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Saw Return of the King last night, and I have to say that I was blown away! Everything you've read about this film is true. It dwarfs the other two films in just about every department, and I can't wait to see it again. But in terms of being gay, it is easily the gayest film in the word ever (except for the Ewoks). Not that there's anything wrong with that. Frodo loves Sam, Aragorn loves Gimli, and Gandalf loves them all...in kind of brotherly way, of course. And Orlando Bloom is still the worst actor in the world - this film and Pirates of the Caribbean (another film that I liked this year) confirm that. All he does is squint his eyes a bit, like he's looking at something really far away.
The whole film was like a big metaphor for sex - could have been gay-bumsex, but don't ask me I've never done that (it was just a rumour)! Half an hour of fumbling around in the dark, going up peaks and down valleys, the occassional glimpse of Aragorn's sword, or Gandalf's staff...ooo-er. And then it happens. The rest of the film suddenly explodes into a gigantic 3 hour cumshot that just leaves you gasping for more. I could go on and on about the battle scenes, but they have to be seen to be believed. The best fantasy battle ever commited to film. The motherload, if you will. they just didn't
All this though, and it's still not a special effects movie. Not like the last couple of Matrix films, which were shallow, soul-less movies for the eMpTyV generation. Did you come out of the climax to that series of films with a smile on your face and a feeling that you'd just participated in an epic journey? Well, I didn't. Maybe that should've camped it up to compete with the LOTR series? It's an excellent feel-good film, which really engrossed me right until the end. Everyone knows that Frodo completes his quest (and if you didn't, you do now!), but you still root for him when he's confronted by masses of Orcs and giant spiders. The pace of the film gives the audience time to catch their breath before the next obstacle arrives, and swicthes between stories so that you never get tired. And if you do happen to get tired, they'll suddenly give you a battle to prod you awake.
This is now one of my favourite series of films, even giving Star Wars a run for it's money. And I came out of it with my burly heterosexualness intact, which surely is a good thing.
The whole film was like a big metaphor for sex - could have been gay-bumsex, but don't ask me I've never done that (it was just a rumour)! Half an hour of fumbling around in the dark, going up peaks and down valleys, the occassional glimpse of Aragorn's sword, or Gandalf's staff...ooo-er. And then it happens. The rest of the film suddenly explodes into a gigantic 3 hour cumshot that just leaves you gasping for more. I could go on and on about the battle scenes, but they have to be seen to be believed. The best fantasy battle ever commited to film. The motherload, if you will. they just didn't
All this though, and it's still not a special effects movie. Not like the last couple of Matrix films, which were shallow, soul-less movies for the eMpTyV generation. Did you come out of the climax to that series of films with a smile on your face and a feeling that you'd just participated in an epic journey? Well, I didn't. Maybe that should've camped it up to compete with the LOTR series? It's an excellent feel-good film, which really engrossed me right until the end. Everyone knows that Frodo completes his quest (and if you didn't, you do now!), but you still root for him when he's confronted by masses of Orcs and giant spiders. The pace of the film gives the audience time to catch their breath before the next obstacle arrives, and swicthes between stories so that you never get tired. And if you do happen to get tired, they'll suddenly give you a battle to prod you awake.
This is now one of my favourite series of films, even giving Star Wars a run for it's money. And I came out of it with my burly heterosexualness intact, which surely is a good thing.
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Dunno what happened at the end of that second paragraph. Was probably gonna say something like "It kicks Willow's ass into touch", or something equally as sarcy.
Saw Return of the King last night, and I have to say that I was blown away! Everything you've read about this film is true. It dwarfs the other two films in just about every department, and I can't wait to see it again. But in terms of being gay, it is easily the gayest film in the word ever (except for the Ewoks). Not that there's anything wrong with that. Frodo loves Sam, Aragorn loves Gimli, and Gandalf loves them all...in kind of brotherly way, of course. And Orlando Bloom is still the worst actor in the world - this film and Pirates of the Caribbean (another film that I liked this year) confirm that. All he does is squint his eyes a bit, like he's looking at something really far away.
The whole film was like a big metaphor for sex - could have been gay-bumsex, but don't ask me I've never done that (it was just a rumour)! Half an hour of fumbling around in the dark, going up peaks and down valleys, the occassional glimpse of Aragorn's sword, or Gandalf's staff...ooo-er. And then it happens. The rest of the film suddenly explodes into a gigantic 3 hour cumshot that just leaves you gasping for more. I could go on and on about the battle scenes, but they have to be seen to be believed. The best fantasy battle ever commited to film. The motherload, if you will. they just didn't
All this though, and it's still not a special effects movie. Not like the last couple of Matrix films, which were shallow, soul-less movies for the eMpTyV generation. Did you come out of the climax to that series of films with a smile on your face and a feeling that you'd just participated in an epic journey? Well, I didn't. Maybe that should've camped it up to compete with the LOTR series? It's an excellent feel-good film, which really engrossed me right until the end. Everyone knows that Frodo completes his quest (and if you didn't, you do now!), but you still root for him when he's confronted by masses of Orcs and giant spiders. The pace of the film gives the audience time to catch their breath before the next obstacle arrives, and swicthes between stories so that you never get tired. And if you do happen to get tired, they'll suddenly give you a battle to prod you awake.
This is now one of my favourite series of films, even giving Star Wars a run for it's money. And I came out of it with my burly heterosexualness intact, which surely is a good thing.
The whole film was like a big metaphor for sex - could have been gay-bumsex, but don't ask me I've never done that (it was just a rumour)! Half an hour of fumbling around in the dark, going up peaks and down valleys, the occassional glimpse of Aragorn's sword, or Gandalf's staff...ooo-er. And then it happens. The rest of the film suddenly explodes into a gigantic 3 hour cumshot that just leaves you gasping for more. I could go on and on about the battle scenes, but they have to be seen to be believed. The best fantasy battle ever commited to film. The motherload, if you will. they just didn't
All this though, and it's still not a special effects movie. Not like the last couple of Matrix films, which were shallow, soul-less movies for the eMpTyV generation. Did you come out of the climax to that series of films with a smile on your face and a feeling that you'd just participated in an epic journey? Well, I didn't. Maybe that should've camped it up to compete with the LOTR series? It's an excellent feel-good film, which really engrossed me right until the end. Everyone knows that Frodo completes his quest (and if you didn't, you do now!), but you still root for him when he's confronted by masses of Orcs and giant spiders. The pace of the film gives the audience time to catch their breath before the next obstacle arrives, and swicthes between stories so that you never get tired. And if you do happen to get tired, they'll suddenly give you a battle to prod you awake.
This is now one of my favourite series of films, even giving Star Wars a run for it's money. And I came out of it with my burly heterosexualness intact, which surely is a good thing.
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