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"Bulleying"

A lot of people get bulleyed, it's a common thing, even I used to get bulleyed, but now I have a problem, my brother, now my brother is really disturbed, he has a lot of problems, I mean he is a failure at school, and everybody keeps mucking him because he is fat, the problem is there are people who are bulleying him these days, now anybody else can handle it, but he is greatly hurt, he keeps crying every night, and the teachers wouldn't help, I thought of beating the guys who bulleyed him, but I thought they might do it again to take revenge from him, which complicates things even more, so any advice would be helpful please.

Wow... that's rather shocking really. Rehabilitate the junkie, no problem, but don't return them to a society that they're still a threat to.

I guess we just don't live in an ideal world. But as I say, it's a lot more complicated when people are past their childhood.

I appreciate what you're saying Mav, but when a kid is being bullied it doesn't matter to them what the bully may be going through, all a kid knows is that someone is picking on him and making his life a misery, sometimes even to the point where the kid doesn't even want to go outside. Then peopole come along and start to feel sorry for the bully because he has 'issues', to the kid, this looks as though the bully is being treated like the victim so sometimes they don't know where to turn.

I know this is going a bit extreme here but just this week in the papers, there was some Junkie who held two old women hostage at knife point in their own homes, just for the sake of £21. This to me is a form of bullying, but what did the Judge do? He said the drugs were the problem and all the Junkie needed was councelling and sent her back home, just yards from the women she terrorised. Now this Junkie gets to live a free life while the old women are too scared to go out their own door. Where the hell is the justice in that?! Yet again the bully is treated like the victim.

So you can see what I mean when I say that for most cases you're better just dealing with things yourself, because no-one else is going to help you out.

Well, whatever. That's just how I feel.

Obviously each instance is different and each should be dealt with in the corresponding way, and also it's a lot more complicated once you get past the age of fifteen or so.

Perhaps I may have just been to schools with excellent bullying policies - maybe it's a different case with other people. Perhaps violence, in some cases, is the only possible answer. But personally I think it should be a last resort.

There's two reasons why children are encouraged to tell an adult - so the bullying can be stopped and both the victim AND the bully can be helped. As I say, it's different in the late teens and onwards, but kids aren't evil. There is always more substance to what is immediately apparent on the surface. Bullies are insecure people and the reason for this stems from a deeper problem.

If you really want to get to the roots of the problem and solve it, then it needs to be done properly and methodically. Using violence or threats is perhaps a little short sighted. While it may stop the bullying for somebody, you need to go deeper to really help, and otherwise you'll just make matters worse for the bully.

Mav wrote:
> Foreman wrote:
> What's the right thing to do then?
>
> Just tell someone. Simple.


Yes it's the right thing to do, but sometimes it'll just make matters worse.

> You can't just let them get away with it or else it will come to the
> stage where suicide comes to mind.
>
> My advice is to fight back. I wouldn't even warn them, I'd just go
> straight up them and fight the main one.
>
> Defend yourself, yes, but don't start fights.

There's only so much you can take. If you want it over with quick, then you have to fight back. They shouldn't be bullying you in the first place. You can defend yourself for years, but it won't make them stop. It's there way of being big.

Start by seriousness to worm inside

innit

Mav you have quite obviously never been bullied, but i do agree with you that kids should have morals but whether a child knows the difference between good and bad isn't going to affect them getting beaten up by other people who don't have the same morals as the person being bullied. I also think that looking at a male perception of bullying and a female one is completely different, boys tend to be way more physical and girls is a much more mental abuse and in my opinion girls are the worst as they can affect people much more deeply. I admire the way that boys can beat each other up and then forget they had a problem.

There is very little someone can do about being bullied and that is a sad fact and not true in all cases. But you will grow out of it and you have to be strong. Family is the most important thing to someone who is being bullied. Don't let your brother feel alone.

Mav wrote:
> Children shouldn't be taught to do things like this. They should simply tell an adult.

From my experience that does not do any good, your parents cant be with you all the time and teachers do feck all. You have to learn to stand up for yourself, you can't go running to mommy when you 19 or something, the quicker you learn to stand up for yourself the better.


> I've never been bullied, but I've got a decent grasp on the morally > correct way to go about things. And in my opinion, this is not it.

If you had ever been bullied then you'd realise that bullies don't care about you, and they don't have any morals of their own. The only language they understand is a boot to the face, and hey, they seem to understand that pretty well.

Oh yeah, if the teachers are doing b*gger all then all you can do is take matters into your own hands.

I find the bes**t way to deal with bullies is to s**tand up to them. I know not everyone can do that but I used to be bullied quite often when I was at school, I used to tell teachers but they're absolutely useless so nothing ever got done. But as you can imagine, a person can only take so much, so one time this guy s**tarted on me because he thought I was an easy target. However I'd had enough and I kicked 10 shades of sh*t out of him, and he had to s**tay off school for three days because of it.

Of course this didn't go down too well with the headmas**ter and I was to be suspended from school, but after he had a 'chat' with my Dad all I got was 3 days detention. It was a small price to pay because I hardly ever get picked on now, and when I do I'm now confident enough to s**tand up for myself.

So basically the bes**t approach your brother can take, from my experience, is take control of his own life and don't depend on teachers. I realise this is easier said than done, but with the right support from his real friends and family, he should be able to sort things out.

El Horno wrote:
> So, I'm afraid, it is your point of view that I call b******t.

What I was saying is that I felt that what you did was lowering yourself to the mental level of the bully. You called that argument bullsh*t. Notice the "I'd say" at the beginning of my argument.

And my point of view is my point of view. It's not crap. I don't think you're giving good advice. "Go and fight the bully", "Threaten him", "Tie him to some railings"... what the f..? Do you really think that's the best course of action? Is that how adults behave? Children shouldn't be taught to do things like this. They should simply tell an adult.

> I was not bullying the bully - I was teaching someone... no, TWO
> people a very valuable lesson in life. You are completely within your
> rights to disagree with my advice, but if you were a victim of
> bullying yourself, I am willing to bet that you would change your
> tune.

A valuable lesson by scaring the crap out of him? I've never been bullied, but I've got a decent grasp on the morally correct way to go about things. And in my opinion, this is not it.

> Say what you like, it works. I am not a Youth Worker for nothing.

Oh, a youth worker. That doesn't make you any more qualified to give your opinion than I am.