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I am getting engaged within the next 3 weeks, I haven't decided when I should do it or how I should do it. I have two ways in my mind that I can propose to my girlfriend, the first one is to propose to her on our 6th month anniversary as we are going to a nice restaurant that night to celebrate six months of being together, the restauarant would be a nice place to propose, a more traditional (and boring) way of proposing, then again I'm not exactly a traditional and boring guy. So my other way of proposing was to do it at the anime convention we are going to, do it at the karaoke which is being held there, you know, change the words of a song so that it comes out as 'will you marry me' I just don't know what way I should propose, I think that if I did it at the convention that it would make our first anime convention much more memorable, either way I know that my girlfriend will be very pleased but I'm unsure of the best way, any thoughts?
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All i'm saying is, when i was with my ex,everything was great and he was the one for me and we was going to get married and it's ment to be and it felt so right yadda yadda yadda...but where are we both now? I'm going to Uni and he's living with his gf, things change and people change.
Why get engaged when you won't be getting married for a few years. How stupid will you feel when people ask 'When's the wedding?' and you say 'not for a few years yet'.
Personally I see this as an insecurity. You seem scared to lose what you got. If everything happens for a reason then why do you need a ring to say 'one day we will get married'. Also this everything happens for a reason crap..fair enough to believe in that i also do, but surely it relates to things you can't change or didn't want to happen. If she got pregnant then fair enough, things happen for a reason. But it's not like you are getting engaged against your will.
You have both met each other and fallen in love which is all good, so why don't you enjoy being together first before rushing into anything. This will put pressure on your relationship believe me. If one of you don't feel right a few months down the line you will proberly end up staying together saying 'oh but we're engaged and don't want to lose that' and the next thing you know you are unhappily married with a few kids and you stay together for the sake of them.
Just stay young and enjoy being together, there is no rush to get serious!
Why get engaged when you won't be getting married for a few years. How stupid will you feel when people ask 'When's the wedding?' and you say 'not for a few years yet'.
Personally I see this as an insecurity. You seem scared to lose what you got. If everything happens for a reason then why do you need a ring to say 'one day we will get married'. Also this everything happens for a reason crap..fair enough to believe in that i also do, but surely it relates to things you can't change or didn't want to happen. If she got pregnant then fair enough, things happen for a reason. But it's not like you are getting engaged against your will.
You have both met each other and fallen in love which is all good, so why don't you enjoy being together first before rushing into anything. This will put pressure on your relationship believe me. If one of you don't feel right a few months down the line you will proberly end up staying together saying 'oh but we're engaged and don't want to lose that' and the next thing you know you are unhappily married with a few kids and you stay together for the sake of them.
Just stay young and enjoy being together, there is no rush to get serious!
With that I have to go get my gf from work, thanks for all your opinions, I'm sorry if I seemed defensive. just so you all know I appreciate all the positive and negative things that you guys and gals have said, with that I gotta sign off, adios amigos!
And yes, as Darling said, it being your first love actually explains a lot of this topic. With you being so inexperienced, how can you possibly know what to do and what's best for you two? Are you God, knowing all things to do with being in love and how to make the right decisions? You're going solely off your own judgement, which can often be quite a dangerous thing to do.
~Darling~ wrote:
> So 6 months is enough time to determine that you are right for each
> other? What have you been through in those 6 months, have you had a
> christmas together etc etc.
>
> People stay together for years before breaking up, if every
> relationship was ment to be after 6 months i'd be married 3 times by
> now!
We feel how we feel, can we help it? If this is what we wnat to do then should'nt we do it? If we fail then we fail, you can then say I told you so, I'll pay for a big megaphone so you can shout it, but, I would'nt count on that megaphone Darling, It won't be happining in this century my friend, if this was'nt supposed to be then it would'nt be, my philoshphy is 'Everything happens for a reason' I have lived by that for almost 6 years and after everything that has happened to me, to my gf, between us, I believe that even more now, I am confident, when I'm confident good things happen, I make sure of that.
I may only be 18 but make no mistake, I grew up fast and hard, I learnt everything the hard way, the painful way, I'm not naive or stupid, I want to experience happiness, I'm always happy with her, we have had it hard apart and together, we are happy now, we'll do anything to keep that, we deserve it.
> So 6 months is enough time to determine that you are right for each
> other? What have you been through in those 6 months, have you had a
> christmas together etc etc.
>
> People stay together for years before breaking up, if every
> relationship was ment to be after 6 months i'd be married 3 times by
> now!
We feel how we feel, can we help it? If this is what we wnat to do then should'nt we do it? If we fail then we fail, you can then say I told you so, I'll pay for a big megaphone so you can shout it, but, I would'nt count on that megaphone Darling, It won't be happining in this century my friend, if this was'nt supposed to be then it would'nt be, my philoshphy is 'Everything happens for a reason' I have lived by that for almost 6 years and after everything that has happened to me, to my gf, between us, I believe that even more now, I am confident, when I'm confident good things happen, I make sure of that.
I may only be 18 but make no mistake, I grew up fast and hard, I learnt everything the hard way, the painful way, I'm not naive or stupid, I want to experience happiness, I'm always happy with her, we have had it hard apart and together, we are happy now, we'll do anything to keep that, we deserve it.
Well done, you can account for yourself wanting to get married, and knowing for absolute certainty that it will work. But last time you checked, were you your girlfriend? How do you know she views your relationship the same way? Did she suddenly say to you one day, "Johnny, we really should get married. Our lives are wonderful when we're together, we'll be able to support ourselves just dandy when we're married, possibly wanting children, etc etc etc."
Oh, and as for the "I even waited a few months after these feelings appeared as I wanted to make sure it wasn't infatuation" thing, I'm sorry, but that makes you sound totally inexperienced and crazed. Wow, a few months? Excellent.
And as for the me being negative thing. I couldn't actually care less if you got married or not, so I'm not actually being negative, I'm just trying to provide you with another perspective on getting married after 6 months, something which you are obviously unfamiliar with.
Oh, and as for the "I even waited a few months after these feelings appeared as I wanted to make sure it wasn't infatuation" thing, I'm sorry, but that makes you sound totally inexperienced and crazed. Wow, a few months? Excellent.
And as for the me being negative thing. I couldn't actually care less if you got married or not, so I'm not actually being negative, I'm just trying to provide you with another perspective on getting married after 6 months, something which you are obviously unfamiliar with.
Ah so it's a first love...that says it all!
John Nash wrote:
> Why wait? Because no matter what you think, 6 months is hardly
> anything. It's these kind of marriage that usually end in divorce,
> because guess what, people discover they aren't actually "meant
> for each other" at all.
>
> What's the hurry? So what, you both want to do it now, but what are
> you scared of? that you won't want to do it in a few years? That's
> you won't love each other anymore? If that happens, then you won't
> want to get married anyway/wish you hadn't.
There is no scare, there is no rush, before going out with her I never thought of marriage, I never really thought of having a relationship with a woman, but I fell in love with her, I never been in love, I even waited a few months after these feelings appeared as I wanted to make sure it wasn't infatuation, I know what I am doing, we know what we are doing, you are making assumptions, being negative, there is no need for that kind of 'realism' I already know the consequences if this doesn't work out but it will work, I have never put so much of myself into anything, I have never trusted anyone until I started going out with her, for me thats a big thing, I don't trust anyone including myself, yet, I trust her, to me thats a big thing.
> Why wait? Because no matter what you think, 6 months is hardly
> anything. It's these kind of marriage that usually end in divorce,
> because guess what, people discover they aren't actually "meant
> for each other" at all.
>
> What's the hurry? So what, you both want to do it now, but what are
> you scared of? that you won't want to do it in a few years? That's
> you won't love each other anymore? If that happens, then you won't
> want to get married anyway/wish you hadn't.
There is no scare, there is no rush, before going out with her I never thought of marriage, I never really thought of having a relationship with a woman, but I fell in love with her, I never been in love, I even waited a few months after these feelings appeared as I wanted to make sure it wasn't infatuation, I know what I am doing, we know what we are doing, you are making assumptions, being negative, there is no need for that kind of 'realism' I already know the consequences if this doesn't work out but it will work, I have never put so much of myself into anything, I have never trusted anyone until I started going out with her, for me thats a big thing, I don't trust anyone including myself, yet, I trust her, to me thats a big thing.
I love men.
Black hole wrote:
> ~Darling~ wrote:
> But 6 months?
>
> I was with someone for 18 months and after 6 months i was sure he
> was
> the one. Over time we wanted different things and discovered we
> wasn't right for each other..
>
> If we were'nt right for each other then we would have split up by
> now,
So 6 months is enough time to determine that you are right for each other? What have you been through in those 6 months, have you had a christmas together etc etc.
People stay together for years before breaking up, if every relationship was ment to be after 6 months i'd be married 3 times by now!
> ~Darling~ wrote:
> But 6 months?
>
> I was with someone for 18 months and after 6 months i was sure he
> was
> the one. Over time we wanted different things and discovered we
> wasn't right for each other..
>
> If we were'nt right for each other then we would have split up by
> now,
So 6 months is enough time to determine that you are right for each other? What have you been through in those 6 months, have you had a christmas together etc etc.
People stay together for years before breaking up, if every relationship was ment to be after 6 months i'd be married 3 times by now!
~Darling~ wrote:
> But 6 months?
>
> I was with someone for 18 months and after 6 months i was sure he was
> the one. Over time we wanted different things and discovered we
> wasn't right for each other..
If we were'nt right for each other then we would have split up by now, I get bored and annoyed with people quite quickly, she does'nt bore me or annoy me, we have very similar plans for our futures before we even went out with each other, we are interested in similar things although we differ on some things, I was glad of the differences as they will ensure that our relationship will not go stale, we love each other so it will never go stale, if we didn't want this bad enough then we wouldn't have fought so hard to be together and trust me, we fought very hard at a large enough price, we WILL make it work, on second thought, we don't need to, it already works, I love my girlfriend, I love Victoria.
> But 6 months?
>
> I was with someone for 18 months and after 6 months i was sure he was
> the one. Over time we wanted different things and discovered we
> wasn't right for each other..
If we were'nt right for each other then we would have split up by now, I get bored and annoyed with people quite quickly, she does'nt bore me or annoy me, we have very similar plans for our futures before we even went out with each other, we are interested in similar things although we differ on some things, I was glad of the differences as they will ensure that our relationship will not go stale, we love each other so it will never go stale, if we didn't want this bad enough then we wouldn't have fought so hard to be together and trust me, we fought very hard at a large enough price, we WILL make it work, on second thought, we don't need to, it already works, I love my girlfriend, I love Victoria.
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