Viewing Thread:
"Joke Thread"

Another Joke Thread and yet again, I make this from boredom.

Your goal: To post a better joke than the person before you (pretty hard to tell)

avoid the short ones..they aren't very good

I'll start off:
oh cr@p I've lost my joke book.

Ohwell.......

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled "we were counting today and all the other kids could only count to 4, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!
Very good, said her Mother.
Is it because I'm blonde? "Yes, it's because your blonde," said the Mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. " Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, all all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,B,C,D,E,F,G!
"Very Good," said her Mother.
Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?
"Yes it's because your blond!
The following day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in Gym class today, and when we showered all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" She lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36C's.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24."

An elderly man, Willy, mimes driving a car as runs around the halls of a retirement home. An orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he's doing.

Willy replies, "I'm going to Chicago for the weekend."

The orderly chuckles and enters Bob's room to check on him. He catchs Bob pleasuring himself, when asked what he is doing, Bob replies,"I'm screwing Willy's old lady while he's away in Chicago."

Thank you good sir.

Squall wrote:
>
> The mother replied, "Please be quiet, Fridge."

Brilliant. Quite Brilliant.

One day, in a small Red Indian camp, three of the camp's children go to the chief to ask him a question...

One of them says "Chief, how do you name all the kids in the camp?"

The chief replies "I simply hold them up in front of me, and whatever I see behind them is what I call them. Your friend on the left here is called 'flowing river' and your friend on the right is called 'rays of sunshine'.

"Why do you ask, '2 dogs f**king'?

Whitestripes X wrote:
>
> "Rape" replies the second man.

hahaha

What did the policeman say to his stomach?

You're under a vest.

Whitestripes X wrote:
> "Rape" replies the second man.

Ahaha, what a guy.

Two men walk into a pub.
"Wow, this pub is full of beautiful women!" says one man.
"I could have any of these women" says the other.
"Really?" says the first man, "what's you're stratergy then?" he asks.






"Rape" replies the second man.

JFH does like chickens what a surprise to me.