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When joining the SR forums, most people will fall into the much hated "newbie" category. While other posters will go on to become fully functioning members, the vast majority will simply spam their way to being banned faster than Shaneo on a newly opened account.
The bread and butter of any forum, the annoying newbies pour in thick and fast. Displaying the mental capacities of somebody who has just downed half a bottle of cheap, imported wine, all of their posts will be about as on topic as talking about hardcore porn in a monastery. Grammatically amusing, their ramblings will not adhere to any particular topic, they're just sort of... there. For the sake of it.
The only rule to being an annoying newbie is that there aren't any rules. Anything goes, including their dignity.
The best part of being an annoying newbie is joy of choosing a name. Classics such as "12345678910" and "PS2roxorz!" will always make people stand up and notice them. The tagline is also important, something to let the other posters know where their allegiance lies. "Xboxsuxorz!1" is a good one.
Any thought that pops into their simply minds will instantly be posted, regardless of what time it is or how many death threats they have received up to that point. No matter how much crap spews from their keyboards, they will always be shocked and angered by the flames from other posters, and will soon claim they are being bullied for no good reason (see: Games Girl)
Any post that gets ignored will constantly be moved to the top by their own replies, or simply posted again in every other forum. Because, of course, people want questions about what they ate for breakfast in the Movies, Music, TV and Books forum. Hi-jacking other threads with their inane rambling is another tactic they subscribe to, as is quoting entire posts without actually adding a reply. Because having a high word count is as important as oxygen to these people.
Text talk will make up the majority of their posts, along with an infinite supply of "lol"s. People who complain they can't read "txt tlk" will, in turn, be flamed by the newbie because "dey so stoopad".
Female newbies are becoming quite common on the forums. Names like “cute girl” and “sxy!” are bound to get pulses racing. With constant posts about certain male games characters being cute, what their puppy got up to over the weekend and how GREAT their boyfriends are “omg i be wiv him two weeks he want to maryr me, he 22, i 14, i so excited? i love him!!!” they will soon have everyone eating out of their (probably male) hands.
The overall stupidity of the forums skyrockets every time they appear. Other newbies, sensing a female presence on the forums, will go to great lengths to chat up the girls, showing off their great use of grammar and their knowledge of games.
Some newbies don't have the coherency to put together a post of their own, so after a while will adopt the "flaming newbie" stance, a great choice for those who don't have anything of any worth to contribute. These posters cannot go three words without some mention of homosexuality, a poster's mother, human waste or how much a certain console "sux". They will vaguely address the subject at hand, but cleverly disguise it behind a slew of insults aimed at all those involved in the thread, even other newbies (bashing newbies will make the regulars accept them, but they don't actually want that, because "regulars suck")
Flaming everyone and everything in sight, they will only let up slightly when somebody actually agrees with them. Then that person will be flamed twice as bad for showing allegiance to another console.
Insulting posters for asking for help is the best way to go about being branded a flaming newbie, and while some may just constantly reply "1 word - google" in response to people asking for help finding something, others will simply tell them they suck and offer no guidance at all.
Another faction of the annoying newbie is the zealot. With blind devotion to one company, they take loving the PS2 and hating the Gamecube to another, almost scary, level. Militaristic and willing to be annoying AND flame, the zealot newbie is the ultimate newbie. The uber newbie, if you will. They have “insider information” on all the new games and the next console by their favourite company (their best mate Dave works for Sony, developing processors, don’t you know) The mere notion of playing on another console will cause an outburst of profanity, followed by “Sony rulez!” repeated over and over again.
All of these kinds of newbies are likely to plug their unfinished website, post made up cheats, walkthroughs ripped directly from gamefaqs.com, reviews from "PS2 roxorz" magazine and show that they are currently failing in English. They will also demand SR sell certain items cheaper because they saw a second hand shop down the Grainger market selling a battered PS2 controller for £5, require Snuggly to update the GAD winners list every 0.3 seconds, ask for GAD prizes simply for being on the top posters list and expect SR staff to reply to their every request before they've even finished typing it.
The newbie will continue spamming and annoying until they are warned. Of course, this is like kicking a bull in the nads and then dangling a red flag in front of their angry, snorting face, since warning the newbie will only cause them to spam, swear and annoy people even more. Their life on the SR forums will come to an untimely end (though not soon enough for the other members) when they are finally banned. Of course, this won't stop them, as they will continue coming back under new aliases until they get bored and descend on the next message board like locusts stalking a corn field. Good riddance.
The bread and butter of any forum, the annoying newbies pour in thick and fast. Displaying the mental capacities of somebody who has just downed half a bottle of cheap, imported wine, all of their posts will be about as on topic as talking about hardcore porn in a monastery. Grammatically amusing, their ramblings will not adhere to any particular topic, they're just sort of... there. For the sake of it.
The only rule to being an annoying newbie is that there aren't any rules. Anything goes, including their dignity.
The best part of being an annoying newbie is joy of choosing a name. Classics such as "12345678910" and "PS2roxorz!" will always make people stand up and notice them. The tagline is also important, something to let the other posters know where their allegiance lies. "Xboxsuxorz!1" is a good one.
Any thought that pops into their simply minds will instantly be posted, regardless of what time it is or how many death threats they have received up to that point. No matter how much crap spews from their keyboards, they will always be shocked and angered by the flames from other posters, and will soon claim they are being bullied for no good reason (see: Games Girl)
Any post that gets ignored will constantly be moved to the top by their own replies, or simply posted again in every other forum. Because, of course, people want questions about what they ate for breakfast in the Movies, Music, TV and Books forum. Hi-jacking other threads with their inane rambling is another tactic they subscribe to, as is quoting entire posts without actually adding a reply. Because having a high word count is as important as oxygen to these people.
Text talk will make up the majority of their posts, along with an infinite supply of "lol"s. People who complain they can't read "txt tlk" will, in turn, be flamed by the newbie because "dey so stoopad".
Female newbies are becoming quite common on the forums. Names like “cute girl” and “sxy!” are bound to get pulses racing. With constant posts about certain male games characters being cute, what their puppy got up to over the weekend and how GREAT their boyfriends are “omg i be wiv him two weeks he want to maryr me, he 22, i 14, i so excited? i love him!!!” they will soon have everyone eating out of their (probably male) hands.
The overall stupidity of the forums skyrockets every time they appear. Other newbies, sensing a female presence on the forums, will go to great lengths to chat up the girls, showing off their great use of grammar and their knowledge of games.
Some newbies don't have the coherency to put together a post of their own, so after a while will adopt the "flaming newbie" stance, a great choice for those who don't have anything of any worth to contribute. These posters cannot go three words without some mention of homosexuality, a poster's mother, human waste or how much a certain console "sux". They will vaguely address the subject at hand, but cleverly disguise it behind a slew of insults aimed at all those involved in the thread, even other newbies (bashing newbies will make the regulars accept them, but they don't actually want that, because "regulars suck")
Flaming everyone and everything in sight, they will only let up slightly when somebody actually agrees with them. Then that person will be flamed twice as bad for showing allegiance to another console.
Insulting posters for asking for help is the best way to go about being branded a flaming newbie, and while some may just constantly reply "1 word - google" in response to people asking for help finding something, others will simply tell them they suck and offer no guidance at all.
Another faction of the annoying newbie is the zealot. With blind devotion to one company, they take loving the PS2 and hating the Gamecube to another, almost scary, level. Militaristic and willing to be annoying AND flame, the zealot newbie is the ultimate newbie. The uber newbie, if you will. They have “insider information” on all the new games and the next console by their favourite company (their best mate Dave works for Sony, developing processors, don’t you know) The mere notion of playing on another console will cause an outburst of profanity, followed by “Sony rulez!” repeated over and over again.
All of these kinds of newbies are likely to plug their unfinished website, post made up cheats, walkthroughs ripped directly from gamefaqs.com, reviews from "PS2 roxorz" magazine and show that they are currently failing in English. They will also demand SR sell certain items cheaper because they saw a second hand shop down the Grainger market selling a battered PS2 controller for £5, require Snuggly to update the GAD winners list every 0.3 seconds, ask for GAD prizes simply for being on the top posters list and expect SR staff to reply to their every request before they've even finished typing it.
The newbie will continue spamming and annoying until they are warned. Of course, this is like kicking a bull in the nads and then dangling a red flag in front of their angry, snorting face, since warning the newbie will only cause them to spam, swear and annoy people even more. Their life on the SR forums will come to an untimely end (though not soon enough for the other members) when they are finally banned. Of course, this won't stop them, as they will continue coming back under new aliases until they get bored and descend on the next message board like locusts stalking a corn field. Good riddance.
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Jmaul wrote:
> i cant be bothered to read it all. lol
If you did bother to read it all, you really wouldnt of put 'lol' in both of your posts.
> i cant be bothered to read it all. lol
If you did bother to read it all, you really wouldnt of put 'lol' in both of your posts.
It is true the newbies are coming in like a person taking a laxative so maybe they should limit the sign up rate say 3-6 sign ups a month?
Sure the newbies here cant go and you cant abuse them out look at games girl so I dont know.
Sure the newbies here cant go and you cant abuse them out look at games girl so I dont know.
El Blokey wrote:
> But what REALLY makes the thread is 'Paradox' of all people replying
> with that comment.
Heh, quiet you, you're the prodigal son of SR reviews with more GADs than a heroin addict has needle holes. :-D
> But what REALLY makes the thread is 'Paradox' of all people replying
> with that comment.
Heh, quiet you, you're the prodigal son of SR reviews with more GADs than a heroin addict has needle holes. :-D
MoJoJoJo wrote:
> I've just found myself in a creative mood. Since college and work
> steal most of my week, I feel like I have to make the most of my free
> time, so over the last couple of days I've gone on impulse and just
> opened notepad and started typing, like with my Dave post in the life
> forum.
Can't say I've seen a "Dave" post, but I'll go and look for it. I have sort of binges of impulsiveness where I feel I have to write stuff, and then have spastics criticising my work like bugs on a windscreen. It's a funny little world.
I didnt add before, good post :-)
> I've just found myself in a creative mood. Since college and work
> steal most of my week, I feel like I have to make the most of my free
> time, so over the last couple of days I've gone on impulse and just
> opened notepad and started typing, like with my Dave post in the life
> forum.
Can't say I've seen a "Dave" post, but I'll go and look for it. I have sort of binges of impulsiveness where I feel I have to write stuff, and then have spastics criticising my work like bugs on a windscreen. It's a funny little world.
I didnt add before, good post :-)
Jmaul wrote:
> Morbo wrote:
> why you lazy little newbie!! :D
>
> lol, everyone is a noobie at sum point
Yeah, but not everyone is an idiot.
> Morbo wrote:
> why you lazy little newbie!! :D
>
> lol, everyone is a noobie at sum point
Yeah, but not everyone is an idiot.
Morbo wrote:
> i like this guy, ok then... flog, beat, and generaly Torture the fools
What guy? Moi?
> i like this guy, ok then... flog, beat, and generaly Torture the fools
What guy? Moi?
i like this guy, ok then... flog, beat, and generaly Torture the fools
im guilty of moving my post to the top by my own replies(although ive now stopped)and flaming as you call it(mostly DW and RAVEN-OUS on the wrestling page)but ill never start it.as for the rest text talk is evil and i will never spam.
Morbo wrote:
> why you lazy little newbie!! :D
lol, everyone is a noobie at sum point
> why you lazy little newbie!! :D
lol, everyone is a noobie at sum point
Now I'm no Big town Fancy lawyer but flogging may not be enough.
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