Viewing Thread:
"Thoughts on reaching thirty years of age."

Ok, my current situation.

I am in a happy relationship with a girl I split up from on bad terms over 4 years ago.

We own a house.

I own a car.

I own a computer.

I gained a 2:1 degree this year, after 5 years of part time study. Top of the year games programming and artificial intelligence.

I offer shelter to two pet rats, the most mischievous little sods I have ever seen.

I am being made redundant next year as our distribution centre is closing.

I still love cartoons, video gaming, graphic novels and daft, what some people would call immature things.

I love film and cinema immensely.

I earn an ok wage (and will get a better one in my next job.)

I have a good circle of friends (which I don’t see as often as I’d like to, too busy at times either drinking or coding or drinking AND coding.)

I have recently shaved my head after having hair down to my waist.

I still read a vast amount of books, Currently “Woves of the Calla” by Stephen King, before that “His Dark materials” (Phillip Pullman) for the 3rd time, before than “Imagica” by Clive Barker, before that “Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas”, for approx the 6th.

I code in 3d engines and tokamak physics for a hobby.

I drink *way* too much at weekends.

I am down to ten tabs a day from thirty.

I now have a grip on my previously crippling bipolar depression.

Is this where I expected my life to be at this age?
Taking stock though, It could have been so much worse.

What would have happened if I didn’t get taken on as a temporary data entry clerk for my current company? I wouldn’t have the six years experience I have in computing and the degree qualification, which they paid for in full.

What would have happened if I didn’t have the balls to dump my previous psychopathic girlfriend this time last year? I would not have got back together with my current girlfriend, who I love immensely. I wouldn’t have the house, the car or the computer, and may have a poorer degree as the beatch nearly had me going to a psychologist due to the stress of the emotional blackmail she was laying on me. The depression would still have a grip too.

What would have happened if I weren’t to be made redundant? I would be in this same job next year, which I cannot do now, and have to look for other work.

My life could be so much different, and so much less enjoyable. To all people going through a bad patch, it’s a bit if a cliché but its true. Hold on, things will get better in time. They may not turn out to be what you want them to be, but they will level. Find something that makes you happy, and focus on that. If you are in a relationship that is unhappy, take the plunge and get out of it, and accept that it will be difficult for a while, but its for the best. Take no hassle off anybody. Lack of self confidence is crippling, and not as easy to solve as “Hey, you feel like dancing but are too self conscious, do it anyway, no-one will care.” My degree course solved my problems in this area, being forced to do presentations (in a cold sweat and shaking I might add) made me realise that other people are the same. Talk to them about it. You might be surprised at their reaction.
I held off talking to my friend about taking mood stabilising drugs for months, and it nearly drove us apart (I was burning my arms with a lighter at the time.) He noticed, and I told him.
His reaction, “Oh well, If it helps you control yourself, it’s a good thing.”
This is from someone who thinks that people suffering from post natal depression are lazy………

All the best people.

Thanks for listening to the random thoughts of an old fogie.

My life consists of coming to terms with perpetual disappointment.

The world in which we are brought up is a lie, and leaves many unprepared for "the real world". It's a source of great anger for me, but one I'm slowly learning to deal with.

I'm actually starting to fight my deep-rooted cynicism by making steps to obtain literature on "positive thinking", though I suspect I will read it with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek and silently mock every word of it.

Life is there to be enjoyed, but it's hard to get the enjoyment from it when you're surrounded by 6billion self-interested babboons.

Orgasmo Malcior wrote:
> Pandaemonium wrote:
>
> Top of the year games programming and artificial intelligence
>
> your not gonna program the matrix are you?!

Bwhahahahaha. You will all be my puppets. Heh, Neural nets have a long, long way to go yet ;)

> oh and you contemplating live, is an inspiration to us all

Thanks. I woke up this morning in a weird mood (as you can probably tell.) Just tring to get my thoughts in order. A mssage board is a strange place to do it but what the hell, I'm up for anything once (well, nearly anything)

Ineedsleep wrote:
> However you didn't actually answer your own question of 'Is this
> where I expected my life to be at this age?'
>
> I tend to live in the here and now and thinking about it I always
> have. I don't believe I had any aspirations earlier in life, except
> to get a job to pay for the things I wanted. I always seem to do
> things on spec. Kind of like the time I was messing around with my
> sister and our mother said we should buy a house together. We looked
> at each other, said that's a good idea, three months later we were
> moving in to our own home and we had a load of fun.

Yeah, missed out the "No" in the "Is this where I expected to be." Whups,
but as I said, it could have been so much worse. My first job was as a trainee picture framer for a week (It was basically getting someone in for slave labour when there was a rush on.) If I had been *offered* the job then I would have taken it, and may have ended up on a low wage for the rest of my life. Conversley, I might be somewhere totally different from my current situation.

I suppose I am the same as you, I live for the here and now. If things change, then they do. I am currently curious, and not bitter about what could have been.

Pandaemonium wrote:

> Top of the year games programming and artificial intelligence

your not gonna program the matrix are you?!

oh and you contemplating live, is an inspiration to us all

It's a pleasure to read this kind of post from someone who, reading between the lines, is quite content with life at the moment instead of demanding more or beating themselves up for not achieving yet what they thought they wanted to achieve.

This made me chuckle:

> We own a house.

> I own a car.

> I own a computer.

Until I thought about it and realised I am in the same situation. We own a house but it is my car, my computer, my games consoles and my dog.

However you didn't actually answer your own question of 'Is this where I expected my life to be at this age?'

I tend to live in the here and now and thinking about it I always have. I don't believe I had any aspirations earlier in life, except to get a job to pay for the things I wanted. I always seem to do things on spec. Kind of like the time I was messing around with my sister and our mother said we should buy a house together. We looked at each other, said that's a good idea, three months later we were moving in to our own home and we had a load of fun.

Ok, my current situation.

I am in a happy relationship with a girl I split up from on bad terms over 4 years ago.

We own a house.

I own a car.

I own a computer.

I gained a 2:1 degree this year, after 5 years of part time study. Top of the year games programming and artificial intelligence.

I offer shelter to two pet rats, the most mischievous little sods I have ever seen.

I am being made redundant next year as our distribution centre is closing.

I still love cartoons, video gaming, graphic novels and daft, what some people would call immature things.

I love film and cinema immensely.

I earn an ok wage (and will get a better one in my next job.)

I have a good circle of friends (which I don’t see as often as I’d like to, too busy at times either drinking or coding or drinking AND coding.)

I have recently shaved my head after having hair down to my waist.

I still read a vast amount of books, Currently “Woves of the Calla” by Stephen King, before that “His Dark materials” (Phillip Pullman) for the 3rd time, before than “Imagica” by Clive Barker, before that “Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas”, for approx the 6th.

I code in 3d engines and tokamak physics for a hobby.

I drink *way* too much at weekends.

I am down to ten tabs a day from thirty.

I now have a grip on my previously crippling bipolar depression.

Is this where I expected my life to be at this age?
Taking stock though, It could have been so much worse.

What would have happened if I didn’t get taken on as a temporary data entry clerk for my current company? I wouldn’t have the six years experience I have in computing and the degree qualification, which they paid for in full.

What would have happened if I didn’t have the balls to dump my previous psychopathic girlfriend this time last year? I would not have got back together with my current girlfriend, who I love immensely. I wouldn’t have the house, the car or the computer, and may have a poorer degree as the beatch nearly had me going to a psychologist due to the stress of the emotional blackmail she was laying on me. The depression would still have a grip too.

What would have happened if I weren’t to be made redundant? I would be in this same job next year, which I cannot do now, and have to look for other work.

My life could be so much different, and so much less enjoyable. To all people going through a bad patch, it’s a bit if a cliché but its true. Hold on, things will get better in time. They may not turn out to be what you want them to be, but they will level. Find something that makes you happy, and focus on that. If you are in a relationship that is unhappy, take the plunge and get out of it, and accept that it will be difficult for a while, but its for the best. Take no hassle off anybody. Lack of self confidence is crippling, and not as easy to solve as “Hey, you feel like dancing but are too self conscious, do it anyway, no-one will care.” My degree course solved my problems in this area, being forced to do presentations (in a cold sweat and shaking I might add) made me realise that other people are the same. Talk to them about it. You might be surprised at their reaction.
I held off talking to my friend about taking mood stabilising drugs for months, and it nearly drove us apart (I was burning my arms with a lighter at the time.) He noticed, and I told him.
His reaction, “Oh well, If it helps you control yourself, it’s a good thing.”
This is from someone who thinks that people suffering from post natal depression are lazy………

All the best people.

Thanks for listening to the random thoughts of an old fogie.