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"The Ripper"

Walking through the shadows with a serial-killer’s stride
Bearing razor rimmed blades to tear your chest open, wide
He slinks through darkened courtyards to lure young maidens fair
Into his den of death and vice, before he kills them there.
Beware his sullen steely gaze, he’ll cut you with a glance
Be cautious on your journeys as he’d kill with half a chance
You should fear his iron-tight grasp, which alone is said to kill
And hope upon hope tonight it isn’t your blood he spills
He kills indiscriminately, as flesh he loves to tear
Although it has been rumoured, he prefers your maidens, fair
But he will kill anything; beast or man, or even a young nipper
Because he is a psychopath, by the name of Jack the Ripper

Walking through the shadows with a serial-killer’s stride
Bearing razor rimmed blades to tear your chest open, wide
He slinks through darkened courtyards to lure young maidens fair
Into his den of death and vice, before he kills them there.
Beware his sullen steely gaze, he’ll cut you with a glance
Be cautious on your journeys as he’d kill with half a chance
You should fear his iron-tight grasp, which alone is said to kill
And hope upon hope tonight it isn’t your blood he spills
He kills indiscriminately, as flesh he loves to tear
Although it has been rumoured, he prefers your maidens, fair
But he will kill anything; beast or man, or even a young nipper
Because he is a psychopath, by the name of Jack the Ripper

Don't know about this one. It is dark, but some of the lines are forced, like the "nipper" one. Still like it though, and Jacks description.

The "nipper" for the "Ripper" does seem too convenient, but that's my criticism of rhyming poetry in general. And personally I'd change "a serial killer's stride" - it gives the impression that there is some official way for serial killer's to walk. Other from that, and the slightly forced ending, the rest was fine.

Yeah, the ending is something I dont like too much either but the poem was based around "jack the ripper"

I will rework it and post it in a second, see if it is any better.

Walking through the shadows with an urban butcher's stride
Bearing razor rimmed blades to tear your chest open, wide
He slinks through darkened courtyards to lure young maidens fair
Into his den of death and vice, before he kills them there.
Beware his sullen steely gaze, he’ll cut you with a glance
Be cautious on your journeys as he’d kill with half a chance
You should fear his iron-tight grasp, which alone is said to kill
And hope upon hope tonight it isn’t your blood he spills
He kills indiscriminately, as flesh he loves to tear
Although it has been rumoured, he prefers your maidens, fair
He's known as the shadow-crawler with a heard deepest black
Fearful whispers convey the name of the ripper, called jack.

heart*

spelling isn't my strong point today

Mindfrig do you write all these poems and suchlike? Or just get them off the net somewhere ;cD

I make them all up, naturally.

Do you prefer my re-working of it?

Its a bit too blunt for me.

I prefer pointless subtlety, which I then hope of mastering and totaly fail.

Yeah, im with you on that.