeah I know
Lou - But you don't like Gays. You said they're evil, that people were designed by God to fulfill God's commands of producing children to continue his legacy.
Andy - Yeah I know
Lou - So wheres it gonna be? Look there's a nice new rainforest café in the Higstreet with monekeys and lions. How about that?
Andy - No, I want that one
EXT.LIVING ROOM TO ENTER GAY BAR. DAFFYD IS SITTING IN BACKGROUND WITH A BARCARDI AND COKE DRESSED IN OBVIOUSLY GAY ATTIRE.
Andy - I don't like it
Lou - Well you said you wanted to come here. Anyway we've brought the drinks now. I'm off to the loo, be back in a mo.
*Andy stands up picks up his wheelchair and swings it at the gay barman. Daffyd is standing looking over bar in horror. Lou returns.
Lou - Wer'd the Barman go?
Andy - Don't know.
Finish scene
INT. ANDYS LIVING ROOM. WE SEE ANDY IN HIS WHEELCHAIR WATCHING TV AND LOU ON THE SOFA WITH THE DAILY PAPER
Lou - So Andy, where do you wanna go tonight? *opens paper and shows it to andy*
Andy - *points randomly* that one
Lou - Um, er, but that's a gay bar
Andy - Yeah I know
Lou - But you don't like Gays. You said they're evil, that people were designed by God to fulfill God's commands of producing children to continue his legacy.
Andy - Yeah I know
Lou - So wheres it gonna be? Look there's a nice new rainforest café in the Higstreet with monekeys and lions. How about that?
Andy - No, I want that one
EXT.LIVING ROOM TO ENTER GAY BAR. DAFFYD IS SITTING IN BACKGROUND WITH A BARCARDI AND COKE DRESSED IN OBVIOUSLY GAY ATTIRE.
Andy - I don't like it
Lou - Well you said you wanted to come here. Anyway we've brought the drinks now. I'm off to the loo, be back in a mo.
*Andy stands up picks up his wheelchair and swings it at the gay barman. Daffyd is standing looking over bar in horror. Lou returns.
Lou - Wer'd the Barman go?
Andy - Don't know.
Finish scene
It's half past the final frontier and Lou is paying one of his regular visits to Andy.
Lou: Hiya Andy. I got those shelves you wanted!
Andy: Yeah I know!
Lou: I'll just put them up for you.
Lou: What do you think of the way they're arranged.
Andy: I don't like it.
Lou: But that's how that guy from changing rooms had his shelves. You said that his design was the closest to perfection a shelving arrangement can get!
Andy: Yeah I know!
Lou: Well I'm just going to the toilet a second, wont be long.
Lou: What happened?
Andy: They fell.
Lou: Hiya Andy. I got those shelves you wanted!
Andy: Yeah I know!
Lou: I'll just put them up for you.
Lou: What do you think of the way they're arranged.
Andy: I don't like it.
Lou: But that's how that guy from changing rooms had his shelves. You said that his design was the closest to perfection a shelving arrangement can get!
Andy: Yeah I know!
Lou:
Lou: What happened?
Andy: They fell.
le terroriste wrote:
> Yuri_Fan wrote:
> We can't be good at everything.
>
> In your case, anything.
Well, where's YOUR sketch?
> Yuri_Fan wrote:
> We can't be good at everything.
>
> In your case, anything.
Well, where's YOUR sketch?
El Magnífico wrote:
> NARRATOR - Bars were invented by Doctor Ian Smith in 1992 and have
> been popular ever since.
>
> INT. ANDYS LIVING ROOM. WE SEE ANDY IN HIS WHEELCHAIR WATCHING TV AND
> LOU ON THE SOFA WITH THE DAILY PAPER
>
> Lou - So Andy, where do you wanna go tonight? *opens paper and shows
> it to andy*
>
> Andy - *points randomly* that one
>
> Lou - Um, er, but that's a gay bar
>
> Andy - Yeah I know
>
> Lou - But you don't like Gays. You said they're evil, that people
> were designed by God to fulfill God's commands of producing children
> to continue his legacy.
>
> Andy - Yeah I know
>
> Lou - So wheres it gonna be? Look there's a nice new rainforest
> café in the Higstreet with monekeys and lions. How about
> that?
>
> Andy - No, I want that one
>
>
> EXT.LIVING ROOM TO ENTER GAY BAR. DAFFYD IS SITTING IN BACKGROUND
> WITH A BARCARDI AND COKE DRESSED IN OBVIOUSLY GAY ATTIRE.
>
> Andy - I don't like it
>
> Lou - Well you said you wanted to come here. Anyway we've brought
> the drinks now. I'm off to the loo, be back in a mo.
>
> *Andy stands up picks up his wheelchair and swings it at the gay
> barman. Daffyd is standing looking over bar in horror. Lou returns.
>
> Lou - Wer'd the Barman go?
>
> Andy - Don't know.
>
> Finish scene
This one is really funny... best yet
keep em comin folks...
I've decided to extend the closing date till tuesday, so more entrys can be sent in
> NARRATOR - Bars were invented by Doctor Ian Smith in 1992 and have
> been popular ever since.
>
> INT. ANDYS LIVING ROOM. WE SEE ANDY IN HIS WHEELCHAIR WATCHING TV AND
> LOU ON THE SOFA WITH THE DAILY PAPER
>
> Lou - So Andy, where do you wanna go tonight? *opens paper and shows
> it to andy*
>
> Andy - *points randomly* that one
>
> Lou - Um, er, but that's a gay bar
>
> Andy - Yeah I know
>
> Lou - But you don't like Gays. You said they're evil, that people
> were designed by God to fulfill God's commands of producing children
> to continue his legacy.
>
> Andy - Yeah I know
>
> Lou - So wheres it gonna be? Look there's a nice new rainforest
> café in the Higstreet with monekeys and lions. How about
> that?
>
> Andy - No, I want that one
>
>
> EXT.LIVING ROOM TO ENTER GAY BAR. DAFFYD IS SITTING IN BACKGROUND
> WITH A BARCARDI AND COKE DRESSED IN OBVIOUSLY GAY ATTIRE.
>
> Andy - I don't like it
>
> Lou - Well you said you wanted to come here. Anyway we've brought
> the drinks now. I'm off to the loo, be back in a mo.
>
> *Andy stands up picks up his wheelchair and swings it at the gay
> barman. Daffyd is standing looking over bar in horror. Lou returns.
>
> Lou - Wer'd the Barman go?
>
> Andy - Don't know.
>
> Finish scene
This one is really funny... best yet
keep em comin folks...
I've decided to extend the closing date till tuesday, so more entrys can be sent in
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