The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Microsoft genius Bill Gates was today killed after a 5 hour shootout near the Microsoft headquarters in Pennsylvania, America. The incident occurred when a system error caused an entire months work on a new version of Microsoft Windows to be lost. Upon realising it was his own fault and that no backup copies of the software or source codes had been made, Bill Gates armed himself with a .79 sniper rifle and climbed a clock tower close to the head office of Microsoft in a small Pennsylvanian town and began shooting randomly at passers by. Six victims were fatally wounded by Bill Gates, 5 of the victims male and one female, several more were injured and required surgery.
Victims of the shooting were taken to the local Greenfields Hospital where we got a statement from a young man who witnessed the outrageous feat. “I was coming home from work when I heard a loud bang from the clock tower above. I looked about to see a man in his mid-twenties laying face down on the floor and heard maniacal laughter coming from above. It was a traumatising experience and something that will haunt me for years to come”
Within half an hour a crack SAS team were on the case and zip-wired into the clock tower armed with AK-47s. After Bill Gates tried to bribe the SAS men with free software and also tried to virus them, how he did this we cannot yet verify, a struggle broke out in which Bill Gates received 23 gunshot wounds to the head and chest. SAS spokesman Paul Whittington said, “Accidents can happen and this is no exception.” We later interviewed a Linux spokesman who simply broke down in laughter when we told him of the occurrence.
In later news Ebay bidders can get their clicking fingers ready because Bill Gates’ pudding-bowl hair and Elton John style glasses are being put up for auction later today. The proceeds of the biddings are going to a charity for underpaid Microsoft Officials who only have between 3 and 4 sports cars each.
Victims of the shooting were taken to the local Greenfields Hospital where we got a statement from a young man who witnessed the outrageous feat. “I was coming home from work when I heard a loud bang from the clock tower above. I looked about to see a man in his mid-twenties laying face down on the floor and heard maniacal laughter coming from above. It was a traumatising experience and something that will haunt me for years to come”
Within half an hour a crack SAS team were on the case and zip-wired into the clock tower armed with AK-47s. After Bill Gates tried to bribe the SAS men with free software and also tried to virus them, how he did this we cannot yet verify, a struggle broke out in which Bill Gates received 23 gunshot wounds to the head and chest. SAS spokesman Paul Whittington said, “Accidents can happen and this is no exception.” We later interviewed a Linux spokesman who simply broke down in laughter when we told him of the occurrence.
In later news Ebay bidders can get their clicking fingers ready because Bill Gates’ pudding-bowl hair and Elton John style glasses are being put up for auction later today. The proceeds of the biddings are going to a charity for underpaid Microsoft Officials who only have between 3 and 4 sports cars each.
Page:
Microsoft genius Bill Gates was today killed after a 5 hour shootout near the Microsoft headquarters in Pennsylvania, America. The incident occurred when a system error caused an entire months work on a new version of Microsoft Windows to be lost. Upon realising it was his own fault and that no backup copies of the software or source codes had been made, Bill Gates armed himself with a .79 sniper rifle and climbed a clock tower close to the head office of Microsoft in a small Pennsylvanian town and began shooting randomly at passers by. Six victims were fatally wounded by Bill Gates, 5 of the victims male and one female, several more were injured and required surgery.
Victims of the shooting were taken to the local Greenfields Hospital where we got a statement from a young man who witnessed the outrageous feat. “I was coming home from work when I heard a loud bang from the clock tower above. I looked about to see a man in his mid-twenties laying face down on the floor and heard maniacal laughter coming from above. It was a traumatising experience and something that will haunt me for years to come”
Within half an hour a crack SAS team were on the case and zip-wired into the clock tower armed with AK-47s. After Bill Gates tried to bribe the SAS men with free software and also tried to virus them, how he did this we cannot yet verify, a struggle broke out in which Bill Gates received 23 gunshot wounds to the head and chest. SAS spokesman Paul Whittington said, “Accidents can happen and this is no exception.” We later interviewed a Linux spokesman who simply broke down in laughter when we told him of the occurrence.
In later news Ebay bidders can get their clicking fingers ready because Bill Gates’ pudding-bowl hair and Elton John style glasses are being put up for auction later today. The proceeds of the biddings are going to a charity for underpaid Microsoft Officials who only have between 3 and 4 sports cars each.
Victims of the shooting were taken to the local Greenfields Hospital where we got a statement from a young man who witnessed the outrageous feat. “I was coming home from work when I heard a loud bang from the clock tower above. I looked about to see a man in his mid-twenties laying face down on the floor and heard maniacal laughter coming from above. It was a traumatising experience and something that will haunt me for years to come”
Within half an hour a crack SAS team were on the case and zip-wired into the clock tower armed with AK-47s. After Bill Gates tried to bribe the SAS men with free software and also tried to virus them, how he did this we cannot yet verify, a struggle broke out in which Bill Gates received 23 gunshot wounds to the head and chest. SAS spokesman Paul Whittington said, “Accidents can happen and this is no exception.” We later interviewed a Linux spokesman who simply broke down in laughter when we told him of the occurrence.
In later news Ebay bidders can get their clicking fingers ready because Bill Gates’ pudding-bowl hair and Elton John style glasses are being put up for auction later today. The proceeds of the biddings are going to a charity for underpaid Microsoft Officials who only have between 3 and 4 sports cars each.
You should've put SWAT instead of SAS.
Good otherwise, but I don't believe you. :P
Good otherwise, but I don't believe you. :P
You know full well some Americana SWAT team couldnt do it, they'd be eating donuts and suchlike. SAS are the men for the job when it comes to clocktower shootings.
that was genuinely funny, I particularly liked the bit about 23 bullets to the head and chest. that should make up for all the times I had to format my hard drive .....
Funny is right. The SAS use M16's though, by the way.
:P
:P
And Bill Gates is more like 50 than late 20s.
No. He shot someone in their mid twenties, not that he is in his late twenties.
*cough*
Whoops. Take away my Red Bull if you will.
Whoops. Take away my Red Bull if you will.
On a semi-related note a female friend confessed today that she thought her father was a spy. She has no reason on which to base her beleif except he doesnt tell her what he does for a living. I reckon he is a male stripper or a bin-man. Hmm.
No, real spies probably just say they're bankers, businessmen/women or stock investor. Or possibly an accountant.
Page: