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Only a few that caught my eye this issue :
"They say if you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. Well I laid down with a right dog after a beach party in Magaluf last summer, and fleas would have been a f****** blessing compared to what I got up with" - M.Earcat, Bargoed
"My mate told me that his pitbull terrier's bark was worse than its bite. Well, after plastic surgery and 132 stitches to the back of my leg, I am dreading hearing it bark, I can tell you" - Christopher Hampshire, Bristol
"In amongst some old Jazz mags I was chucking out, I recently found an old copy of Viz, in which you refer to the queen mum as a 'coffin dodger'. I bet you feel foolish now ..." - Mike Spiers, e-mail
"I saw an advert for Oil of Ulay that said it could make anyone look 10 years younger. RUBBISH! I put some on my 9 year old daughter, and she didn't look minus 1" - Mike Mirkin, e-mail
MEH
"They say if you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. Well I laid down with a right dog after a beach party in Magaluf last summer, and fleas would have been a f****** blessing compared to what I got up with" - M.Earcat, Bargoed
"My mate told me that his pitbull terrier's bark was worse than its bite. Well, after plastic surgery and 132 stitches to the back of my leg, I am dreading hearing it bark, I can tell you" - Christopher Hampshire, Bristol
"In amongst some old Jazz mags I was chucking out, I recently found an old copy of Viz, in which you refer to the queen mum as a 'coffin dodger'. I bet you feel foolish now ..." - Mike Spiers, e-mail
"I saw an advert for Oil of Ulay that said it could make anyone look 10 years younger. RUBBISH! I put some on my 9 year old daughter, and she didn't look minus 1" - Mike Mirkin, e-mail
MEH
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Only a few that caught my eye this issue :
"They say if you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. Well I laid down with a right dog after a beach party in Magaluf last summer, and fleas would have been a f****** blessing compared to what I got up with" - M.Earcat, Bargoed
"My mate told me that his pitbull terrier's bark was worse than its bite. Well, after plastic surgery and 132 stitches to the back of my leg, I am dreading hearing it bark, I can tell you" - Christopher Hampshire, Bristol
"In amongst some old Jazz mags I was chucking out, I recently found an old copy of Viz, in which you refer to the queen mum as a 'coffin dodger'. I bet you feel foolish now ..." - Mike Spiers, e-mail
"I saw an advert for Oil of Ulay that said it could make anyone look 10 years younger. RUBBISH! I put some on my 9 year old daughter, and she didn't look minus 1" - Mike Mirkin, e-mail
MEH
"They say if you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. Well I laid down with a right dog after a beach party in Magaluf last summer, and fleas would have been a f****** blessing compared to what I got up with" - M.Earcat, Bargoed
"My mate told me that his pitbull terrier's bark was worse than its bite. Well, after plastic surgery and 132 stitches to the back of my leg, I am dreading hearing it bark, I can tell you" - Christopher Hampshire, Bristol
"In amongst some old Jazz mags I was chucking out, I recently found an old copy of Viz, in which you refer to the queen mum as a 'coffin dodger'. I bet you feel foolish now ..." - Mike Spiers, e-mail
"I saw an advert for Oil of Ulay that said it could make anyone look 10 years younger. RUBBISH! I put some on my 9 year old daughter, and she didn't look minus 1" - Mike Mirkin, e-mail
MEH
Hahahahaha!
Heh I like the "bark worse than the bite" and the oil of ulay ones :-D
Maybe a minus 1 year old looks exactly like a nine year old.
I love Viz. Top Tips especially. I was reading a copy of Take a Break the other day (you don't want to know why) and read some of the real things:
Don't throw your shopping receipts away! Stick them to the fridge and when you run out of an item simply highlight it and take the receipt with you when you go shopping - that way you won't forget what you need!
Hmm, yeah, that sounds almost like A SHOPPING LIST. Except that doesn't require covering your fridge in acres of unattractive paper, searching for a receipt from 1999 when you run out of Windowlene, rifling through a wad of receipts while down at Safeway, or having all sharp objects in the house hidden away in case you mistakenly stab yourself the face out of sheer stupidity. What in god's name is wrong with that woman?
Don't throw your shopping receipts away! Stick them to the fridge and when you run out of an item simply highlight it and take the receipt with you when you go shopping - that way you won't forget what you need!
Hmm, yeah, that sounds almost like A SHOPPING LIST. Except that doesn't require covering your fridge in acres of unattractive paper, searching for a receipt from 1999 when you run out of Windowlene, rifling through a wad of receipts while down at Safeway, or having all sharp objects in the house hidden away in case you mistakenly stab yourself the face out of sheer stupidity. What in god's name is wrong with that woman?
But that method assumes that anything you want you have already bought at some time in the past. Which is unlikely to be true in every case unless you lead a dull, dull life.
dull dull life
ßora† SagdiyeV wrote:
> "In amongst some old Jazz mags I was chucking out, I recently
> found an old copy of Viz, in which you refer to the queen mum as a
> 'coffin dodger'. I bet you feel foolish now ..." - Mike Spiers,
> e-mail
I laughed so loud at this..i can't stop..what is wrong with me?
I used to read viz..correction i used to read my ex's viz..Anyway i remember once i read the top tip and it went something like this..
'Don't waste money on buying a cap with a peak at the back...Simply get an old cap, cut off the peak and sew it to the back of the hat..'
Obviously it was worded much better therefore being much funnier...
> "In amongst some old Jazz mags I was chucking out, I recently
> found an old copy of Viz, in which you refer to the queen mum as a
> 'coffin dodger'. I bet you feel foolish now ..." - Mike Spiers,
I laughed so loud at this..i can't stop..what is wrong with me?
I used to read viz..correction i used to read my ex's viz..Anyway i remember once i read the top tip and it went something like this..
'Don't waste money on buying a cap with a peak at the back...Simply get an old cap, cut off the peak and sew it to the back of the hat..'
Obviously it was worded much better therefore being much funnier...
Viz = pure class
ßora† SagdiyeV wrote:
> Viz = pure class
*nods*
> Viz = pure class
*nods*
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