Viewing Thread:
"Short Poem Competition Returns"

Hey all. Discodexy asked if someone would start a new one of these competitions, so here goes.

Rules:

-Maximum of, shall we say, 200 words?
-The word to base it around is "pain", you can easily get something out of that.

I'm going on holiday on Sunday but will judge soon after I get back. Shall we say, entries in by 2nd September, and I will judge them and name the top three poems on the 4th September. This gives people plenty of time to get their entries in.

Post your poems in this thread!

Enjoy

RESULTS!

3rd Place goes to Mav for this entry...

Pain.
Makes me feel insane,
It comes and goes
My mind is slain,
Withdrawn, retreated,
A wounded fawn,
Nothing is here for me,
Nothing will help.

It rises up - the pain in me,
Even alone, I feel its grip,
No pressure, no feeling,
Just the horror of it,
I fall, neglected,
A victim, rejected,
My mind is affected
In ways I accept it,
But I can't help but give in,
It overthrows me, commands,
I'm suffocating, holding out my arms,
Grasping for help, but I slip away,
Unnoticed, uncared for, there's no other way,
They don't know about me, neither do you,
I drift through crowds,
Invisible.

Yet my pain remains, I live in vain,
Because I can't.
There's no going forward,
No going back,
To these people I'm a pet,
They call me Jack.


2nd place goes to Grebo, for this entry...

"In mute mental anguish,
We are divided by allegiances,
Our stoppered emotions,
Precipitating smouldering conflagrations,
And explosions of patience,
Whether soul-less happiness,
Or soul-full despair,
Inciting reactions of ineffectuality,
Leading to solitude,
Always looking to reason,
But finding indefatigable naiveté,
Always leading, leading, leading,
Downwards spiralling,
To an ultimate climax,
Rushing, insisting,
and pressing the balance,
Losing our equilibrium,
Leading, leading,
Subconscious observations,
Of intellectual depravations,
And self imposed mental anarchy,
Giving stunning inspirations,
Revelations of reality,
Dawning from obscurity,
Losing, losing,
Humour engulfed,
Mind retreating,
Downwards spiralling,
Self absorbed,
Comatose,
Eventual emotional flat liner."


and the winner is... Azul! For his entry, I've got the Power...

My remorseful soul, a prism of unrest;
Summer rains replenishing and tender
And shadowy clouds ebb and flow with jest;
A ray of gold pierces them with splendour
As light hits my soul and splits into a rainbow.
The valley echoes with my brothers cries
And fields of faith bloom with hope as they grow.
I see my beacon shine through broken skies:

Sapphire birds dance through the eloquent air
And roses sway in the winds of grandeur.
The beauty overwhelms as petals wear,
and hated barbs play a hurtful overture.
The thorns puncture my heart with woeful pain -
I'm smiling; meaningfully going insane

Congratulations Azul, you've won the satisfaction of knowing I thought your poem was better than all the other entries.

Thanks to everyone who entered (especially Mattribute, who put in loads of short, often odd, poems), I just thought these were the best of the lot. Anyone that wants to start the next competition with their own word is free to do so.

Cheers

*HE*

I wholeheartedly agree, Nash. He obviously has no compassion.

That certainly was a powerful and beautiful poem, Mr. KieranJay, but did you spare a thought for people with no fingers? In fact, I even contemplated posting the poem so people with no fingers could read it without having to fumble the mouse!

But sorry anyway :|

I'm far too copyright paranoid to post my poem on this forum but I hope that you will accept the posting of a link. This poem was written about pain:

Address link deleted.

Hope you enjoy it. I'd love to hear from anyone who hates it too.

If you touch me again, I promise I'll give you more pain than you can ever have imagined.

The pain of being,
Rejected, is a painful one at that.

Wind, rain, slow, fist;
Cannot quite ever compare to the pain of being,
Rejected.

"Unlucky" says Mark, my parental unit.
You have no idea, simply no;
Idea.

KieranJay wrote:
> Sounds like you have got an interesting outlook but I hate the word
> normal. I would never condone recreational drug usage but I do like
> do have wide perceptions (highs without drug usage). I'm not sure
> that your description 'stabbing themselves in the eye' is accurate.
> I'd say lost in confusion of the opium fields.

Well, having never used drugs myself, I have no real first hand knowledge of the subject. The poem was merely an attempt to explore how using drugs and drug addiction can affect outlook on life. Of course, everyone's outlook is different and therefore there is no real "normal" outlook as such but what I was suggesting is that the use of drugs can cloud judgement and does not allow a person to take a balanced view of the events that surround them.

It's basically an anti-drug poem based around the theme of pain. I used the concept of someone stabbing themselves in the eye as a means of suggesting that drug use was akin to self-harm, as well as linking it to how it can cause one to lose their balance of perception.

I tried to avoid directly mentioning the drug by name because I thought that it would draw all the attention towards it and not to the poem in its entirety.

Of course, it can never really be effective as an anti-drug statement because I have no real experiences of my own to back it up with and it could be seen as someone who doesn't really understand the effects of drug use properly trying to second-guess everything.

Memorandum! wrote:
> It's about how drug addiction can obscure one's view of the world.
> That by injecting themselves with mind altering drugs they blind
> themselves to having a normal outlook, and are, essentially, stabbing
> themselves through the eye.

Sounds like you have got an interesting outlook but I hate the word normal. I would never condone recreational drug usage but I do like do have wide perceptions (highs without drug usage). I'm not sure that your description 'stabbing themselves in the eye' is accurate. I'd say lost in confusion of the opium fields.

Probably best to - although we better ask Paradox...

DiscoDexy wrote:
> Well, sorry to burst your bubble mate - but paradox was actually
> supposed to start one - seem as he won.
> Winner makes a new competition - its an ancient tradition.

Yer, sorry just read it properly from your competition. But hey, we're getting some in here, so we might as well leave it be, right?

THE PAIN

Brother tossed me off,
of ropes, of ladders, of chairs
He touched me in uneven places
And hit me with STEEL stairs.

One revengeful evening
I erupted, hated, betrayed
I looked for cheats on the internet
for SMACKDOWN: HERE COMES THE PAIN.

It's about how drug addiction can obscure one's view of the world. That by injecting themselves with mind altering drugs they blind themselves to having a normal outlook, and are, essentially, stabbing themselves through the eye.