Viewing Thread:
"Short Poem Competition Returns"

Hey all. Discodexy asked if someone would start a new one of these competitions, so here goes.

Rules:

-Maximum of, shall we say, 200 words?
-The word to base it around is "pain", you can easily get something out of that.

I'm going on holiday on Sunday but will judge soon after I get back. Shall we say, entries in by 2nd September, and I will judge them and name the top three poems on the 4th September. This gives people plenty of time to get their entries in.

Post your poems in this thread!

Enjoy

RESULTS!

3rd Place goes to Mav for this entry...

Pain.
Makes me feel insane,
It comes and goes
My mind is slain,
Withdrawn, retreated,
A wounded fawn,
Nothing is here for me,
Nothing will help.

It rises up - the pain in me,
Even alone, I feel its grip,
No pressure, no feeling,
Just the horror of it,
I fall, neglected,
A victim, rejected,
My mind is affected
In ways I accept it,
But I can't help but give in,
It overthrows me, commands,
I'm suffocating, holding out my arms,
Grasping for help, but I slip away,
Unnoticed, uncared for, there's no other way,
They don't know about me, neither do you,
I drift through crowds,
Invisible.

Yet my pain remains, I live in vain,
Because I can't.
There's no going forward,
No going back,
To these people I'm a pet,
They call me Jack.


2nd place goes to Grebo, for this entry...

"In mute mental anguish,
We are divided by allegiances,
Our stoppered emotions,
Precipitating smouldering conflagrations,
And explosions of patience,
Whether soul-less happiness,
Or soul-full despair,
Inciting reactions of ineffectuality,
Leading to solitude,
Always looking to reason,
But finding indefatigable naiveté,
Always leading, leading, leading,
Downwards spiralling,
To an ultimate climax,
Rushing, insisting,
and pressing the balance,
Losing our equilibrium,
Leading, leading,
Subconscious observations,
Of intellectual depravations,
And self imposed mental anarchy,
Giving stunning inspirations,
Revelations of reality,
Dawning from obscurity,
Losing, losing,
Humour engulfed,
Mind retreating,
Downwards spiralling,
Self absorbed,
Comatose,
Eventual emotional flat liner."


and the winner is... Azul! For his entry, I've got the Power...

My remorseful soul, a prism of unrest;
Summer rains replenishing and tender
And shadowy clouds ebb and flow with jest;
A ray of gold pierces them with splendour
As light hits my soul and splits into a rainbow.
The valley echoes with my brothers cries
And fields of faith bloom with hope as they grow.
I see my beacon shine through broken skies:

Sapphire birds dance through the eloquent air
And roses sway in the winds of grandeur.
The beauty overwhelms as petals wear,
and hated barbs play a hurtful overture.
The thorns puncture my heart with woeful pain -
I'm smiling; meaningfully going insane

Congratulations Azul, you've won the satisfaction of knowing I thought your poem was better than all the other entries.

Thanks to everyone who entered (especially Mattribute, who put in loads of short, often odd, poems), I just thought these were the best of the lot. Anyone that wants to start the next competition with their own word is free to do so.

Cheers

*HE*

thegerrid, I'm afraid to say your venture will be fruitless, as I did not copy your poem, merely borrow it.

Expect my lawyer to crush yours into the ground.
I also have Channel4 on my side.

I do not take kindly to people copying my poems, Memorandum!, and I have informed the BBC and also my lawyer. You will be receiving correspondance from me on this matter.

Yours,
Sue

I would not care to elaborate

Elaborate

Elaborate my soul, Oh redeemer
I feel a closeness to you
As I crawl through the puddles of life
limbless and crippled

I see shops that I cannot enter
Shops selling love and hiking equipment

Equipment that I sorely need
For I am the limbless hiker, crippled with no shins

My shins were stolen, I gambled them away
let me elaborate

It was a cold summer's dawn
A fawn ambled slowly down a motor-way,
a car, screeching, sliding, mangles it into
an animal/machine mixture of flesh and metal
I lay on the ground
my cards one by one
And beckoned posers-by to watch my solitary game
of Magic the Gathering.
One challenger
A small child, covered in bruises, lacking shins
saw my Hymorrhia Beast with lvl 8 Myrrh Pot
and destroyed it with an Ice Gryphinne lvl 56 Chhtarh
He asked for my shins

Oh, elaborations! thou ruinest me!

Here's a poem I've written in a progressive modern style:

Untitled

Jamboree.
Doll.

Custard.
Midgets.

Spear.
Sharp.
Long.
Spear.
Sharp.
Long.
Spear.
Sharp.
Long.
Spear.
Sharp.
Long.
Spear.
Sharp.
Long.
Spear.
Sharp.
Long.

Through the night,
I move

A whisper

A faint glow

On the darkness
of the end.

This new poem is even better than the last!
You have some real talent, thegerrid, have any of these wonderful poems been published?

thegerrid, a tear is welling in the corner of my eye. That is simply beautiful.

I commend you on such a delightful collection of imagery and words.

I see you're very much concerned with labels in society, care to elaborate?

I am so emotional at this moment, I had to just write my feelings down and record them for all to see:

As darkness falls on this world of sticks and stones
I lurch through the inky air in search of another meal
I can feel the earth's hairy arms touching my moist area
and it spurs me on, on, through the night

Sound drips from my gaping draw, as I search
I search through the dustbins for my next meal
Like a fox in the night my emotions flow from my jowels
glistening in the moonlight like a star being engulfed by the flames of life

never have things been so clear I can see them dancing in front of my eyes
Wet with anticipation I find a squashed bat in the road
and I devour it

We ate it slowly her last placental loaf
Steeped in memories, filled with sadness
It stayed warm in the oven, covered in oats
We baked her the day she suddenly dropped dead

She always told me "Never go out alone
Those chavs'll steal your $500 phone"
She was right, in a way, I never knew
She was a chav all along, while she baked her loaves

The streets are empty these days, no time
To stand and stare at the posers who used to line
These uterine walls of worldy birth

I ate it slow, that last pacental loaf.

Thank you again, thegerrid, for your kind, kind words.
I fear I cannot successfully express how happy you make me feel, but I will try, in the form of a poem:

Darting Through The Moonlight

Cats
Their whiskers glow
Their voices purr
Then they see me
And they hiss
And scratch
AND CLAW AT MY FACE

The pain
It runs through my body
As the cats
GNAW INTO MY MIND

I feel their thoughts
I feel their anger
I TURN CRAZY
LIKE A CRAZY HOBO

Then I wake up
And my dream is over
I feel comforted
Knowing
There are no cats
And there are only nice people


Like


thegerrid

I feel that you have some very strong feelings about law, poetry and human rights, and your form, verse structure and imagery collaborated exquisitely. I only hope someone recognises your genius one day.