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"A little advice"

If your girlfriend or wife or fiance (or whatever) wants to wear a skimpy top, skirt or anything skimpy like that in the outside world ie not in the bedroom or house what would you guys do? The same question goes to the girls but is obviously reversed.

Thanatos wrote:

> This is the part I still don't understand, surely she should know
> what she's worth to me,

I didn't mean the image you have of her, I meant her own perception of how she feels and looks based on what she is wearing.

> I did propose to her after all!

Did she accept the proposal? Are you engaged?

> As for looking good, she's fantastic looking and I tell her that more
> often than not, I want her to feel and know that she's beautiful and
> worth everything to me, I keep telling her but it doesn't work,

I'm not exactly sure about this bit. I understand that you compliment her a lot and let her know how you feel but I don't understand "it doesn't work". Did you mean that telling her all this it doesn't make her leave the house dressed in an ankle length skirt, long sleeved blouse buttoned up to the throat, trench coat, granny boots, woolly hat and no make up?

:D

> why would dressing that way for other guys help?

Did she tell you that she dresses that way for other guys or is that assumption on your part?

> It doesn't help me thats for damn sure, I know I'm not the best looking
> (nowhere near it) and it really hurts knowing that I could lose her to a
> better looking guy, what hurts even more is that by dressing in the way
> that increases her self-worth and confidence she also increases the
> chance of dropping me and going out with a better looking guy so why is
> she in this relationship?

I'll post my thoughts on this when you answer my question on the engagement.

Ineedsleep wrote:

> I actually already mentioned this. Not knowing either of you or the
> relationship you have I have to go with the most obvious reply which
> is that she wants to dress like that because she knows she looks
> good. Its all to do with confidence, self image and self worth.

This is the part I still don't understand, surely she should know what she's worth to me, I did propose to her after all! As for looking good, she's fantastic looking and I tell her that more often than not, I want her to feel and know that she's beautiful and worth everything to me, I keep telling her but it doesn't work, why would dressing that way for other guys help? It doesn't help me thats for damn sure, I know I'm not the best looking (nowhere near it) and it really hurts knowing that I could lose her to a better looking guy, what hurts even more is that by dressing in the way that increases her self-worth and confidence she also increases the chance of dropping me and going out with a better looking guy so why is she in this relationship?

By the way, are you male or female? It was your last comment about guys logic that started to puzzle me as to your gender.

fair dos, don't blame you :-D

Thought I'd get it in while I had the chance :D

Ineedsleep wrote:

> I'd say no to this as well but its your logic and who the hell can
> work out a guys logic?


woah where did all these black pots and kettles come from? :-D

Thanatos wrote:

> question I have is why would she want to dress provocatively so that other > people will notice her?

I actually already mentioned this. Not knowing either of you or the relationship you have I have to go with the most obvious reply which is that she wants to dress like that because she knows she looks good. Its all to do with confidence, self image and self worth.

> Surely she should only want dress like that for me in the confines of our
> house?

No. No female should wear everyday clothing for a partner. The ONLY time she should dress for you in the confines of your own house is if she was teasing you in a prelude to some intimate fun and games.

> Otherwise why exactly is she in a relationship with me? That logic would
> state that I'm being used, correct?

I'd say no to this as well but its your logic and who the hell can work out a guys logic?

satans little helper wrote:
> What about if your boyfriend/fiancee/husband wants to wear a skimpy
> top, skirt or anything of the sort?

I think I addressed that did I not? Hmmm, look at the bottom of my original post!

What about if your boyfriend/fiancee/husband wants to wear a skimpy top, skirt or anything of the sort?

Reefer wrote:
> Thanny, you're becoming a controlling ego-maniac. Be careful, my
> friend, and let her do what the hell she wants.
>
> Within reason ;0)

I know that I'm controlling, the ego-maniac thing? You're probably right as well. Easier to say 'fix it' than to actually do it amigo.

Ineedsleep wrote:
> Thanatos wrote:
> What if you don't like the idea of other guys oogling her
>
> This isn't her problem it's yours. She should dress to please
> herself not anyone else. You dress provocatively to get noticed (its
> good for the ego) and because you like to dress like that as it makes
> you feel good / confident /sexy.
>
> How strong is your relationship? You need to trust her and cope with
> your own insecurities.

I know its my problem, I need other people like you, people who I don't really know to tell me this stuff, I'm not completely insecure about it, I know that she will ALWAYS go home with me at the end of the night, our realtionship is very strong and I do trust her. The question I have is why would she want to dress provocatively so that other people will notice her? Surely she should only want dress like that for me in the confines of our house? Otherwise why exactly is she in a relationship with me? That logic would state that I'm being used, correct?