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The Legend of the Mysterious Well
In a small boring country lay a small boring city and in it lay a small boring town and this town was called Zamkastad. Nothing ever happened in Zamkastad. The people wanted a little bit of excitement more than anything but nothing ever happened that was worth noticing. Until one day a young girl called Aaroi suddenly dissapeared. This caused the whole city to be scared and shocked but nobody did anything about it.
Then an amazing piece of evidence was found by a news reporter called Akkaw. He saw some large footprints on the ground and stupidly decided to follow them. He followed them out of the town until they stopped at a small well. He looked closer at the well and saw that 'Aaroi' was painted in blood. He screamed and before he could turn around he was pushed into the well.
Two days later the people of Zamkastad were getting very worried. There was a murderer on the loose. So a top team of detectives had to investigate. There were called Arthy, Ariac and Addeir. They followed the footprints to the well and saw two names written in blood on the side of the well this time. They were 'Aaroi' and 'Akkaw'. The detectives stared into the well and noticed that there was some more writing on the side that said: 'I will kill all with 'A' until I kill the one called Abay.' One of the detectives ran as fast as he could and got away but the other two stayed and thought about it. Then they turned round and were faced with a horrible sight but before they could scream they got pushed into the well.
Once Addeir reached the town he ran into the palace and shouted to the king 'The killer will kill everyone until he kills your daughter!!!' The king and his daughter, Abay, stood up looking shocked. The king thought this was outrageous and ordered the guards to kill the man.
The next day, Abay went missing. The king looked everywhere for her until he saw an old shed which was locked. He ordered the guards to open the shed and when he walked in, he was faced with a horrible sight. Abay was dangling from a rope. She had hung herself. She obviously knew that she was going to die so she commited suicide so that nobody else would die before her. So for hundreds of years the whole town was shocked by the legend of the Mysterious Well.
By Wakka.
In a small boring country lay a small boring city and in it lay a small boring town and this town was called Zamkastad. Nothing ever happened in Zamkastad. The people wanted a little bit of excitement more than anything but nothing ever happened that was worth noticing. Until one day a young girl called Aaroi suddenly dissapeared. This caused the whole city to be scared and shocked but nobody did anything about it.
Then an amazing piece of evidence was found by a news reporter called Akkaw. He saw some large footprints on the ground and stupidly decided to follow them. He followed them out of the town until they stopped at a small well. He looked closer at the well and saw that 'Aaroi' was painted in blood. He screamed and before he could turn around he was pushed into the well.
Two days later the people of Zamkastad were getting very worried. There was a murderer on the loose. So a top team of detectives had to investigate. There were called Arthy, Ariac and Addeir. They followed the footprints to the well and saw two names written in blood on the side of the well this time. They were 'Aaroi' and 'Akkaw'. The detectives stared into the well and noticed that there was some more writing on the side that said: 'I will kill all with 'A' until I kill the one called Abay.' One of the detectives ran as fast as he could and got away but the other two stayed and thought about it. Then they turned round and were faced with a horrible sight but before they could scream they got pushed into the well.
Once Addeir reached the town he ran into the palace and shouted to the king 'The killer will kill everyone until he kills your daughter!!!' The king and his daughter, Abay, stood up looking shocked. The king thought this was outrageous and ordered the guards to kill the man.
The next day, Abay went missing. The king looked everywhere for her until he saw an old shed which was locked. He ordered the guards to open the shed and when he walked in, he was faced with a horrible sight. Abay was dangling from a rope. She had hung herself. She obviously knew that she was going to die so she commited suicide so that nobody else would die before her. So for hundreds of years the whole town was shocked by the legend of the Mysterious Well.
By Wakka.
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Mav wrote:
> Wakka wrote:
> There was not enough behind the motives for killing people with the
> name "A" and it wasn't explained enough.
>
> How can you describe that in 150 words?
>
> You don't.
>
> The point is, when you undertake such a task as writing a paranormal
> murder story, you need to do it properly with the techniques Ashman
> wrote about - tension, character development, etc.
>
> You just can't do it convincingly in 150 words. Possibly in
> 1500, if you're very, very good.
I thought that the limit was 150 words when I wrote it. That is why it is so very short.
> Wakka wrote:
> There was not enough behind the motives for killing people with the
> name "A" and it wasn't explained enough.
>
> How can you describe that in 150 words?
>
> You don't.
>
> The point is, when you undertake such a task as writing a paranormal
> murder story, you need to do it properly with the techniques Ashman
> wrote about - tension, character development, etc.
>
> You just can't do it convincingly in 150 words. Possibly in
> 1500, if you're very, very good.
I thought that the limit was 150 words when I wrote it. That is why it is so very short.
Wakka wrote:
> There was not enough behind the motives for killing people with the
> name "A" and it wasn't explained enough.
>
> How can you describe that in 150 words?
You don't.
The point is, when you undertake such a task as writing a paranormal murder story, you need to do it properly with the techniques Ashman wrote about - tension, character development, etc.
You just can't do it convincingly in 150 words. Possibly in 1500, if you're very, very good.
> There was not enough behind the motives for killing people with the
> name "A" and it wasn't explained enough.
>
> How can you describe that in 150 words?
You don't.
The point is, when you undertake such a task as writing a paranormal murder story, you need to do it properly with the techniques Ashman wrote about - tension, character development, etc.
You just can't do it convincingly in 150 words. Possibly in 1500, if you're very, very good.
Ashman wrote:
> Mav wrote:
> Just gave it a quick read through. Stories that don't take too long
> to
> read are always refreshing, but I didn't quite enjoy this one. The
> problem is, Wakka, that if you are going to do such a small
> tale, it's incredibly hard to write convincingly when your plot is
> so... epic.
>
> If your story is going to be short, then its not easy to make all
> aspects of it believable because there is not enough time to describe
> them and etc.
Yeah I totally agree but at first I thought you had to write a story in less than 150 words so I had to make it short. Then once I had read it, I read the opening topic again and noticed it was 1500 words. Damn.
> I mean, how on earth can you document a mysterious paranormal murder
> investigation and the slaughter of everyone in a village with a name
> beginning with "A" in a few short paragraphs? Try and tone
> things down in this respect, but there's nothing wrong with writing
> a
> story that is a psychological adventure.
>
> There was not enough behind the motives for killing people with the
> name "A" and it wasn't explained enough.
How can you describe that in 150 words?
> For example, I've seen people on this site write stories wherein
> nothing particularly large happens but due to a revelation, twist or
> development in the story you can come away feeling you've read
> something spectacular.
>
> There wasn't much about your story that made you go "wow"
> or think that it was worth reading. Any twists were unclear and
> didn't involve much tension.
There's meant to be tension!!!???
> Mav wrote:
> Just gave it a quick read through. Stories that don't take too long
> to
> read are always refreshing, but I didn't quite enjoy this one. The
> problem is, Wakka, that if you are going to do such a small
> tale, it's incredibly hard to write convincingly when your plot is
> so... epic.
>
> If your story is going to be short, then its not easy to make all
> aspects of it believable because there is not enough time to describe
> them and etc.
Yeah I totally agree but at first I thought you had to write a story in less than 150 words so I had to make it short. Then once I had read it, I read the opening topic again and noticed it was 1500 words. Damn.
> I mean, how on earth can you document a mysterious paranormal murder
> investigation and the slaughter of everyone in a village with a name
> beginning with "A" in a few short paragraphs? Try and tone
> things down in this respect, but there's nothing wrong with writing
> a
> story that is a psychological adventure.
>
> There was not enough behind the motives for killing people with the
> name "A" and it wasn't explained enough.
How can you describe that in 150 words?
> For example, I've seen people on this site write stories wherein
> nothing particularly large happens but due to a revelation, twist or
> development in the story you can come away feeling you've read
> something spectacular.
>
> There wasn't much about your story that made you go "wow"
> or think that it was worth reading. Any twists were unclear and
> didn't involve much tension.
There's meant to be tension!!!???
Right-o.
While we're all on the subject of short stories, I wrote one a couple of days back that everyone seems to have largely ignored.
[URL]http://ukchatforums.reserve.co.uk/display_messages.php?threadid=100175&forumid=423[/URL] if you're interested.
Apologies for the plug but, without sounding too arrogant, I think it's more of the thing that short stories are better with. Your idea, for example, could span an entire novel.
While we're all on the subject of short stories, I wrote one a couple of days back that everyone seems to have largely ignored.
[URL]http://ukchatforums.reserve.co.uk/display_messages.php?threadid=100175&forumid=423[/URL] if you're interested.
Apologies for the plug but, without sounding too arrogant, I think it's more of the thing that short stories are better with. Your idea, for example, could span an entire novel.
Mav wrote:
> Wakka wrote:
> To be honest Mav I didn't have a clue what you just said there.
>
> What parts do you have trouble with?
I read it again and fully understood it.
> Wakka wrote:
> To be honest Mav I didn't have a clue what you just said there.
>
> What parts do you have trouble with?
I read it again and fully understood it.
Ashman wrote:
> Wakka wrote:
> To be honest Mav I didn't have a clue what you just said there.
>
> Made perfect sense to me.
*reads again* Ah. I just read too fast. ;-)
> Wakka wrote:
> To be honest Mav I didn't have a clue what you just said there.
>
> Made perfect sense to me.
*reads again* Ah. I just read too fast. ;-)
Wakka wrote:
> To be honest Mav I didn't have a clue what you just said there.
What parts do you have trouble with?
> To be honest Mav I didn't have a clue what you just said there.
What parts do you have trouble with?
Mav wrote:
> Just gave it a quick read through. Stories that don't take too long to
> read are always refreshing, but I didn't quite enjoy this one. The
> problem is, Wakka, that if you are going to do such a small
> tale, it's incredibly hard to write convincingly when your plot is
> so... epic.
If your story is going to be short, then its not easy to make all aspects of it believable because there is not enough time to describe them and etc.
> I mean, how on earth can you document a mysterious paranormal murder
> investigation and the slaughter of everyone in a village with a name
> beginning with "A" in a few short paragraphs? Try and tone
> things down in this respect, but there's nothing wrong with writing a
> story that is a psychological adventure.
There was not enough behind the motives for killing people with the name "A" and it wasn't explained enough.
> For example, I've seen people on this site write stories wherein
> nothing particularly large happens but due to a revelation, twist or
> development in the story you can come away feeling you've read
> something spectacular.
There wasn't much about your story that made you go "wow" or think that it was worth reading. Any twists were unclear and didn't involve much tension.
> Just gave it a quick read through. Stories that don't take too long to
> read are always refreshing, but I didn't quite enjoy this one. The
> problem is, Wakka, that if you are going to do such a small
> tale, it's incredibly hard to write convincingly when your plot is
> so... epic.
If your story is going to be short, then its not easy to make all aspects of it believable because there is not enough time to describe them and etc.
> I mean, how on earth can you document a mysterious paranormal murder
> investigation and the slaughter of everyone in a village with a name
> beginning with "A" in a few short paragraphs? Try and tone
> things down in this respect, but there's nothing wrong with writing a
> story that is a psychological adventure.
There was not enough behind the motives for killing people with the name "A" and it wasn't explained enough.
> For example, I've seen people on this site write stories wherein
> nothing particularly large happens but due to a revelation, twist or
> development in the story you can come away feeling you've read
> something spectacular.
There wasn't much about your story that made you go "wow" or think that it was worth reading. Any twists were unclear and didn't involve much tension.
Wakka wrote:
> To be honest Mav I didn't have a clue what you just said there.
Made perfect sense to me.
> To be honest Mav I didn't have a clue what you just said there.
Made perfect sense to me.
To be honest Mav I didn't have a clue what you just said there.
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