Viewing Thread:
"Writing Songs, who's lyrics rock? - Competition"

Hello everyone! Few of you probably remember who I am but I'm back. For now anyway and I'm taking this forum to strange new places...cough. I have decided after a very poor attempt myself to start a thread where we can all write and show our songs and get feedback from other members. I know for a fact that some of you are in bands and I also think this will be a good outlet for people wanting to do something creative but a bit different. In other words, if you're sick of writing poems, stories or the occassional Hai-ku then try writing a song! And we'll tell you if it rocks.

Here's my first ever attempt (so be kind!) to start the thread of. Enjoy...or not.

COLD:
1)
Colder than the morning dew
I got up to see you
Feet are cold, late at night
You keep me warm, to fight the fight

Chorus
When I dream you're cold around me
When you're here I'm glad you found me
I'm so cold you, you keep me warm
Arms so strong, the cold is gone

2)
Dark as pitch, the droplets form
A reminder why you keep me warm
Hold you closer than before
Chilled to bone, all I want is more

Repeat Chorus

3)
Tears or rain? The look the same
I have the cold to blame,
But I'm closer than last time,
Hold your hand, grasp with mine,
I realise now, the cold's sublime

Repeat chorus 3 times and fade out

----------------------

Well there it is guys and girls, inspired by someone very special to me but I don't think it does them justice. Hope you enjoyed it, it's just a rough draft but if it gets this thread of the ground then I've done my job. Get commenting and creating my little web monkeys. Enjoy! :D

Will do, it might not be for a month or so tho.

cool :)
post links to them when they're all recorded and stuff :)

Hannah is just a joke about some girl I know called hannah. I dont like the song myself tbh. Although we have done a new version with a cool solo in it which is a bit better.

I didnt play chunky, I'm the bass player in the band. It was done with an acoustic and a mic. The guy who did it has a proper 8track recorder now so he's gonna redo it and hopefully we can record some more songs. Are other songs are more like chunky than hannah.

Geffdof wrote:
> ok verymetal, i'll stick a link in.
>
> [URL]http://www.kawada-band.tk[/URL]
>
> There are a couple of songs in the download section. They aren't the
> best. Ive written loads since then but ive not recorded them yet.
> Also check out the links section to go to some of my band members
> DMUSIC sites to hear some of our upcoming stuff.

i managed to download Hannah and Chunky...

i really didn't like Hannah at all, although that was mainly due to the recording i think, but overall it just didn't grab me in the least. sorry dude.
Chunky, however, was about 4 million times better. is that you playing the guitar parts? it's got a nice change for the mid-8 (which i thought could do with being a lil longer) and the lead track compliments the rythm perfectly. you should totally record that one properly.... or at least gate the input so it didn't hiss like that. was it a mic next to an acoustic or an electro-acoustic?

The Feeling

Verse

It was a sad day
It was a day when bad things
HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!
It was a chilly day
The weather matching the terrible
EVENTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Chorus

Lalalalalalala
I don't want your
Naughty thoughts
I don't want your
Hormonal feelings

Verse

Nasty Jimmy
He took away my toys
He broke my little boy
His anger was clear
For all to see
When he unleashed
His disgusting
Pee

Chorus

Lalalalalalala
I don't want your
Naughty thoughts
I don't want your
Hormonal feelings

Lalalalalalala
I don't want your
Naughty thoughts
I don't want your
Hormonal feelings

(fade out)

Cub!st wrote:
> Doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying.

And for this reason, I just died a little inside.

ok verymetal, i'll stick a link in.

[URL]http://www.kawada-band.tk[/URL]

There are a couple of songs in the download section. They aren't the best. Ive written loads since then but ive not recorded them yet. Also check out the links section to go to some of my band members DMUSIC sites to hear some of our upcoming stuff.

i'm in 2 minds about this thread...
on the one had it's awsome to see some of the stuff people have been producing, but it's always hard to post a set of lyrics when a lot of the time it's their relationship with the music that makes them sound "right"..

if anyone has any mp3's of their work.. maybe post a link to them so we can hear how your lyrics are intended?

some good stuff here though..


[EDIT] would the people leaving negative comments care to post some of their work please??
do better first, b!tch second :P

Ideally, it would.

Doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying.