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"Happy fluffy kiddie story thingamy No. 2. :-)"

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Sun 11/04/04 at 20:03
Regular
Posts: 9,848
Well... it was meant to be when I started it...

It's still readable by kids but it just wouldn't appeal. I was supposed to make it more comic. :-)
It might put them off throwing tantrums though.


Here's what it is as it ended:

I'll call it:


infact, you lot suggest names and I'll edit one in when I find one that suits! :-)

A hill green
With harmony
Where grass swayed among wind flow
A lad of ten
Played till when
Upon a rock he stubbed his toe


After his cry
It caught his eye
The culprit of his sneering pain
He grabbed devout
To pull it out
Remove the object of his blame


It wouldn't budge
Just raised the grudge
As the boy felt rage swell up inside
And released all this
As a flying fist
A screaming curse echoed far and wide


He kicked, he hit
In a frenzied fit
Blind in anger, til atlast
His arms were bled
His legs felt dead
He collapsed exhausted on the grass


In defeat
He took a seat
Upon the stone to nurse his sores
Whose smooth curved top
Eased away his strop
And the hill found harmony once more
Sun 11/04/04 at 20:16
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
I rather liked that. Nice one.
Although kiddies probably wouldn't understand what the hell was going on.
Sun 11/04/04 at 20:03
Regular
Posts: 9,848
Well... it was meant to be when I started it...

It's still readable by kids but it just wouldn't appeal. I was supposed to make it more comic. :-)
It might put them off throwing tantrums though.


Here's what it is as it ended:

I'll call it:


infact, you lot suggest names and I'll edit one in when I find one that suits! :-)

A hill green
With harmony
Where grass swayed among wind flow
A lad of ten
Played till when
Upon a rock he stubbed his toe


After his cry
It caught his eye
The culprit of his sneering pain
He grabbed devout
To pull it out
Remove the object of his blame


It wouldn't budge
Just raised the grudge
As the boy felt rage swell up inside
And released all this
As a flying fist
A screaming curse echoed far and wide


He kicked, he hit
In a frenzied fit
Blind in anger, til atlast
His arms were bled
His legs felt dead
He collapsed exhausted on the grass


In defeat
He took a seat
Upon the stone to nurse his sores
Whose smooth curved top
Eased away his strop
And the hill found harmony once more

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