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Hello everyone! Few of you probably remember who I am but I'm back. For now anyway and I'm taking this forum to strange new places...cough. I have decided after a very poor attempt myself to start a thread where we can all write and show our songs and get feedback from other members. I know for a fact that some of you are in bands and I also think this will be a good outlet for people wanting to do something creative but a bit different. In other words, if you're sick of writing poems, stories or the occassional Hai-ku then try writing a song! And we'll tell you if it rocks.
Here's my first ever attempt (so be kind!) to start the thread of. Enjoy...or not.
COLD:
1)
Colder than the morning dew
I got up to see you
Feet are cold, late at night
You keep me warm, to fight the fight
Chorus
When I dream you're cold around me
When you're here I'm glad you found me
I'm so cold you, you keep me warm
Arms so strong, the cold is gone
2)
Dark as pitch, the droplets form
A reminder why you keep me warm
Hold you closer than before
Chilled to bone, all I want is more
Repeat Chorus
3)
Tears or rain? The look the same
I have the cold to blame,
But I'm closer than last time,
Hold your hand, grasp with mine,
I realise now, the cold's sublime
Repeat chorus 3 times and fade out
----------------------
Well there it is guys and girls, inspired by someone very special to me but I don't think it does them justice. Hope you enjoyed it, it's just a rough draft but if it gets this thread of the ground then I've done my job. Get commenting and creating my little web monkeys. Enjoy! :D
Here's my first ever attempt (so be kind!) to start the thread of. Enjoy...or not.
COLD:
1)
Colder than the morning dew
I got up to see you
Feet are cold, late at night
You keep me warm, to fight the fight
Chorus
When I dream you're cold around me
When you're here I'm glad you found me
I'm so cold you, you keep me warm
Arms so strong, the cold is gone
2)
Dark as pitch, the droplets form
A reminder why you keep me warm
Hold you closer than before
Chilled to bone, all I want is more
Repeat Chorus
3)
Tears or rain? The look the same
I have the cold to blame,
But I'm closer than last time,
Hold your hand, grasp with mine,
I realise now, the cold's sublime
Repeat chorus 3 times and fade out
----------------------
Well there it is guys and girls, inspired by someone very special to me but I don't think it does them justice. Hope you enjoyed it, it's just a rough draft but if it gets this thread of the ground then I've done my job. Get commenting and creating my little web monkeys. Enjoy! :D
Page:
"Writing Songs, who's lyrics rock"
Not your own, anyway.
Not your own, anyway.
You wish you could cop a feel RIckoss
Just in the planning stages at the moment...
I'm Not Gay
I'm not gay
I just walk that way
Just 'cause my package
is fairly hefty
doesn't mean
that I'm a lefty
Ah well, at least it's better than Cubist's. ;-)
*wipes tears from eyes*
Again, nothing gay.
I'm Not Gay
I'm not gay
I just walk that way
Just 'cause my package
is fairly hefty
doesn't mean
that I'm a lefty
Ah well, at least it's better than Cubist's. ;-)
*wipes tears from eyes*
Again, nothing gay.
Thanks for all the "constructive criticism" guys and gals. Here's another attempt from yours truely. I look forward to more commens and digs. Ta!
REMEMBER:
Verse 1
Can you remember,
The days before all this splendour?
Before I woke up in your arms
Before the sun rose on our future
Chorus
Look forward to the future
A trail behind me leading to you
I can see us flying
I can see us dying
I can't remember
Life before I loved you
Verse 2
The grass was green before I met you
Crushed after I left you
But it's ok
Now we spend every day together
Live in eternal splendour
Chorus
Look forward to the future
Wish I could hear what you were thinking
Know what you wanted
Stop our relationship from sinking
Can you remember life before I loved you?
Verse 3
You and me
I know why I love you
Do you know why you love me?
Do you remember life before me?
Chorus
Looking forward to the future
I don't want to feel
Like it could be the end
Life's not worth it without you
I don't remember love before I loved you
Repeat Verse 3 and final Chorus and end song
-------------------
Oh and I am singing this along in my head to a very cool beat. Trust me ;) Although this is my VERY first draft and hasn't even been spell checked so bare with me and realise that its open to a lot of change.
REMEMBER:
Verse 1
Can you remember,
The days before all this splendour?
Before I woke up in your arms
Before the sun rose on our future
Chorus
Look forward to the future
A trail behind me leading to you
I can see us flying
I can see us dying
I can't remember
Life before I loved you
Verse 2
The grass was green before I met you
Crushed after I left you
But it's ok
Now we spend every day together
Live in eternal splendour
Chorus
Look forward to the future
Wish I could hear what you were thinking
Know what you wanted
Stop our relationship from sinking
Can you remember life before I loved you?
Verse 3
You and me
I know why I love you
Do you know why you love me?
Do you remember life before me?
Chorus
Looking forward to the future
I don't want to feel
Like it could be the end
Life's not worth it without you
I don't remember love before I loved you
Repeat Verse 3 and final Chorus and end song
-------------------
Oh and I am singing this along in my head to a very cool beat. Trust me ;) Although this is my VERY first draft and hasn't even been spell checked so bare with me and realise that its open to a lot of change.
Cub!st wrote:
> COLD:
> 1)
> Colder than the morning dew
> I got up to see you
> Feet are cold, late at night
> You keep me warm, to fight the fight
>
> Chorus
> When I dream you're cold around me
> When you're here I'm glad you found me
> I'm so cold you, you keep me warm
> Arms so strong, the cold is gone
>
> 2)
> Dark as pitch, the droplets form
> A reminder why you keep me warm
> Hold you closer than before
> Chilled to bone, all I want is more
>
> Repeat Chorus
>
> 3)
> Tears or rain? The look the same
> I have the cold to blame,
> But I'm closer than last time,
> Hold your hand, grasp with mine,
> I realise now, the cold's sublime
>
> Repeat chorus 3 times and fade out
>
> ----------------------
Poor. Too much reference to the cold using it at least once in every verse just takes the significance away from it, it's like repeating a word over and over again until it loses meaning and the looks stupid when written down.
> COLD:
> 1)
> Colder than the morning dew
> I got up to see you
> Feet are cold, late at night
> You keep me warm, to fight the fight
>
> Chorus
> When I dream you're cold around me
> When you're here I'm glad you found me
> I'm so cold you, you keep me warm
> Arms so strong, the cold is gone
>
> 2)
> Dark as pitch, the droplets form
> A reminder why you keep me warm
> Hold you closer than before
> Chilled to bone, all I want is more
>
> Repeat Chorus
>
> 3)
> Tears or rain? The look the same
> I have the cold to blame,
> But I'm closer than last time,
> Hold your hand, grasp with mine,
> I realise now, the cold's sublime
>
> Repeat chorus 3 times and fade out
>
> ----------------------
Poor. Too much reference to the cold using it at least once in every verse just takes the significance away from it, it's like repeating a word over and over again until it loses meaning and the looks stupid when written down.
.
.
.
Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!
One for the master, one for the dame,
And one for the little boy who lives down the lane.
.
.
.
.
.
Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!
One for the master, one for the dame,
And one for the little boy who lives down the lane.
.
.
.
Tiltawhirl wrote:
> Very_Metal wrote:
> it's stupid to read and stupider to hear.. but it always gets a
> reaction :)
>
> Usually followed by stun guns and straight jackets I'm guessing.
>
> :D
i get a mixed bag... funnily enough, people aren't sure what to make of it, it's usually at the end of a set of "proper" songs.. i just like to vent my frustrations a little and a screamy song is just the ticket :)
> Very_Metal wrote:
> it's stupid to read and stupider to hear.. but it always gets a
> reaction :)
>
> Usually followed by stun guns and straight jackets I'm guessing.
>
> :D
i get a mixed bag... funnily enough, people aren't sure what to make of it, it's usually at the end of a set of "proper" songs.. i just like to vent my frustrations a little and a screamy song is just the ticket :)
Geffdof wrote:
> metalhead wrote:
> Lyrics dont really matter too much if you think about it. Led
> Zeppelin's lyrics were totally bo11ocks, (look at stairway to
> heaven!!) yet theyre recognized as one of the greatest rock bands
> ever. probably the best id say. some people like ozzy just use
> lyrics
> as something to hang a melody on, and a lot of good songs arent
> actually about anything!!!
>
> I kind of agree. Lyrics by themselves are a bit rubbish. Some of you
> should post links to recordings or something.
Quite often, it doesn't really matter about what the lyrics are about with rock or metal; fitting into the song and sounding good is more important, unless it's a power ballad, where you need really emotive songwriting.
> metalhead wrote:
> Lyrics dont really matter too much if you think about it. Led
> Zeppelin's lyrics were totally bo11ocks, (look at stairway to
> heaven!!) yet theyre recognized as one of the greatest rock bands
> ever. probably the best id say. some people like ozzy just use
> lyrics
> as something to hang a melody on, and a lot of good songs arent
> actually about anything!!!
>
> I kind of agree. Lyrics by themselves are a bit rubbish. Some of you
> should post links to recordings or something.
Quite often, it doesn't really matter about what the lyrics are about with rock or metal; fitting into the song and sounding good is more important, unless it's a power ballad, where you need really emotive songwriting.
Very_Metal wrote:
> it's stupid to read and stupider to hear.. but it always gets a
> reaction :)
Usually followed by stun guns and straight jackets I'm guessing.
:D
> it's stupid to read and stupider to hear.. but it always gets a
> reaction :)
Usually followed by stun guns and straight jackets I'm guessing.
:D
ok, this is an acoustic song i play when i do acoustic shows, but the verso vocals have to be screamed, then the chorus sung properly.
(1)
---i'd LIKE to tell you all about my beautiful little raincoat,
it's black
it's shiny
it looks so f**kin' good!
it's a SHAME to put it down,
as it never brings me down,
it's black
it's shiny
it looks so f**kin' good!
(ch)
'cos in-- my mind,
i'll be ok
i'm a big, big boy
i will get by-----
oh in my mind
oh i'll be ok
hey i'm a big big boy
and i will get by--
*fill A*
(2 basically there was no 2nd verse but it kinda just went nicely into another verse and lyrics/insults were made up on the spot))
f**k this f**k you all..
get f**ked you f**kin' piece of c*nt,
i hate myself because i look like an ass
oh it's a shame to put it down
cos it NEVER brings me down
it's black
it's shiny
it looks so f**kin' good
(ch)
'cos in-- my mind,
i'll be ok
i'm a big, big boy
i will get by-----
oh in my mind
oh i'll be ok
hey i'm a big big boy
and i will get by--
*mid-8 --> outro*
it's stupid to read and stupider to hear.. but it always gets a reaction :)
(1)
---i'd LIKE to tell you all about my beautiful little raincoat,
it's black
it's shiny
it looks so f**kin' good!
it's a SHAME to put it down,
as it never brings me down,
it's black
it's shiny
it looks so f**kin' good!
(ch)
'cos in-- my mind,
i'll be ok
i'm a big, big boy
i will get by-----
oh in my mind
oh i'll be ok
hey i'm a big big boy
and i will get by--
*fill A*
(2 basically there was no 2nd verse but it kinda just went nicely into another verse and lyrics/insults were made up on the spot))
f**k this f**k you all..
get f**ked you f**kin' piece of c*nt,
i hate myself because i look like an ass
oh it's a shame to put it down
cos it NEVER brings me down
it's black
it's shiny
it looks so f**kin' good
(ch)
'cos in-- my mind,
i'll be ok
i'm a big, big boy
i will get by-----
oh in my mind
oh i'll be ok
hey i'm a big big boy
and i will get by--
*mid-8 --> outro*
it's stupid to read and stupider to hear.. but it always gets a reaction :)
Page: