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"Just a few great letters from Viz"

Only a few that caught my eye this issue :

"They say if you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. Well I laid down with a right dog after a beach party in Magaluf last summer, and fleas would have been a f****** blessing compared to what I got up with" - M.Earcat, Bargoed

"My mate told me that his pitbull terrier's bark was worse than its bite. Well, after plastic surgery and 132 stitches to the back of my leg, I am dreading hearing it bark, I can tell you" - Christopher Hampshire, Bristol

"In amongst some old Jazz mags I was chucking out, I recently found an old copy of Viz, in which you refer to the queen mum as a 'coffin dodger'. I bet you feel foolish now ..." - Mike Spiers, e-mail

"I saw an advert for Oil of Ulay that said it could make anyone look 10 years younger. RUBBISH! I put some on my 9 year old daughter, and she didn't look minus 1" - Mike Mirkin, e-mail

MEH

that was a great sketch...
wasn't it supposed to be Robert Smith from The Cure??

i remember one where he fell out of a flat window and plummetted towards the floor saying "oh no, what a personal disaster" in a dreary monotone voice.

genius :)

Good. Sometimes I read stuff I've written and get reminded of the 'man afflicted with a sarcastic tone of voice' from The Mary Whitehouse Experience.

didn't sound sarcastic to me.

Hmm, every time I type something it sounds like I'm being sarcastic. Note to self: get new internal reading voice.

Darling wrote:
> 'Don't waste money on buying a cap with a peak at the back...Simply
> get an old cap, cut off the peak and sew it to the back of the
> hat..'

God, I almost did myself a mischief laughing at that one.

Darling wrote:
> A POST-IT note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal deterrent to
> lip-readers.
> Bryn Littleton, Chester-le-Street

LOL!

heh heh.

It takes a twisted kind of humour, but the 'AHA JUST AS I THOUGHT!' one with the dog made me snigger for hours.

www.viz.co.uk

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly eggtimers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.
James Bell, Email

A POST-IT note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal deterrent to lip-readers.
Bryn Littleton, Chester-le-Street

Loaded has a darker humour to it. Front is good too, but recently they've turned it into somewhat of a porn mag. If I wanted porn, I'd buy porn, I don't want 30 pages of smutty phone numbers that I'll never ring.

I subscribed to Viz anyway, only cost me about 20 quid for the year I think.

I reckon i might start buying it myself..i also love FHM..that cracks me up to..i just love blokes mags!