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Well as many of you know by now I'm your resident gay member and I have been having some relationship problems as of late. In fact it's been scheisse. I have been going out with my PERFECT boyfriend for the past 3 months (on the 16th on this month) and it's been amazing being with him. However on Wednesday I made a big mistake.
My ex called Chris well...my new guy is very protective of me around him as Chris has tried while we're going out, to err get at me. So I said to Mark look if you're that bothered about Chris, I'll never see him again. He's my past and you're my future. Mark declined though and said "No he's been a good friend to you for near enough 3 years now I don't want to be the reason you stop seeing him.
I just left it at that after and me and Mark continued our great relationship. We had plans to move in with each other in Mid-october, we both gave up uni for it and he's working his ass of working anti-social ours to get the initial money until I start saving from a part time job i plan to get on Tuesday.
He only gets Wednesdays off from this job and we planned to spend everyone together. Just being together...it's all I ever want. However on his first wednesday off I made the biggest mistake of my life.
I spent a great day as always with him and I decided to end the night by taking him to an Edinburgh gay bar (habanas) as he hadn't seen any of Edinburgh's. When we were there we started drinking and having a good time when my ex-Chris came in. I told Mark who he was and said to Mark "Don't worry I wont come back for a drink with him".
After a couple of hours Mark had to go home. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him so I convinced him to stay for a while longer and get the late train home. Eventually he had to go though so I walked him to the train station, hugged him, kissed him, told him how much I loved him and said goodbye. Seconds later Chris phoned and said "Why don't you come back for one drink? There's a pineapple bacardi waiting for you" I said no but then he said "For god's sake! You've got to have a life outside Mark you know"...so I reconsidered and joined him for one drink, two if you count the bottle of volvic I bought for the walk home.
While I was there though Mark phoned my mobile. I said "Hey babe, sorry I'm at Haban...." and he hung up on me. I thought he was just a bit annoyed at me for going back for a drink but I still felt like crap that I'd caused the one man I truely love to feel like that so I walked home and couldn't get to sleep. I tried phoning and texting him but he answered and replied to nothing. It just made me feel worse and worse and I knew he must be angry about something else too.
I got up the next day and the first thing I checked was my phone to see if he got back to me and he hadn't so I went on MSN were he explained all. I promised him I would never see Chris again if that's what he wanted a while ago he was upset that I went back to see him after Habanas. I was sure Mark said he didn't want me to stop seeing Chris so I didn't give it much thought but now I know I should have kept that promise regardless and I am keeping it now.
Mark says he lost his trust in me that night and now we don't have a relationship...it hurt me so so much to see him say that. It was terrible.
I felt so bad for hurting him and I didn't know what to do. However, he did talk to me again. In fact I met Mark again yesterday. He phoned me at 1:00am after work and after talking for an hour-hour and a half he asked if I wanted to come and see him. I always said I was just a phonecall away and I went to see him a few hours later (got there at 12 noon). At first it was hard but I knew it would be. We talked about it at the start and decided just to put it behind us and try and get back what we had (we're not breaking up!!! YES!) I was so relieved when I heard that and it made me so so happy to be given the chance to make him happy again.
He say's it's going to be hard and I can understand why it will be but I'm sure we'll work through it. I can't afford us not to, I made a mistake and although I can't change it. We all learn from our mistakes and take something from it, I took the lesson that I can never ever do anything to jeapordise our relationship again. I love him far far too much to ever lose him.
I'm sure when he saw me he must have been able to see how much I was hurting, how truely sorry I was and there must have been some part of him that saw that I'd learnt my lesson, even if it was the hard way.
The only problem now is earning his trust again. It's going to be so so hard, I have to earn his trust again and he has to learn to trust again. All I want though is our relationship as it was. Perfect, just like him.
He works 8 till 8 Sat and Sun after a 6 till midnight work shift on Friday. I've never spent so long not talking to him before and considering the circumstances I'm sure you can understand how much I miss him and want to talk to him. I want to be with him so much. Earlier on I couldn't really take it. It felt so bad just wanting to phone him but knowing he was at work. I needed a distraction and I turned to something I never have before.
I decided to self harm, not properly really. I didn't drag a stanley knife across my skin. I was smoking at the time and I stubbed it out on my wrist. The pain of the burn took away some of the mental pain but now I realise it was just a distraction and now I have to cover the burn scar. I'm not sure if I regret it because it made me feel better for a few moments but I just don't know what to do. It's so frustrating knowing you'd do anything for someone, knowing they could trust you and that you'd die for them and them not to trust you back. I just love him so much and want him to love me like he did before. I just feel so bad right now.
I don't know what you're all going to make of this post and I don't know what kind of responses I'm wanting but I just wanted to talk to some people about it. Thanks for your time.
My ex called Chris well...my new guy is very protective of me around him as Chris has tried while we're going out, to err get at me. So I said to Mark look if you're that bothered about Chris, I'll never see him again. He's my past and you're my future. Mark declined though and said "No he's been a good friend to you for near enough 3 years now I don't want to be the reason you stop seeing him.
I just left it at that after and me and Mark continued our great relationship. We had plans to move in with each other in Mid-october, we both gave up uni for it and he's working his ass of working anti-social ours to get the initial money until I start saving from a part time job i plan to get on Tuesday.
He only gets Wednesdays off from this job and we planned to spend everyone together. Just being together...it's all I ever want. However on his first wednesday off I made the biggest mistake of my life.
I spent a great day as always with him and I decided to end the night by taking him to an Edinburgh gay bar (habanas) as he hadn't seen any of Edinburgh's. When we were there we started drinking and having a good time when my ex-Chris came in. I told Mark who he was and said to Mark "Don't worry I wont come back for a drink with him".
After a couple of hours Mark had to go home. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him so I convinced him to stay for a while longer and get the late train home. Eventually he had to go though so I walked him to the train station, hugged him, kissed him, told him how much I loved him and said goodbye. Seconds later Chris phoned and said "Why don't you come back for one drink? There's a pineapple bacardi waiting for you" I said no but then he said "For god's sake! You've got to have a life outside Mark you know"...so I reconsidered and joined him for one drink, two if you count the bottle of volvic I bought for the walk home.
While I was there though Mark phoned my mobile. I said "Hey babe, sorry I'm at Haban...." and he hung up on me. I thought he was just a bit annoyed at me for going back for a drink but I still felt like crap that I'd caused the one man I truely love to feel like that so I walked home and couldn't get to sleep. I tried phoning and texting him but he answered and replied to nothing. It just made me feel worse and worse and I knew he must be angry about something else too.
I got up the next day and the first thing I checked was my phone to see if he got back to me and he hadn't so I went on MSN were he explained all. I promised him I would never see Chris again if that's what he wanted a while ago he was upset that I went back to see him after Habanas. I was sure Mark said he didn't want me to stop seeing Chris so I didn't give it much thought but now I know I should have kept that promise regardless and I am keeping it now.
Mark says he lost his trust in me that night and now we don't have a relationship...it hurt me so so much to see him say that. It was terrible.
I felt so bad for hurting him and I didn't know what to do. However, he did talk to me again. In fact I met Mark again yesterday. He phoned me at 1:00am after work and after talking for an hour-hour and a half he asked if I wanted to come and see him. I always said I was just a phonecall away and I went to see him a few hours later (got there at 12 noon). At first it was hard but I knew it would be. We talked about it at the start and decided just to put it behind us and try and get back what we had (we're not breaking up!!! YES!) I was so relieved when I heard that and it made me so so happy to be given the chance to make him happy again.
He say's it's going to be hard and I can understand why it will be but I'm sure we'll work through it. I can't afford us not to, I made a mistake and although I can't change it. We all learn from our mistakes and take something from it, I took the lesson that I can never ever do anything to jeapordise our relationship again. I love him far far too much to ever lose him.
I'm sure when he saw me he must have been able to see how much I was hurting, how truely sorry I was and there must have been some part of him that saw that I'd learnt my lesson, even if it was the hard way.
The only problem now is earning his trust again. It's going to be so so hard, I have to earn his trust again and he has to learn to trust again. All I want though is our relationship as it was. Perfect, just like him.
He works 8 till 8 Sat and Sun after a 6 till midnight work shift on Friday. I've never spent so long not talking to him before and considering the circumstances I'm sure you can understand how much I miss him and want to talk to him. I want to be with him so much. Earlier on I couldn't really take it. It felt so bad just wanting to phone him but knowing he was at work. I needed a distraction and I turned to something I never have before.
I decided to self harm, not properly really. I didn't drag a stanley knife across my skin. I was smoking at the time and I stubbed it out on my wrist. The pain of the burn took away some of the mental pain but now I realise it was just a distraction and now I have to cover the burn scar. I'm not sure if I regret it because it made me feel better for a few moments but I just don't know what to do. It's so frustrating knowing you'd do anything for someone, knowing they could trust you and that you'd die for them and them not to trust you back. I just love him so much and want him to love me like he did before. I just feel so bad right now.
I don't know what you're all going to make of this post and I don't know what kind of responses I'm wanting but I just wanted to talk to some people about it. Thanks for your time.
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Why do I feel like it would have been better if you hadn't replied to that?
Rickoss wrote:
> maddmun wrote:
> monkey_man wrote:
> Oh, and I bet you don't complain when you see two women getting it
> on.
>
> Yeah, actually, I do.
>
> You are one twisted, twisted, person.
What?
He didn't actaully say what I saw complaining about.
Maybe I complain that I'm not there.
> maddmun wrote:
> monkey_man wrote:
> Oh, and I bet you don't complain when you see two women getting it
> on.
>
> Yeah, actually, I do.
>
> You are one twisted, twisted, person.
What?
He didn't actaully say what I saw complaining about.
Maybe I complain that I'm not there.
This still going? Hmm.
I went to a gay pride march once. I'm not gay myself but have several friends who are and it was a great laugh.......
Surely people are just people and if 2 people want to spend their time together does it really matter if they're both of the same sex or not. Life is too short to deny yourself happiness and is there really any point at all in getting upset about what makes other people happy?
As for saying that homosexuality is unnatural.... are you serious? Have you seen the diversity in nature? Homosexuality is rife in the animal kingdom as well as the human. 1 theory is that it becomes more prevailent when the population reaches a certain ceiling and in our society.....
PS I may not be gay but I still can't for the life of me get a girlfriend. I find beer always helps!
Surely people are just people and if 2 people want to spend their time together does it really matter if they're both of the same sex or not. Life is too short to deny yourself happiness and is there really any point at all in getting upset about what makes other people happy?
As for saying that homosexuality is unnatural.... are you serious? Have you seen the diversity in nature? Homosexuality is rife in the animal kingdom as well as the human. 1 theory is that it becomes more prevailent when the population reaches a certain ceiling and in our society.....
PS I may not be gay but I still can't for the life of me get a girlfriend. I find beer always helps!
Azul wrote:
> Oh, and trust Lil Ginge to take possibly the most laughable post ever
> seriously, and offer hearty advice.
>
> Well done.
Someones gotta do it :P
Dude was you caught in those floods? I was away in spain and heard about floods in scotland.... And thought ' oooo nooo my zulllyyyyy'
yep
For about two seconds then i stopped caring - bur ya get my point!?
> Oh, and trust Lil Ginge to take possibly the most laughable post ever
> seriously, and offer hearty advice.
>
> Well done.
Someones gotta do it :P
Dude was you caught in those floods? I was away in spain and heard about floods in scotland.... And thought ' oooo nooo my zulllyyyyy'
yep
For about two seconds then i stopped caring - bur ya get my point!?
Forest Fan wrote:
> That's fair enough, I probably would too if it was face to face.
> Unfortunately, this debate turned sour and petty.
And it did so the very second you got involved. Take some responsibility for what you say will you?
> That's fair enough, I probably would too if it was face to face.
> Unfortunately, this debate turned sour and petty.
And it did so the very second you got involved. Take some responsibility for what you say will you?
Oh, and trust Lil Ginge to take possibly the most laughable post ever seriously, and offer hearty advice.
Well done.
Well done.
Strafio wrote:
> How could anyone be offended by that?
> If someone called me a "breeder", I'd probably roll on the
> floor laughing...
>
>
> Seriously! :-D
That's fair enough, I probably would too if it was face to face. Unfortunately, this debate turned sour and petty.
> How could anyone be offended by that?
> If someone called me a "breeder", I'd probably roll on the
> floor laughing...
>
>
> Seriously! :-D
That's fair enough, I probably would too if it was face to face. Unfortunately, this debate turned sour and petty.
Foszy wrote:
> I always have a funny image of a que of fat people paying it in at
> the post office
You really are a complete and utter spastic.
It's queue by the way, you moron.
> I always have a funny image of a que of fat people paying it in at
> the post office
You really are a complete and utter spastic.
It's queue by the way, you moron.
Lil Ginge wrote:
> Cube - You are gonna have to buckle up and think of your partners
> feelings in future, do not listen to others advice when they are
> blatantly persuading you in a non neutral way - You obviously deep
> down knew that it would hurt your partner to come back to have drinks
> with your ex (duh) but then listen to your ex explain how you gotta
> bla blaaaa...
Yeh I totally realise that, i'm going to be a lot more considerate towards him. I made a slip up but I'm not going to make another. I ust want him to be happy.
> well now you know its wrong you cant blow your brains out other one
> mistake, show him you love him and that means respect your partner
> when he is working and everything else, do not be feeling all guilty
> and self harm yourself or get in moods because you cant see him
> because in the end of the day he is working his ass off to gain money
> for you BOTH!
I really am trying to show him just how much he means to me and just how much I love him. I always did but I am trying extra hard now. DOing anything I can just to make sure he knows. We've worked past it really but still. It makes me happy to see him happy and know it's me that's doing it so I think I'm just going to keep on being me, as good as I can be heh.
> Sounds like he is a nice guy, so find a job work your ass off as much
> as him and show him how much you love him and trust him! Your ex is
> nothing - When my scummy ex came over to me in a club a few months
> ago I made it clear I was with sam had been for two and a bit years
> and loved him so he dont have a chance! Harsh but he a sleezy
> bastardo and it best to clear air heh heh....
Yeh I have deleted my Exs mobile numbers and MSN addy to show Mark that my ex is my past and he is my future. I'm still trying to get a job and I'm sure I will. It's not going to be easy but he's so worth it.
> As soon as he tried dancing near me and my lady friend I re ittirated
> the point said politely we can be mates but nothing else and when it
> was time to leave i didnt even go over and say 'see ya' - told sam
> next day the looser was there and things were fine and dandy! Atleast
> next time if your ex comes close all you have to do is say how in
> love and happy you are now that you can be friends but no more and be
> honest if and when you see him to your new guy!
>
> Hope it works out cube
Thanks, like I said I think we have worked through it really. Now we're just back to being a couple in love. Continuing to make each other happy and it's definitely working for me. He's so perfect.
> p.s - breeder... i dont like it dude. Say sorry!
Lol ok, sorry
> Cube - You are gonna have to buckle up and think of your partners
> feelings in future, do not listen to others advice when they are
> blatantly persuading you in a non neutral way - You obviously deep
> down knew that it would hurt your partner to come back to have drinks
> with your ex (duh) but then listen to your ex explain how you gotta
> bla blaaaa...
Yeh I totally realise that, i'm going to be a lot more considerate towards him. I made a slip up but I'm not going to make another. I ust want him to be happy.
> well now you know its wrong you cant blow your brains out other one
> mistake, show him you love him and that means respect your partner
> when he is working and everything else, do not be feeling all guilty
> and self harm yourself or get in moods because you cant see him
> because in the end of the day he is working his ass off to gain money
> for you BOTH!
I really am trying to show him just how much he means to me and just how much I love him. I always did but I am trying extra hard now. DOing anything I can just to make sure he knows. We've worked past it really but still. It makes me happy to see him happy and know it's me that's doing it so I think I'm just going to keep on being me, as good as I can be heh.
> Sounds like he is a nice guy, so find a job work your ass off as much
> as him and show him how much you love him and trust him! Your ex is
> nothing - When my scummy ex came over to me in a club a few months
> ago I made it clear I was with sam had been for two and a bit years
> and loved him so he dont have a chance! Harsh but he a sleezy
> bastardo and it best to clear air heh heh....
Yeh I have deleted my Exs mobile numbers and MSN addy to show Mark that my ex is my past and he is my future. I'm still trying to get a job and I'm sure I will. It's not going to be easy but he's so worth it.
> As soon as he tried dancing near me and my lady friend I re ittirated
> the point said politely we can be mates but nothing else and when it
> was time to leave i didnt even go over and say 'see ya' - told sam
> next day the looser was there and things were fine and dandy! Atleast
> next time if your ex comes close all you have to do is say how in
> love and happy you are now that you can be friends but no more and be
> honest if and when you see him to your new guy!
>
> Hope it works out cube
Thanks, like I said I think we have worked through it really. Now we're just back to being a couple in love. Continuing to make each other happy and it's definitely working for me. He's so perfect.
> p.s - breeder... i dont like it dude. Say sorry!
Lol ok, sorry
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