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Hey all. Discodexy asked if someone would start a new one of these competitions, so here goes.
Rules:
-Maximum of, shall we say, 200 words?
-The word to base it around is "pain", you can easily get something out of that.
I'm going on holiday on Sunday but will judge soon after I get back. Shall we say, entries in by 2nd September, and I will judge them and name the top three poems on the 4th September. This gives people plenty of time to get their entries in.
Post your poems in this thread!
Enjoy
RESULTS!
3rd Place goes to Mav for this entry...
Pain.
Makes me feel insane,
It comes and goes
My mind is slain,
Withdrawn, retreated,
A wounded fawn,
Nothing is here for me,
Nothing will help.
It rises up - the pain in me,
Even alone, I feel its grip,
No pressure, no feeling,
Just the horror of it,
I fall, neglected,
A victim, rejected,
My mind is affected
In ways I accept it,
But I can't help but give in,
It overthrows me, commands,
I'm suffocating, holding out my arms,
Grasping for help, but I slip away,
Unnoticed, uncared for, there's no other way,
They don't know about me, neither do you,
I drift through crowds,
Invisible.
Yet my pain remains, I live in vain,
Because I can't.
There's no going forward,
No going back,
To these people I'm a pet,
They call me Jack.
2nd place goes to Grebo, for this entry...
"In mute mental anguish,
We are divided by allegiances,
Our stoppered emotions,
Precipitating smouldering conflagrations,
And explosions of patience,
Whether soul-less happiness,
Or soul-full despair,
Inciting reactions of ineffectuality,
Leading to solitude,
Always looking to reason,
But finding indefatigable naiveté,
Always leading, leading, leading,
Downwards spiralling,
To an ultimate climax,
Rushing, insisting,
and pressing the balance,
Losing our equilibrium,
Leading, leading,
Subconscious observations,
Of intellectual depravations,
And self imposed mental anarchy,
Giving stunning inspirations,
Revelations of reality,
Dawning from obscurity,
Losing, losing,
Humour engulfed,
Mind retreating,
Downwards spiralling,
Self absorbed,
Comatose,
Eventual emotional flat liner."
and the winner is... Azul! For his entry, I've got the Power...
My remorseful soul, a prism of unrest;
Summer rains replenishing and tender
And shadowy clouds ebb and flow with jest;
A ray of gold pierces them with splendour
As light hits my soul and splits into a rainbow.
The valley echoes with my brothers cries
And fields of faith bloom with hope as they grow.
I see my beacon shine through broken skies:
Sapphire birds dance through the eloquent air
And roses sway in the winds of grandeur.
The beauty overwhelms as petals wear,
and hated barbs play a hurtful overture.
The thorns puncture my heart with woeful pain -
I'm smiling; meaningfully going insane
Congratulations Azul, you've won the satisfaction of knowing I thought your poem was better than all the other entries.
Thanks to everyone who entered (especially Mattribute, who put in loads of short, often odd, poems), I just thought these were the best of the lot. Anyone that wants to start the next competition with their own word is free to do so.
Cheers
*HE*
Rules:
-Maximum of, shall we say, 200 words?
-The word to base it around is "pain", you can easily get something out of that.
I'm going on holiday on Sunday but will judge soon after I get back. Shall we say, entries in by 2nd September, and I will judge them and name the top three poems on the 4th September. This gives people plenty of time to get their entries in.
Post your poems in this thread!
Enjoy
RESULTS!
3rd Place goes to Mav for this entry...
Pain.
Makes me feel insane,
It comes and goes
My mind is slain,
Withdrawn, retreated,
A wounded fawn,
Nothing is here for me,
Nothing will help.
It rises up - the pain in me,
Even alone, I feel its grip,
No pressure, no feeling,
Just the horror of it,
I fall, neglected,
A victim, rejected,
My mind is affected
In ways I accept it,
But I can't help but give in,
It overthrows me, commands,
I'm suffocating, holding out my arms,
Grasping for help, but I slip away,
Unnoticed, uncared for, there's no other way,
They don't know about me, neither do you,
I drift through crowds,
Invisible.
Yet my pain remains, I live in vain,
Because I can't.
There's no going forward,
No going back,
To these people I'm a pet,
They call me Jack.
2nd place goes to Grebo, for this entry...
"In mute mental anguish,
We are divided by allegiances,
Our stoppered emotions,
Precipitating smouldering conflagrations,
And explosions of patience,
Whether soul-less happiness,
Or soul-full despair,
Inciting reactions of ineffectuality,
Leading to solitude,
Always looking to reason,
But finding indefatigable naiveté,
Always leading, leading, leading,
Downwards spiralling,
To an ultimate climax,
Rushing, insisting,
and pressing the balance,
Losing our equilibrium,
Leading, leading,
Subconscious observations,
Of intellectual depravations,
And self imposed mental anarchy,
Giving stunning inspirations,
Revelations of reality,
Dawning from obscurity,
Losing, losing,
Humour engulfed,
Mind retreating,
Downwards spiralling,
Self absorbed,
Comatose,
Eventual emotional flat liner."
and the winner is... Azul! For his entry, I've got the Power...
My remorseful soul, a prism of unrest;
Summer rains replenishing and tender
And shadowy clouds ebb and flow with jest;
A ray of gold pierces them with splendour
As light hits my soul and splits into a rainbow.
The valley echoes with my brothers cries
And fields of faith bloom with hope as they grow.
I see my beacon shine through broken skies:
Sapphire birds dance through the eloquent air
And roses sway in the winds of grandeur.
The beauty overwhelms as petals wear,
and hated barbs play a hurtful overture.
The thorns puncture my heart with woeful pain -
I'm smiling; meaningfully going insane
Congratulations Azul, you've won the satisfaction of knowing I thought your poem was better than all the other entries.
Thanks to everyone who entered (especially Mattribute, who put in loads of short, often odd, poems), I just thought these were the best of the lot. Anyone that wants to start the next competition with their own word is free to do so.
Cheers
*HE*
Page:
Thank you, thegerrid.
I tried to write it in a conversational style to really develop the sense of conflict and argument that carried it along at such pace.
I tried to write it in a conversational style to really develop the sense of conflict and argument that carried it along at such pace.
That was a beautiful poem, Memorandum! It touched me deeply in places that I never knew existed.
KieranJay wrote:
> There is a sense of humour and then there is breaking the law
> (violating the rights of someone else).
Breaking the law?
?!?!?!?!
It's plain for all to see that it's just your poem...his post is the one directly after your link for feck's sake.
It's not as if he's getting anything by copying it either...apart from winding you up obviously.
> I didn't mention 'sue' but
> I'm sure she's worth her weight in gold. I'm not sure what I'll do. I
> may as well try a few powerful contacts and see where I end up.
I'm sure you'll go far. I can really see the director of a firm caring about someone winding you up.
It's only an over-dressed, pretentious piece of nonsense anyway.
> You'll have to wait and see what happens next. In the meantime please
> would you have some respect; or is that asking too much.
OMG!! I hope Nash gets banned for his EVIL DEEDS.
I hope he's struck down by the fiery demons of hell and left to burn eternally for this DISGUSTING act.
What exactly are you expecting them to do?
You're just some guy who posts poems on the Internet - they don't make you any money, and therefore Nash-boy isn't causing you any harm whatsoever by posting it. He didn't even claim it as his own.
Are you saying that if I quoted a poem I should be taken to court by the author?!?!
?!?!?!
> There is a sense of humour and then there is breaking the law
> (violating the rights of someone else).
Breaking the law?
?!?!?!?!
It's plain for all to see that it's just your poem...his post is the one directly after your link for feck's sake.
It's not as if he's getting anything by copying it either...apart from winding you up obviously.
> I didn't mention 'sue' but
> I'm sure she's worth her weight in gold. I'm not sure what I'll do. I
> may as well try a few powerful contacts and see where I end up.
I'm sure you'll go far. I can really see the director of a firm caring about someone winding you up.
It's only an over-dressed, pretentious piece of nonsense anyway.
> You'll have to wait and see what happens next. In the meantime please
> would you have some respect; or is that asking too much.
OMG!! I hope Nash gets banned for his EVIL DEEDS.
I hope he's struck down by the fiery demons of hell and left to burn eternally for this DISGUSTING act.
What exactly are you expecting them to do?
You're just some guy who posts poems on the Internet - they don't make you any money, and therefore Nash-boy isn't causing you any harm whatsoever by posting it. He didn't even claim it as his own.
Are you saying that if I quoted a poem I should be taken to court by the author?!?!
?!?!?!
forum
Current event sthey
unfold, quickly
some are serious some
are
strays - wandering, feeling empty
Others think they can sue
dont understand the internet properly! DOn't udnerstand forums!!!
Its all falling apart the structure
can we communicate without - tools? YOU are tools?
No one claimed a poem as their own
these days can you are you what are you
townie, sloanie, sk8r, goth what?
mass appeal what is this i feel it coming towards me like a train
Current event sthey
unfold, quickly
some are serious some
are
strays - wandering, feeling empty
Others think they can sue
dont understand the internet properly! DOn't udnerstand forums!!!
Its all falling apart the structure
can we communicate without - tools? YOU are tools?
No one claimed a poem as their own
these days can you are you what are you
townie, sloanie, sk8r, goth what?
mass appeal what is this i feel it coming towards me like a train
And also, I'd imagine you'd end up lost in the middle of a field somewhere.
I see what you mean, thegerrid.
Technology is indeed beginning to take over our lives, and despite it supposedly 'improving' things, I feel it is hindering good old fashioned person-to-person communication.
I feel your plight.
Technology is indeed beginning to take over our lives, and despite it supposedly 'improving' things, I feel it is hindering good old fashioned person-to-person communication.
I feel your plight.
KieranJay wrote:
> I may as well try a few powerful contacts and see where I end up.
If you only have 2 eyes, why do you need a few?
> I may as well try a few powerful contacts and see where I end up.
If you only have 2 eyes, why do you need a few?
There is a sense of humour and then there is breaking the law (violating the rights of someone else). I didn't mention 'sue' but I'm sure she's worth her weight in gold. I'm not sure what I'll do. I may as well try a few powerful contacts and see where I end up.
You'll have to wait and see what happens next. In the meantime please would you have some respect; or is that asking too much.
KJ (not very impressed)
You'll have to wait and see what happens next. In the meantime please would you have some respect; or is that asking too much.
KJ (not very impressed)
I am very self-concious about my poetry so please don't be mean to me, Memonrandum!. I feel very strongly about the issues of modernisation on society and feel that we no longer possess the tool we need to communicate properly, despite there now being more tools than ever before.
Interesting poem, thegerrid. I can't help but notice the blatant reference to the effect of modernisation on society in your analysis of the growing importance of artificial means of transportation such as trains, for example.
Care to elaborate?
Care to elaborate?
Page: