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Ok, my current situation.
I am in a happy relationship with a girl I split up from on bad terms over 4 years ago.
We own a house.
I own a car.
I own a computer.
I gained a 2:1 degree this year, after 5 years of part time study. Top of the year games programming and artificial intelligence.
I offer shelter to two pet rats, the most mischievous little sods I have ever seen.
I am being made redundant next year as our distribution centre is closing.
I still love cartoons, video gaming, graphic novels and daft, what some people would call immature things.
I love film and cinema immensely.
I earn an ok wage (and will get a better one in my next job.)
I have a good circle of friends (which I don’t see as often as I’d like to, too busy at times either drinking or coding or drinking AND coding.)
I have recently shaved my head after having hair down to my waist.
I still read a vast amount of books, Currently “Woves of the Calla” by Stephen King, before that “His Dark materials” (Phillip Pullman) for the 3rd time, before than “Imagica” by Clive Barker, before that “Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas”, for approx the 6th.
I code in 3d engines and tokamak physics for a hobby.
I drink *way* too much at weekends.
I am down to ten tabs a day from thirty.
I now have a grip on my previously crippling bipolar depression.
Is this where I expected my life to be at this age?
Taking stock though, It could have been so much worse.
What would have happened if I didn’t get taken on as a temporary data entry clerk for my current company? I wouldn’t have the six years experience I have in computing and the degree qualification, which they paid for in full.
What would have happened if I didn’t have the balls to dump my previous psychopathic girlfriend this time last year? I would not have got back together with my current girlfriend, who I love immensely. I wouldn’t have the house, the car or the computer, and may have a poorer degree as the beatch nearly had me going to a psychologist due to the stress of the emotional blackmail she was laying on me. The depression would still have a grip too.
What would have happened if I weren’t to be made redundant? I would be in this same job next year, which I cannot do now, and have to look for other work.
My life could be so much different, and so much less enjoyable. To all people going through a bad patch, it’s a bit if a cliché but its true. Hold on, things will get better in time. They may not turn out to be what you want them to be, but they will level. Find something that makes you happy, and focus on that. If you are in a relationship that is unhappy, take the plunge and get out of it, and accept that it will be difficult for a while, but its for the best. Take no hassle off anybody. Lack of self confidence is crippling, and not as easy to solve as “Hey, you feel like dancing but are too self conscious, do it anyway, no-one will care.” My degree course solved my problems in this area, being forced to do presentations (in a cold sweat and shaking I might add) made me realise that other people are the same. Talk to them about it. You might be surprised at their reaction.
I held off talking to my friend about taking mood stabilising drugs for months, and it nearly drove us apart (I was burning my arms with a lighter at the time.) He noticed, and I told him.
His reaction, “Oh well, If it helps you control yourself, it’s a good thing.”
This is from someone who thinks that people suffering from post natal depression are lazy………
All the best people.
Thanks for listening to the random thoughts of an old fogie.
I am in a happy relationship with a girl I split up from on bad terms over 4 years ago.
We own a house.
I own a car.
I own a computer.
I gained a 2:1 degree this year, after 5 years of part time study. Top of the year games programming and artificial intelligence.
I offer shelter to two pet rats, the most mischievous little sods I have ever seen.
I am being made redundant next year as our distribution centre is closing.
I still love cartoons, video gaming, graphic novels and daft, what some people would call immature things.
I love film and cinema immensely.
I earn an ok wage (and will get a better one in my next job.)
I have a good circle of friends (which I don’t see as often as I’d like to, too busy at times either drinking or coding or drinking AND coding.)
I have recently shaved my head after having hair down to my waist.
I still read a vast amount of books, Currently “Woves of the Calla” by Stephen King, before that “His Dark materials” (Phillip Pullman) for the 3rd time, before than “Imagica” by Clive Barker, before that “Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas”, for approx the 6th.
I code in 3d engines and tokamak physics for a hobby.
I drink *way* too much at weekends.
I am down to ten tabs a day from thirty.
I now have a grip on my previously crippling bipolar depression.
Is this where I expected my life to be at this age?
Taking stock though, It could have been so much worse.
What would have happened if I didn’t get taken on as a temporary data entry clerk for my current company? I wouldn’t have the six years experience I have in computing and the degree qualification, which they paid for in full.
What would have happened if I didn’t have the balls to dump my previous psychopathic girlfriend this time last year? I would not have got back together with my current girlfriend, who I love immensely. I wouldn’t have the house, the car or the computer, and may have a poorer degree as the beatch nearly had me going to a psychologist due to the stress of the emotional blackmail she was laying on me. The depression would still have a grip too.
What would have happened if I weren’t to be made redundant? I would be in this same job next year, which I cannot do now, and have to look for other work.
My life could be so much different, and so much less enjoyable. To all people going through a bad patch, it’s a bit if a cliché but its true. Hold on, things will get better in time. They may not turn out to be what you want them to be, but they will level. Find something that makes you happy, and focus on that. If you are in a relationship that is unhappy, take the plunge and get out of it, and accept that it will be difficult for a while, but its for the best. Take no hassle off anybody. Lack of self confidence is crippling, and not as easy to solve as “Hey, you feel like dancing but are too self conscious, do it anyway, no-one will care.” My degree course solved my problems in this area, being forced to do presentations (in a cold sweat and shaking I might add) made me realise that other people are the same. Talk to them about it. You might be surprised at their reaction.
I held off talking to my friend about taking mood stabilising drugs for months, and it nearly drove us apart (I was burning my arms with a lighter at the time.) He noticed, and I told him.
His reaction, “Oh well, If it helps you control yourself, it’s a good thing.”
This is from someone who thinks that people suffering from post natal depression are lazy………
All the best people.
Thanks for listening to the random thoughts of an old fogie.
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Ineedsleep wrote:
> Still a baby then :)
>
> Pandaemonium - happy birthday for Sunday, wishes for much merriment
> are sent your way.
Appreciated :)
> Still a baby then :)
>
> Pandaemonium - happy birthday for Sunday, wishes for much merriment
> are sent your way.
Appreciated :)
The Preacher wrote:
> Nice to see that not everyone in these forums is a spotty teenager
> either :-) I myself am ( whisper it ) 39 ( ARRGGHHH !! ).
Still a baby then :)
Pandaemonium - happy birthday for Sunday, wishes for much merriment are sent your way.
> Nice to see that not everyone in these forums is a spotty teenager
> either :-) I myself am ( whisper it ) 39 ( ARRGGHHH !! ).
Still a baby then :)
Pandaemonium - happy birthday for Sunday, wishes for much merriment are sent your way.
Pandaemonium wrote:
> Thanks. Its responses like this that make this a decent forum. I was
> posting on another unmoderated one populated by trolls and lunatics.
>
>
>
You should check out this site: www.p45.net
Wonderful forums, wonderful people, many of whom I've met personally. It's based in Ireland but has members from all over the world. I used to post regularly there until the bas**rd network admin people in my office banned access to it. :-(
> Thanks. Its responses like this that make this a decent forum. I was
> posting on another unmoderated one populated by trolls and lunatics.
>
>
>
You should check out this site: www.p45.net
Wonderful forums, wonderful people, many of whom I've met personally. It's based in Ireland but has members from all over the world. I used to post regularly there until the bas**rd network admin people in my office banned access to it. :-(
Thanks. Its responses like this that make this a decent forum. I was posting on another unmoderated one populated by trolls and lunatics. Thirty nine? Ohhh, respect. I’ll be there soon ;)
Keep up the guitar playing! Its something I wish I could do, but I don’t have a musical bone in my body (I’m the same with painting and other artwork)
A quick post, but my newly downloaded object orientated rendering engine has now compiled after 4 hours, so I’m going to see if I can make head nor tail of it.
All the best.
Keep up the guitar playing! Its something I wish I could do, but I don’t have a musical bone in my body (I’m the same with painting and other artwork)
A quick post, but my newly downloaded object orientated rendering engine has now compiled after 4 hours, so I’m going to see if I can make head nor tail of it.
All the best.
Much respect to you Pandaemonium. Sounds like you have definitely made the most of what chances you've been given. You've made a good life for yourself despite what I can only imagine is a dreadful condition to be saddled with ( i.e. your depression ).
Nice to see that not everyone in these forums is a spotty teenager either :-) I myself am ( whisper it ) 39 ( ARRGGHHH !! ).
A word for Insane Bartender: while it's true that 99.99 % of self help / positive thinking type books are toss, keep an open mind. About 15 years ago I bought a book called "Go For It" by a Dr Irene Kassorla. The basic thrust of the book was that if you're fed up with your current career you can change it if you're prepared to work hard. While I haven't changed my career yet, the book did inspire me to go for something I'd long given up on, which was to learn to play guitar and become a songwriter. I have since learned to play guitar and slowly but surely learned to write good songs to the point where I now have at least one albums worth of first class songs.
And don't give up on the rest of humanity just yet. There ARE intelligent, compassionate people out there ( remember the anti war marches ? )
Nice to see that not everyone in these forums is a spotty teenager either :-) I myself am ( whisper it ) 39 ( ARRGGHHH !! ).
A word for Insane Bartender: while it's true that 99.99 % of self help / positive thinking type books are toss, keep an open mind. About 15 years ago I bought a book called "Go For It" by a Dr Irene Kassorla. The basic thrust of the book was that if you're fed up with your current career you can change it if you're prepared to work hard. While I haven't changed my career yet, the book did inspire me to go for something I'd long given up on, which was to learn to play guitar and become a songwriter. I have since learned to play guitar and slowly but surely learned to write good songs to the point where I now have at least one albums worth of first class songs.
And don't give up on the rest of humanity just yet. There ARE intelligent, compassionate people out there ( remember the anti war marches ? )
SHEEPY wrote:
> Forty is more scary... ooh will you have kids? Or worse a beer belly
> to the EXTREME!!
Kids? Absolutely not a chance.
Beer belly? I've already got one, but it's not from beer :-(
> Forty is more scary... ooh will you have kids? Or worse a beer belly
> to the EXTREME!!
Kids? Absolutely not a chance.
Beer belly? I've already got one, but it's not from beer :-(
I'd be quite a good place to be a thirty I guess
Forty is more scary... ooh will you have kids? Or worse a beer belly to the EXTREME!!
Forty is more scary... ooh will you have kids? Or worse a beer belly to the EXTREME!!
Pandaemonium wrote:
> ... it’s this Sunday when I’m thirty
:-)
> ... it’s this Sunday when I’m thirty
:-)
Is it your birthday?
Pandaemonium wrote:
> The thing is, I was offered a position there. When I hear about the
> latest horror story from him, I now have to suppress a smirk,
> thinking about him saying how great the new job would be and rubbing
> my nose in it because I chose to finish my degree.
Heh, I didn't finish my degree (not my fault) but I would never rub someone's nose in it.
But I can say that I earn more than any of my friends that DO have degrees...
> The thing is, I was offered a position there. When I hear about the
> latest horror story from him, I now have to suppress a smirk,
> thinking about him saying how great the new job would be and rubbing
> my nose in it because I chose to finish my degree.
Heh, I didn't finish my degree (not my fault) but I would never rub someone's nose in it.
But I can say that I earn more than any of my friends that DO have degrees...
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