Viewing Thread:
"Thoughts on reaching thirty years of age."

Ok, my current situation.

I am in a happy relationship with a girl I split up from on bad terms over 4 years ago.

We own a house.

I own a car.

I own a computer.

I gained a 2:1 degree this year, after 5 years of part time study. Top of the year games programming and artificial intelligence.

I offer shelter to two pet rats, the most mischievous little sods I have ever seen.

I am being made redundant next year as our distribution centre is closing.

I still love cartoons, video gaming, graphic novels and daft, what some people would call immature things.

I love film and cinema immensely.

I earn an ok wage (and will get a better one in my next job.)

I have a good circle of friends (which I don’t see as often as I’d like to, too busy at times either drinking or coding or drinking AND coding.)

I have recently shaved my head after having hair down to my waist.

I still read a vast amount of books, Currently “Woves of the Calla” by Stephen King, before that “His Dark materials” (Phillip Pullman) for the 3rd time, before than “Imagica” by Clive Barker, before that “Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas”, for approx the 6th.

I code in 3d engines and tokamak physics for a hobby.

I drink *way* too much at weekends.

I am down to ten tabs a day from thirty.

I now have a grip on my previously crippling bipolar depression.

Is this where I expected my life to be at this age?
Taking stock though, It could have been so much worse.

What would have happened if I didn’t get taken on as a temporary data entry clerk for my current company? I wouldn’t have the six years experience I have in computing and the degree qualification, which they paid for in full.

What would have happened if I didn’t have the balls to dump my previous psychopathic girlfriend this time last year? I would not have got back together with my current girlfriend, who I love immensely. I wouldn’t have the house, the car or the computer, and may have a poorer degree as the beatch nearly had me going to a psychologist due to the stress of the emotional blackmail she was laying on me. The depression would still have a grip too.

What would have happened if I weren’t to be made redundant? I would be in this same job next year, which I cannot do now, and have to look for other work.

My life could be so much different, and so much less enjoyable. To all people going through a bad patch, it’s a bit if a cliché but its true. Hold on, things will get better in time. They may not turn out to be what you want them to be, but they will level. Find something that makes you happy, and focus on that. If you are in a relationship that is unhappy, take the plunge and get out of it, and accept that it will be difficult for a while, but its for the best. Take no hassle off anybody. Lack of self confidence is crippling, and not as easy to solve as “Hey, you feel like dancing but are too self conscious, do it anyway, no-one will care.” My degree course solved my problems in this area, being forced to do presentations (in a cold sweat and shaking I might add) made me realise that other people are the same. Talk to them about it. You might be surprised at their reaction.
I held off talking to my friend about taking mood stabilising drugs for months, and it nearly drove us apart (I was burning my arms with a lighter at the time.) He noticed, and I told him.
His reaction, “Oh well, If it helps you control yourself, it’s a good thing.”
This is from someone who thinks that people suffering from post natal depression are lazy………

All the best people.

Thanks for listening to the random thoughts of an old fogie.

Pandaemonium wrote:
> I’ll have a drink for everyone one the life forum over the weekend,
> and if you think I can’t do it, you are sadly mistaken ;)

Oh, I don't doubt you for one minute! Just remember you only have one liver ...

... unless your name's George Best.

Timmargh wrote:
> Living life day-to-day is the only way I know how - I save money but
> the rest of my life is as spontaneous as I can make it. I'm rambling
> on about me, now, and I shouldn't so I'll stop!
>
> Good post, man, and I hope you have a good birthday when the day
> arrives.

I had a workmate that moved companies to a property development agent. For the last week, he boasted constantly about the massive wage increase, paid for driving lessons (he didn’t drive) and eventually flash company car.

Two weeks after starting his hours rose to 12 a day. This was because the state of the network was not told to him before starting, and it was urgent to get it installed and configured correctly. His boss changed overnight from a funny, “mans man” type of bloke to a total nightmare. Screaming, shouting and sweating at staff. He didn’t see his young family that much and when he did, he was too tired to do anything. Plus, it being 9pm, two of them were in bed.

The thing is, I was offered a position there. When I hear about the latest horror story from him, I now have to suppress a smirk, thinking about him saying how great the new job would be and rubbing my nose in it because I chose to finish my degree.

Cheers for the birthday greets, it’s this Sunday when I’m thirty, but will be away from a computer till Tuesday. I’ll have a drink for everyone one the life forum over the weekend, and if you think I can’t do it, you are sadly mistaken ;)

Light wrote:
> Pandaemonium wrote:
>
>
> What would have happened if I didn’t have the balls to dump my
> previous psychopathic girlfriend this time last year?
>
> I suspect, very strongly, that you would have returned home to find
> that your housemate had staked her out in the back yard and was
> encouraging his cats to eat all the flesh off of her face whilst he
> danced round her soon-to-be corpse, giggling, and yelling "You
> see?!?! You see what you made me do?!?!?!"
>

Bwhahahahaha. (deep voice) "The felines feed *well* tonight."

> This is from someone who thinks that people suffering from post
> natal
> depression are lazy………
>
> Meh heheheheheheheheheheh. I think I may know the identity of this
> friend.

Heh, I can guarantee you you are correct. :)

I did a post similar to this the day before my 30th back in March and, while the specific situations were different, the outcome was the same.

I still have a few things in my life I'm not happy with but the things I *am* happy with outway them, at the moment.

A few years ago I'd been promised a job by a friend whose dad had started his own company but the offer never materialised. Three other friends *did* get offered jobs, though, and while they're all comfortably well off none of them are happy and they've admitted as much. I used to be bitter about it but now I see them working all hours God sends and I'm glad it never happened! If I had worked with them and not where I eventually got a job then I would never have met my current girlfriend - sure we argue now and then, but she has a fantastic family that I am glad to know.

Living life day-to-day is the only way I know how - I save money but the rest of my life is as spontaneous as I can make it. I'm rambling on about me, now, and I shouldn't so I'll stop!

Good post, man, and I hope you have a good birthday when the day arrives.

Pandaemonium wrote:

>
> What would have happened if I didn’t have the balls to dump my
> previous psychopathic girlfriend this time last year?

I suspect, very strongly, that you would have returned home to find that your housemate had staked her out in the back yard and was encouraging his cats to eat all the flesh off of her face whilst he danced round her soon-to-be corpse, giggling, and yelling "You see?!?! You see what you made me do?!?!?!"



> This is from someone who thinks that people suffering from post natal
> depression are lazy………

Meh heheheheheheheheheheh. I think I may know the identity of this friend.


> Thanks for listening to the random thoughts of an old fogie.

Good post. I enjoyed that.

Don't be a stranger monkey boy. Come fly with us!

I'm good to know that you are all seeking help.

Insane Bartender wrote:
> You realise that if I come across a similar phrase now, I will burst
> into laughter...

Keep me informed. Even better, compile a list of ones that nearly, or do, make you vomm. :)

Pandaemonium wrote:
> As to the positive thinking literature, I have never read any, but
> imagine it to contains phrases like “Its time to take a swim in the
> lake of you.”
>
> If anyone ever said anything like that to me, I wouldn’t be
> responsible for my actions …..

You realise that if I come across a similar phrase now, I will burst into laughter...

Insane Bartender wrote:
> My life consists of coming to terms with perpetual disappointment.
>
> The world in which we are brought up is a lie, and leaves many
> unprepared for "the real world". It's a source of great
> anger for me, but one I'm slowly learning to deal with.
>
> I'm actually starting to fight my deep-rooted cynicism by making
> steps to obtain literature on "positive thinking", though I
> suspect I will read it with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek and
> silently mock every word of it.
>
> Life is there to be enjoyed, but it's hard to get the enjoyment from
> it when you're surrounded by 6billion self-interested babboons.

Very true. I think my depression partly stemmed from this, the idea of you can have everything you want when you are growing up and are brainwashed by parents and teachers. I think the first time I saw "Fight Club" (or it might be the book" it really hit a nerve, particularly the (from memory): -

"When we are growing up, we are told we can become anything we want, an airplane pilot, an astronaut, a football player...................

but, we *wont*"

As to the positive thinking literature, I have never read any, but imagine it to contains phrases like “Its time to take a swim in the lake of you.”

If anyone ever said anything like that to me, I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions …..