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"I have concrete stuck in my teeth"

I've chewed my nails as far as they'll go withstanding pain, and I still can't get it out.

I was smashing the floor earlier with an axe and it kinda got everywhere. I was doing it for a reason too, I'm not psychotic... although I'm not that sure what the reason was. Something to do with a leak.

How's your day been?

That's nothing, I removed my stomach once and spent the whole day having to kneed my belly to digest food.

I've put it back now though

:-D

I performed a heart bypass on myself with a butter knife last week.

I played the Library level on Halo as an anesthetic.

I've done that too, ingrown toenail thing, it bleeds quite a bit... all fine now though, so it's worth it

I didnt pee myself, much.

It would be even more perfect if you had pished yourself.

You, duh.

Timmargh-sprawling-esque dives and other such activities.

Me or Mister Grix ?

You've been reading too much of what Timmargh's been saying.

oh and I fell out of the shower dramatically. I slipped and fell backwards, arms spread wide, (probably in slow motion) and brought the whole shower curtain and rail down with me.