Viewing Thread:
"British Movies Are Bad"

As a movie fanatic, I can say without exception that Brit movies of the past 15 years suck.
And suck hard.
Even Bollywood produces better films than we do, which is saying something.

So why are they so god-awful?
Lack of imagination.
We have 3 genres, without exception. And they are:

Romantic Comedy:
This will star either Hugh Grant or John Hannah and some American woman being “real” and taking poor money for credibility.
Plot?
Bloke falls for woman, she doesn’t feel the same. But she will. Minor obstacles to over-come ending with declaration of affection usually
(a) In the rain
(b) In public place ending with spontaneous applause and smiles from old people.

Period Drama:
This will star Emma Thompson, Colin Firth and Celia Imrie.
Plot?
Upper-Class woman feel trapped by society and is drawn towards unsuitable lower-class bloke that gardens or sells meat.
Parents disapprove initially but will thaw toward end. Meddling companions will attempt to sabotage course of true love, but will fail.
American love this tosh and think we all still wear white lace dresses and ride horses, whilst the men have massive sideburns and stand in front of fires drinking port.

Gangster Flick:
This will star
(a) Sit-com star desperate for credible acting debut
(b) Several faces from old kids programmes like Press Gang
Plot?
Cockney villains bungle a heist/bank job/hijacking and spend the next 60 mins swearing at each other and being chased by inept policeman to the latest indie-band theme tune.
People think this is funny and original because they have never seen The Long Good Friday or Get Carter.
Even Michael Caine said “Me and Bob Hoskins made the best 3 British Gangster movies, and we were in one together. The rest is laughable”


That is why British movies are bad, Guy Ritchie is NOT the exception. If you think he’s cool and real, go watch Mean Streets, Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction and Long Good Friday to see who got there 1st and did it better.

I think you're being a bit harsh on British films. I'd much rather watch a gritty British drama than an over the top Hollywood effort - take Love, Honour and Obey for instance - that was a great gangster movie and a credit to British talent when you consider the cast were all improvising.

Absolutely.
Trust Goatboy on this one, it's original, funny, dramatic and Winstone wearing yellow pants and sunburnt.

You know it makes sense.

Goatboy wrote:
Sexy Beast was fantastic.

Ray Winstone
> as retired gangster in the sun, Ben Kingsley as a pyscho trying to
> lure him back.

Well written, beautifully shot and original.
Just
> watch the opening where a massive boulder rolls downhill and flies
> over Winstone's head.


Mmmm... it might be worth popping over to the video shop later on then?

Pretty much everything.

Except for Emineminem, he's all U$A and they're welcome to it.

Sexy Beast was fantastic.

Ray Winstone as retired gangster in the sun, Ben Kingsley as a pyscho trying to lure him back.

Well written, beautifully shot and original.
Just watch the opening where a massive boulder rolls downhill and flies over Winstone's head.

Mr.Snuggly wrote:
> The thing that gets me is that whenever we produce a nice,
> successful British movie, the Americans rush in and take the credit
> for it, saying it was made with 'American money'. So the British

mmmm...

The British do something and the Americans take all the credit...

mmmm ...

What does that remind me of???

Goatboy wrote:
But Sexy Beast escaped the net,
> yet only about 13 people saw this one.

It's the best Brit
> Gangster flick since The Long Good Friday, seriously
> entertaining.

Sexy Beast was a gangster flick?!?...

I didnt see the movie... but the TV trailers definitly left that part of the movie out

:)

And Gladiator was directed by a Brit, starred a NZ bloke, had Oliver Reed, Derek Jacobi and many, many Brits.
The only Hollywood involvement was money and distribution.

I'd claim that as a brit-movie myself.

And I agree with the U$A wading in and taking the credit when we do get it right.
But Sexy Beast escaped the net, yet only about 13 people saw this one.

It's the best Brit Gangster flick since The Long Good Friday, seriously entertaining.

Seek it out and you'll see why I abhor:

Your Dead
Circus

etc

Oh me too Snuggly, me too....er...hang on

And anyway, I love Snatch.

The thing that gets me is that whenever we produce a nice, successful British movie, the Americans rush in and take the credit for it, saying it was made with 'American money'. So the British actors, directors, crew and locations don't make it British then?

For an example, see The English Patient (if you can stand four odd hours of pap, that is)