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"I must escape this place"

Living in Harlow gets you down. Even doing something like sitting quietly in your car waiting for someone can end up being quite a traumatic experience. That's just what I was doing this afternoon, parked quite happily on the side of the road waiting for a friend, when some utter nutjob decided that he'd start to pound on the windows of the car behind him, threatening them with death.

I've no idea what they did - I heard no noises of a crash, or an altercation until he kicked off - and it's obvious this ape didn't know who he was threatening. Yet I've never seen such wanton destruction for next to no reason - I physically cannot understand how something as pedestrian as cutting someone up or driving too close to someone can install such rage in people. The poor bloke and his wife inside were obviously terrified, and I wouldn't blame them - I was parked about 50 metres down the road, and I panicked a bit. I wouldn't care to think what I'd do in the same situation (although Bill Hicks had the right idea in his insight of the LA riots - "step on the f***ing gas, man!"). I just sat dumbstruck as this gorilla pounded away his frustration before driving off, probably to stab a policeman before having underage sex with a criminal gypsy.

It's all change at the moment. I was all set to go away to a lovely university at Bournemouth in September and although I knew there was always a possibility I wouldn't get accepted (my grades weren't exactly ideal and I applied too late), I was gutted when I got the dreaded letter on Wednesday morning, incidentally around 5 days after I quit my job. So, it was back to square one - find another course at another Uni, which isn't as easy as you might think. As it stands, I'm applying to do a good course at a Uni I'm not exactly enamoured with, again with the possibility of being knocked back. If it doesn't happen, I'll be left with no job and many debts to pay. I'll have to slink back into full-time employment when I had my heart set on 3 years of less stressful education, with occasional bouts of binge-drinking and lady-conquering. This does not instill me with a great deal of joy, and although I'm more than capable of working at the publications I yearn to work for, the people with those little bits of paper with the funny letters on them will tend to overshadow me.

Of course, if Uni falls through again, then I'll be left deflated, and still very much in Harlow. There's always the possibility of moving out and getting my own place, but there's questions of money, questions of employment and questions of roommates that would need to be answered before I can venture out on my own.

I'm babbling, so I'll cut it short - I hate this place, and most of the things in it. I'm trying to change, trying to adapt and evolve, but it keeps dragging me back in. And the worst thing is, every time I sit down and try to move myself forward, apathy just drags me back in again. I guess I really just need a new start - new job, new house, new everything.

Signing off.

If we are going to play the recommend-a-uni game, I'd say Glasgow. Sure we have neds, lots of them, but they are the most stupid in the country.

Plus me, unknown kernal, SHEEPY, AliBoy and AfroJoe could take him out and get him drunk.

Snuggly,
I went to uni in Aberystwyth - it's a little detached from anywhere else, but very un-Harlow like. The people (generally) aren't mongs, and there's a nice beach.

So if you're looking for a nice uni, I recommed it.

Just have a protein shake, all is well.

heh, interesting metaphor

I get a bit depressed about my situation. I either sleep in and miss college then have to go to work, or get up, go to college then go to work. Nothing ever changes. Over the weekends I'm too tired to go out, and instead spend my time watching my ever increasing DVD collection.

Yes, I've got shedloads of money (well, not shedloads, but 800 quid is lying in my account right now) but it doesn't really do anything for me. I see my mates once a week, at the most (if they went out Saturday night they usually don't fancy a pint on Sunday, which is when I usually see them)

And after I fail my college course and finish this contract at work, I have to get a full time job and move out. Bah.

Only time I don't feel so depressed is when I'm getting stuff done, mostly my scripts. Even then, I ask myself if they're really going to take me anywhere. I won't be going to uni, that's for certain, since I'm failing my current college course. And if I can't even pass the lowest of the low of media courses, the uni's won't exactly be queuing up to get me aboard their advanced courses. I can do the work, I know I can, my tutors know I can, I just can't be bothered with it. And if I fail this now, I'll have to do it again if I want to go to uni later on. I miss being a teenager in high school. Sure, it was hell, but you knew what to expect from one day to the next. Right now I'm wading through dangerous new territory, and my torch batteries have just died and my big sharp knife has snapped.

I guess I should also have mentioned that the window was closed at the time - the guy broke it with his fist, and still had enough force to break my friends nose.

A friend of mine last year was sat in a car park at a local garden centre (his girlfriend was inside paying for something) when someone just waltzed over and punched my friend through the side window, breaking his nose.

He then just stood there staring at my mate, who was obviously more than a little taken aback. He then walked to the side of the car park and sat on a wall, shaking his damaged hand.

When the police arrived, he was still there, and the police told my mate, after they had arrested the guy, that he was well known for it, had just come out of prison and obviously wanted to go back in.

So you see, madness is everywhere. But I can appreciate the want to start afresh, I'm feeling that a lot now myself. You get stuck in a stagnant existence, and feel you need new challenges and stimuli to breathe life back into your soul.

Maybe that's a bit deep but I had a rather heavy mary jane session last night and am feeling a bit philosophical.

It's things like that that make me realise how damn lucky I am to live where I do. It's metropolitan as far as it needs to be, and then calm and peaceful the rest. I just cannot understand people really, I don't like them much either.

Get to uni or somewhere distant, and enjoy it. Like Meka said, 'Apathy's a killer', and hopefully not in the literal sense of course.

I know what it is like to live in a place you hate, to want to get away and start again. Been there, done that.

All is not yet lost. Possibly. How old are you Snuggly? I'd guess you fall into the 21+ category, in which case you could apply as a mature student. That would make grades less relevant and in some cases entry is decided on the basis of an interview. Obviously though, each university is different.

I agree with Bell when he says don't go somewhere else just because they have the course. I had a couple of mates who did that, they ended up loathing uni. Some just quit and went to another uni the following year, some just endured it and hated every single moment.

What was the course? Unless it was a fairly rare, specialised kind of course, a lot of uni's will do it. Consider other places, go and visit them. Also, in the summer at some point, after results time I think, the papers up here in Glasgow have a supplement with all the unfilled places in Glasgow, Strathclyde, Glasgow Caley and maybe Paisley. Point is that they have unfilled places and let them go a lot easier after results time to keep the numbers up. They try to fill all their places so that they get the same budget for the next year.

You also mentioned publications, well I don't know what field they are in, but as Meka has shown you don't need to be an English graduate to be allowed to write things. Well maybe he is, but that's not the point. Goatboy mentioned that he had been doing some freelance writing before he started. There are ways and means of getting published. The more outlandish suggestion would be to go on I'm a Celebrity and get everyone from the forums to vote for you. That way you get to sell your story...

What ever you do, I hope all goes well.

You can live with me

East Kilbride is probably only a bit better though