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As a movie fanatic, I can say without exception that Brit movies of the past 15 years suck.
And suck hard.
Even Bollywood produces better films than we do, which is saying something.
So why are they so god-awful?
Lack of imagination.
We have 3 genres, without exception. And they are:
Romantic Comedy:
This will star either Hugh Grant or John Hannah and some American woman being “real” and taking poor money for credibility.
Plot?
Bloke falls for woman, she doesn’t feel the same. But she will. Minor obstacles to over-come ending with declaration of affection usually
(a) In the rain
(b) In public place ending with spontaneous applause and smiles from old people.
Period Drama:
This will star Emma Thompson, Colin Firth and Celia Imrie.
Plot?
Upper-Class woman feel trapped by society and is drawn towards unsuitable lower-class bloke that gardens or sells meat.
Parents disapprove initially but will thaw toward end. Meddling companions will attempt to sabotage course of true love, but will fail.
American love this tosh and think we all still wear white lace dresses and ride horses, whilst the men have massive sideburns and stand in front of fires drinking port.
Gangster Flick:
This will star
(a) Sit-com star desperate for credible acting debut
(b) Several faces from old kids programmes like Press Gang
Plot?
Cockney villains bungle a heist/bank job/hijacking and spend the next 60 mins swearing at each other and being chased by inept policeman to the latest indie-band theme tune.
People think this is funny and original because they have never seen The Long Good Friday or Get Carter.
Even Michael Caine said “Me and Bob Hoskins made the best 3 British Gangster movies, and we were in one together. The rest is laughable”
That is why British movies are bad, Guy Ritchie is NOT the exception. If you think he’s cool and real, go watch Mean Streets, Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction and Long Good Friday to see who got there 1st and did it better.
And suck hard.
Even Bollywood produces better films than we do, which is saying something.
So why are they so god-awful?
Lack of imagination.
We have 3 genres, without exception. And they are:
Romantic Comedy:
This will star either Hugh Grant or John Hannah and some American woman being “real” and taking poor money for credibility.
Plot?
Bloke falls for woman, she doesn’t feel the same. But she will. Minor obstacles to over-come ending with declaration of affection usually
(a) In the rain
(b) In public place ending with spontaneous applause and smiles from old people.
Period Drama:
This will star Emma Thompson, Colin Firth and Celia Imrie.
Plot?
Upper-Class woman feel trapped by society and is drawn towards unsuitable lower-class bloke that gardens or sells meat.
Parents disapprove initially but will thaw toward end. Meddling companions will attempt to sabotage course of true love, but will fail.
American love this tosh and think we all still wear white lace dresses and ride horses, whilst the men have massive sideburns and stand in front of fires drinking port.
Gangster Flick:
This will star
(a) Sit-com star desperate for credible acting debut
(b) Several faces from old kids programmes like Press Gang
Plot?
Cockney villains bungle a heist/bank job/hijacking and spend the next 60 mins swearing at each other and being chased by inept policeman to the latest indie-band theme tune.
People think this is funny and original because they have never seen The Long Good Friday or Get Carter.
Even Michael Caine said “Me and Bob Hoskins made the best 3 British Gangster movies, and we were in one together. The rest is laughable”
That is why British movies are bad, Guy Ritchie is NOT the exception. If you think he’s cool and real, go watch Mean Streets, Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction and Long Good Friday to see who got there 1st and did it better.
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lol@Goatboy
tiger!
tiger!
Let us reveal our forbidden love and damn the consequences
Goatboy wrote:
>Damn you're good.
Hey... I thought you said our sexual liaisons were only to be between the two of us?!?!
:)
>Damn you're good.
Hey... I thought you said our sexual liaisons were only to be between the two of us?!?!
:)
Bang on mate.
Damn you're good.
Rerelease The Long Good Friday, Get Carter, Mona Lisa and Brighton Rock at the flicks, let them see what class smells like
Damn you're good.
Rerelease The Long Good Friday, Get Carter, Mona Lisa and Brighton Rock at the flicks, let them see what class smells like
I'm not historically a big fan of gangster movies...
If its directed by Scorcese, or has Cain in the credits I'll definitly take a viewing, othwerise, I can take them or leave them...
So I p[robalby shouldnt be posting... however...
I find the problem with British ganster movies (ninties British ganster movies)...
Apart from all attempting to be a carbon of Lock Stock...
Is that they are made for the Loaded generation...
The sort of middle class surburbanites, who live mainly in the commuter belt and have little else to do apart from swear that their uncle is italian and has connections with the Mafia...
Which I know is kinda sweeping, overly broad statement, but its the inital mistake of the flicks...
The films are always far too 'happy ending', the main characters, are too polished. and too much tgime is spent making them likeable, cheeky cockney chappies.
The films themselves are often too storyline driven. Although the characters are introduced at the beginning of the movie, as if important to the flick, they are never developed thoughout the rest of the movie and remain as two-dimensional and unknown as they were at the start.
Theres nothing wrong with this type of movie, with a few bevvies and a curry, Lock Stock will happily pass an hour and a half...
Despite teir premise, there not really Ganster flicks per se. Having more in common with Shooting Fish, Home Alone, etc.. than they do with your average Scorcese effort
If its directed by Scorcese, or has Cain in the credits I'll definitly take a viewing, othwerise, I can take them or leave them...
So I p[robalby shouldnt be posting... however...
I find the problem with British ganster movies (ninties British ganster movies)...
Apart from all attempting to be a carbon of Lock Stock...
Is that they are made for the Loaded generation...
The sort of middle class surburbanites, who live mainly in the commuter belt and have little else to do apart from swear that their uncle is italian and has connections with the Mafia...
Which I know is kinda sweeping, overly broad statement, but its the inital mistake of the flicks...
The films are always far too 'happy ending', the main characters, are too polished. and too much tgime is spent making them likeable, cheeky cockney chappies.
The films themselves are often too storyline driven. Although the characters are introduced at the beginning of the movie, as if important to the flick, they are never developed thoughout the rest of the movie and remain as two-dimensional and unknown as they were at the start.
Theres nothing wrong with this type of movie, with a few bevvies and a curry, Lock Stock will happily pass an hour and a half...
Despite teir premise, there not really Ganster flicks per se. Having more in common with Shooting Fish, Home Alone, etc.. than they do with your average Scorcese effort
I agree that Ritchie does have a talent there somewhere.
And yes, Mclean was inspired.
But Ritchie needs to stop lifting entire sequences from other movies and come up with his own bits.
He can do it, the boxing finale in Snatch was very, very good. Trainspotting when he fell into the water, but good.
However, Lock Stock...the card game was from Casino/Mean Streets and any other Scorcese movie you can mention.
Dialogue was stolen from Long Good Friday, as were most of the elder cast members.
Go watch the character Harry The Hatchet when he was in LGF as Razors.
I think the US can do crime flicks, because they are surrounded by it.
But these Brits, I get the impression that they've never seen a crime, let alone been in one.
It's written like a student play mostly.
And for the Love, Honour and Obey, Bang Bang you're dead, Circus etc etc, variations on a theme.
We do have the talent and skill to do it.
Memento was directed by a Brit based on a short story by his brother.
Now THERE is an original,striking movie that borrows from nothing and exists as something startlingly original.
It just needs those people with the courage to do something different, and the courage from money men to back it.
And, most of all, courage from the audience to watch them.
It is a nightmare trying to fund a script that isn't Lock, Stock or Four Weddings.
Nobody is interested unless they see guns, jokes and Vinnie Jones.
Which is why we play safe, and end up selling out to Hollywood, albeit independant companies, because they have the guts to risk.
The best films of last year were not seen by anyone that matters.
Requiem for a Dream
Sexy Beast
Memento
Fight Club
These are quality films that take risks, and they did zero box office, even Fight Club ultimately bombed with the box office.
Sad but true
And yes, Mclean was inspired.
But Ritchie needs to stop lifting entire sequences from other movies and come up with his own bits.
He can do it, the boxing finale in Snatch was very, very good. Trainspotting when he fell into the water, but good.
However, Lock Stock...the card game was from Casino/Mean Streets and any other Scorcese movie you can mention.
Dialogue was stolen from Long Good Friday, as were most of the elder cast members.
Go watch the character Harry The Hatchet when he was in LGF as Razors.
I think the US can do crime flicks, because they are surrounded by it.
But these Brits, I get the impression that they've never seen a crime, let alone been in one.
It's written like a student play mostly.
And for the Love, Honour and Obey, Bang Bang you're dead, Circus etc etc, variations on a theme.
We do have the talent and skill to do it.
Memento was directed by a Brit based on a short story by his brother.
Now THERE is an original,striking movie that borrows from nothing and exists as something startlingly original.
It just needs those people with the courage to do something different, and the courage from money men to back it.
And, most of all, courage from the audience to watch them.
It is a nightmare trying to fund a script that isn't Lock, Stock or Four Weddings.
Nobody is interested unless they see guns, jokes and Vinnie Jones.
Which is why we play safe, and end up selling out to Hollywood, albeit independant companies, because they have the guts to risk.
The best films of last year were not seen by anyone that matters.
Requiem for a Dream
Sexy Beast
Memento
Fight Club
These are quality films that take risks, and they did zero box office, even Fight Club ultimately bombed with the box office.
Sad but true
>Yet another Brit Gangster Flick made by people that have, >at most, shoplifted a mars bar when they were 11.
But then remember it's not always the guys that make it who count towards the realism of the gangster feeling. Thinking away from direction, and more towards casting.
Lock Stock for instance featured the late Lenny McLean and many others. That guy was a heavyweight bare knuckle champion of the world, and you can tell. He is perfect for that sort of film and is one of the main influences on the realism.
Vinnie Jones of course is a well recognised hard man too.
Then you take someone like Joe Pesci. Great actor - played the mental tough guy well in Goodfellas and Casino - but he just didn't quite fit the bill on certain occasions - just because he looks a bit small and harmless.
But this is just one area of thought.
Maybe some people like the way the little american chappy works - because people don't see him coming.
For me, it would be hard to choose Goodfellas over Lock Stock as the better film. Guy may not have the skill and vision of Martin, but he sure does have talent. A lot of it.
What does anyone else think?
But then remember it's not always the guys that make it who count towards the realism of the gangster feeling. Thinking away from direction, and more towards casting.
Lock Stock for instance featured the late Lenny McLean and many others. That guy was a heavyweight bare knuckle champion of the world, and you can tell. He is perfect for that sort of film and is one of the main influences on the realism.
Vinnie Jones of course is a well recognised hard man too.
Then you take someone like Joe Pesci. Great actor - played the mental tough guy well in Goodfellas and Casino - but he just didn't quite fit the bill on certain occasions - just because he looks a bit small and harmless.
But this is just one area of thought.
Maybe some people like the way the little american chappy works - because people don't see him coming.
For me, it would be hard to choose Goodfellas over Lock Stock as the better film. Guy may not have the skill and vision of Martin, but he sure does have talent. A lot of it.
What does anyone else think?
I just dont get why we make these movies?
They are, invariably, terrible.
Sexy Beast rocked, but that was original.
The new poster said gritty drama...I class Ken Loach and Mike Leigh in that catagory.
There are loads of UK movies doing something different, but we just never get to see them.
I usually go to The Curzon in Shaftesbury Av to see these little movies.
And if anyone gets the chance, go watch
Dark Days
That is an astonishing film/documentary
They are, invariably, terrible.
Sexy Beast rocked, but that was original.
The new poster said gritty drama...I class Ken Loach and Mike Leigh in that catagory.
There are loads of UK movies doing something different, but we just never get to see them.
I usually go to The Curzon in Shaftesbury Av to see these little movies.
And if anyone gets the chance, go watch
Dark Days
That is an astonishing film/documentary
Yeah, I thought that was a bit pants too. I particularly hated Jude Law's 'East End Wide Boy' act, and this was when Rhys Ifans had top appear in every 'Brit Flick' made, it was mandatory. Lock Stock has a hell of a lot to answer for.
I'll be nice because you're new and I can be a little vocal in my posts.
I didnt like that movie at all. I found it to be one of the most self-indulgent, embarassingly smug films I've ever walked out of the cinema on.
But that's just my opinion, I'm not attacking you or saying I'm right....just that I didn't like it.
Yet another Brit Gangster Flick made by people that have, at most, shoplifted a mars bar when they were 11.
I didnt like that movie at all. I found it to be one of the most self-indulgent, embarassingly smug films I've ever walked out of the cinema on.
But that's just my opinion, I'm not attacking you or saying I'm right....just that I didn't like it.
Yet another Brit Gangster Flick made by people that have, at most, shoplifted a mars bar when they were 11.
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