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EDIT: I bet Fergie had a big part to play in this.
I'm more of a Fantasy Football man :)
A pitch. "Sven has gone to great lengths to protect Michael Owen from injury for this match." A box is carefully lowered onto the pitch, opened. Lots of packing and Michael Owen fall out. Owen gets the ball, runs round everyone and scores. Scholes jumps on top on him in celebration, Owen gets injured. It's hilarious.
Scholes is always comedy in the 2DTV sketches. I remember one which was in black and white, apart from Scholes hair. Classic.
I especially like the Garth Crooks impression towards Sven, when he usually about seven cliches in one sentence without actually getting to the question in, ..erm, question.
"So, Sven, you're skating on thin ice out there."
"What? If ze pitch is frozen they will, er, call off the game?"
"No No, Sven, I mean you've only got a 1 goal cushion."
"What? There are, how you say, cushions in the goal? The goalkeeper is hurting himself? What?"
"...Sigh."
:P
We all know Robbo beats Kirlkland hands down.
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Is that why Sven constantly sings Kirkland's praises? ;)
Let's not also forget that Chris is always touted as the next No.1 when he's fit (yes, I know, getting him fit is another story).
Besides, Paul Robinson's started the slippery slope downwards, White Hart Lane style ;)
HEskey has gone to birmingham: with in 2 or 3 squads will no longer be guaranteed his place, unless he deserves it.
Butt goes to Newcastle: has to earn his place on merit.
Scholes retires: i am in two minds, firstly he is a world class player. But i'd rather lose him than force us to play him and other midfielders out of position just to accomodate them all. (i think scholes is top notch, it just doesn't work having him, lampard and gerrard in one team, and now we shall get some continuity)
things are looking up for england!